[Secretum]

Hi everyone. I've been away for awhile, and I'm not even sure why. I just stopped logging on, stopped lurking even, for most of the past several weeks. Anyway, I'll try to come back, if whatever psychological force that took me away will let me.

To completely change topics...I've recently started Abilify. It has been a little over a week, and I now am up to 10 mg nightly. The second time I took it (@ 2 mg), I noticed that a tension that I didn't even notice had relaxed. I'm not sure if this is still occurring; I no longer feel super-relaxed, though perhaps I am less within the grip of my emotions than I was before?

One excellent effect that I have noticed is a sharp decrease in sui thoughts. I still feel miserable sometimes, but...I just don't want to die. I can't explain why, and I imagine that this wonderful shift must be from the Abilify. But I still wonder...what if it's not? What if my moods are just naturally evening out, i.e. the thoughts would have gone away on their own by now? Am I swallowing this expensive and potentially dangerous medication for no reason?

I'm also still far from "better"; I've had a lot of ultradian cycling and times when I experienced both depressive and hypomanic symptoms at the same exact time (but without the agitation of a true mixed episode). I've been seeing things and feeling paranoid a lot more often; strange that an antipsychotic would have that side effect! I'm still too much of a coward to tell my pdoc about the hallucinations and paranoia.

I have noticed that, while I experience highs more often, they are blunted. The euphoria does not possess my entire body, but remains in my chest. It never lasts long. Tegretol + Abilify = this? Perhaps this is improvement?

I really hope that the positive changes I have noticed are from the Abilify, because my pdoc said that if I improve on Abilify, we can get rid of Tegretol. And I really hate Tegretol. I still feel this hopelessness, however; part of me is convinced that nothing will ever work, and if it does, it won't work for long. So that part is probably trying to downplay the positive effects that probably are from the Abilify.

Overall, I am confused. Is the Abilify making me better, albeit in a very specific way? Has anyone else experienced similar effects-relaxation, less intense emotions, and a decrease in suicidal thoughts-from Abilify? How about the side effects-more ultradian cycling, blunted but frequent hypomania, more psychotic symptoms? Thanks for all and any input. I realize that I am the only person who can really answer this question, but I'm having a hard time with it.

Bonus question: Am I even crazier than I thought for thinking that Abilify tablets have a bit of a fruity flavor?

[tutitaylor]

Hi, I am on abilify and it has helped me a lot. I went off of it for financial reasons and then I REALLY noticed how much it had helped me. I promptly went back on it. As for your other symptoms I don't have them and never did. I do not taste a fruity flavor, but hey, that could be a bonus for you! This could be a very good thing for you, but I would tell my Pdoc all of my symptoms just to be on the safe side. I wish you the best! Tuti

[Secretum]

Tuti, thanks so much for your perspective. I'm glad that Abilify has helped you, and more hopeful that it will help me. Have a wonderful day!

[Resident Bipolar]

Even though there is such a thing as a 'placebo effect'...I don't really think it could be accountable to the effects that you are experiencing - especially due to the severity of your illness.

Abilify is a reasonably new medication and is quickly becoming one of the favourites for the treatment of bipolar disorder due to its less severe side effects and efficacy in reducing the severity of both mania and depression.

I'd say that you have found the right medication for you (for now at least) as it's been very successful in helping you to 1. Stay out of dangerous mania and depression and eventually 2. Lead a successful and relatively normal life.

Just remember to keep an eye out for decreasing effectiveness and the return of suicidal thoughts and/or behaviours.

Well done and keep it up
RB♥

[catrules]

When I started taking abilify, the doc told me that the effects would be pretty fast. Like within 5 to 7 days, so it sounds like this could really be working for you. I was able to go off of lamictal as a result of the abilify, and am grateful for that. I wish you all the best.

[xp1155]

This certainly sounds promising for you!

[chrysalis22]

hmmm i don't know if i have mixed states. i probably do now that i ponder it. i can feel happy or hopeful about something or someone (or myself) somewhat and yet have that underlying just want to be dead feeling at same time. hmmm. i bet i do have mixed states. i am most definitely bipolar 2 ultradian. i have agitation (high) and depression mainly w/ anxiety and constant obsessive racing thoughts. almost ADHDish. i wonder if abilify might help me too. so glad to hear it's helped you!!!

[chrysalis22]

hey RB, what movie is that from, that photo of yours in siggy on right?

[Secretum]

Thanks, everyone. For all those who said that it was working, you were right! =] Depression = almost completely gone.

[Resident Bipolar]

Originally Posted by Secretum

Thanks, everyone. For all those who said that it was working, you were right! =] Depression = almost completely gone.

Excellent news! Thanks for posting in.
I'm glad you've found the medication that works for you.

RB ♥

[bluemountains]

I just started abilify yesterday, and I am hoping for the same results! Actually, I didn't feel like crying this morning-that's a plus!
Bluemountains

[grandmaof3]

Meds work differently on different people. Abilfy did nothing at all for me but I'm glad its working for you