[2ofme]

Ive got an issue coz im diagnosed as bipolar because of many, many long episodes of depression recurring multiple times a year plus what can be described as dysphoric mania plus some hypomania.

Ive told my pdoc what happens in all my episodes but hes never ever seen me when Im anything but depressed or slightly hypomanic so im wondering how on earth can they diagnose me with bipolar? 2 different pdocs have said the same thing.

I dont have mania regularly - i usually just cycle between long periods of severe depression and some hypomania. The dysphoric mania happens maybe 1-2x a year. When Im manic tho i dont show up to appointments or even think about going to see a doctor.

How do I know if its really mania or if its just something else? i dont want to be put on these powerful drugs for nothing and seeing as no doctor has seen me manic how do i know theyre right?

[thelittlethings86]

My doctor has never seen me manic either. She's just heard what I can remember of the episodes and how I feel when they occur. She based me as BPII on this information. I think they know enough to diagnose based on what they're told, not just what they personally witness. If you're really questioning your DX you need to find someone who can give you a second opinion.

[RapidFlyer]

The following is my experience and my experience only. I am not suggesting it as a way for anyone but me to discover their own truth about BiPolar.

When I finally accepted my diagnoses was when my then Doc said if you take this medicine and have no manic symptoms you are not Bi Polar. If you have manic symptoms you are Bi Polar. Will you try it? Supervised?

I agreed.

She gave me the medication. Later that day I was higher than a kite manic. I was well on my way to manic hospitalization. Fortunately I was supervised and she and those around me knew what was going on and I was immediately brought down with another medication.

I was finally convinced. Completely convinced. She had never seen me manic when she suggested this experiment. She had taken 3 sessions to listen, test, listen and then diagnose me.

Since then my Docs only see me manic by accident. The last place I tend to show up when I am manic is the docs office. But I do call them now when it hits and they have Heard me manic.

I hope this helps.

[2ofme]

Thanks for the replies.

Im caught between believing Im bipolar one day & totally doubting it the next.

Originally Posted by RapidFlyer

The last place I tend to show up when I am manic is the docs office.

Thats just it - I feel a bit like a fraud and totally unsure about how "right" the diagnosis is because of this - but theres not much chance theyre ever gonna catch me manic because im not going to be seeing a dr when Im feeling like that!

They diagnosed me BP1 because my "mania" involves some psychotic features.

Originally Posted by 2ofme

...- but theres not much chance theyre ever gonna catch me manic because im not going to be seeing a dr when Im feeling like that!...

In hindsight, I can see this. I'd originally been dx'd MDD by a GP, and had been massively depressed for a very long time before finally relenting and going in. She gave me an AD. Before two days, I was... WOOT!!! I really knew nothing of BP, and was just so damn happy to not be depressed, I didn't care/recognize a problem. Didn't go in. Then she'd only see me crashed, and just kept on with different, combined and various dosages of ADs. My cycling got really crazy. But I didn't know it was cycling, because I didn't know what that was. Because I'd been doing it all my life, it seemed "normal", till realizing that it was amplified and speeded up, and really bad, it finally dawned, "Wow, I've been more f'd up that ever!" (Haha, you'd think dancing on countertops in the middle of the night, singing at the top of my lungs and shouting, "they've got my whole old record collection!!!" would've been a clue, but no. And that was early on! No insight, clueless GP.) Once it got figured out, I learned about BP and it was like reading my life story. Realizing my GP was totally out of her depth with me, I finally conceded that a Pdoc was in order. Even so, I stubbornly didn't want meds. Not long and guess who started bouncing off the walls again?

So, on the other, yes, I've been seen bouncing around on the couch, talking a mile a minute...., "No, really, I'm GREAT! Meds? No way! HAHAHAHA!!! Don't need those!" She just gave me a knowing look and said, "Ummm, alright then. Call when you change your mind." Crashed. Called. Then had to scramble and realized how stupid I'd been.

Even so, and to your concern, I was dx'd when not hypo. It was talking about decades of what turned out to be totally classic BP. Really, it was so obvious that to this day it's unfathomable that I made it that long. It was later that she saw (unmedicated) me launched.

[Rosie23]

Seems like many people say the doc hasn't seen them manic. Makes sense. Why go to the doc if you feel like superman.
Everyone goes when they feel like crap.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

In hindsight, I can see this. I'd originally been dx'd MDD by a GP, and had been massively depressed for a very long time before finally relenting and going in. She gave me an AD. Before two days, I was... WOOT!!! I really knew nothing of BP, and was just so damn happy to not be depressed, I didn't care/recognize a problem. Didn't go in. Then she'd only see me crashed, and just kept on with different, combined and various dosages of ADs. My cycling got really crazy. But I didn't know it was cycling, because I didn't know what that was. Because I'd been doing it all my life, it seemed "normal", till realizing that it was amplified and speeded up, and really bad, it finally dawned, "Wow, I've been more f'd up that ever!" (Haha, you'd think dancing on countertops in the middle of the night, singing at the top of my lungs and shouting, "they've got my whole old record collection!!!" would've been a clue, but no. And that was early on! No insight, clueless GP.) Once it got figured out, I learned about BP and it was like reading my life story. Realizing my GP was totally out of her depth with me, I finally conceded that a Pdoc was in order. Even so, I stubbornly didn't want meds. Not long and guess who started bouncing off the walls again?

Even so, and to your concern, I was dx'd when not hypo. It was talking about decades of what turned out to be totally classic BP. Really, it was so obvious that to this day it's unfathomable that I made it that long. It was later that she saw (unmedicated) me launched.

You're writing my life story again!

Only instead of dancing on countertops, I stood on a pool table in a frat house on a party night and demonstrated how I could hook my tongue ring through my nipple piercing. Among other things. And the ADs made me hallucinate - so what did they do? Evaluate me for schizophrenia (nope!) and change the ADs, over and over.

I had to figure it out myself, and the first time they totally brushed me off - 15 years later, I could actually explain the problem a bit better and it was absolutely clear that it was (still) BP. T asked me why no one had picked up on this before; I figure it was mostly lack of insight and not knowing what symptoms to report. I know they don't want to ask leading questions for very good reasons, but I had no idea that what I was experiencing wasn't normal. Well, aside from the hallucinations.

Since being in treatment, I've been very mildly hypomanic at the T's a couple times, but other than that, the professionals have never seen me in true form.