I feel rotten

It seems there's no hope left. If there is, I can't see it. I've failed too many times. The sexual/chemical addiction is too complicated when mixed with my bipolar disease. My life went from "most likely to succeed" to ashes. I'm troubled and feel trapped. I'm scared to trust. It seems I just let down again.

I kinda know the feeling. Yesterday I nearly broke my parents marriage up. I often don't feel like talking because I think I'm just gonna say something to screw things up. I know at times it feels like there is no hope, but there is! I know that sooner or later something good will happen! Something that gives me hope! I don't know if you have tried finding something that really makes you happy, but that was suggested to me. Find something that is just for you. For me its as simple as going to play with puppies or blasting music. I know that sounds kinda girly, but find something that helps you relax and calm down and maybe even puts a smile on your face. I know its easier said than done and I know the easy way out is drugs or alcohol, but it will get better! Plus there are a lot of people here that are more than willing to help you out!