[dragonfly2]

Hey guys -

Not doing well at all the last couple of days. We got hit with a snow and ice storm yesterday. I don't do well when it snows and I really crash when the power goes out. Well, we had both yesterday and I'm really crashing. The power's back on, and was only out for a couple of hours, but I spent last night anxious and feeling like a caged animal. This morning I was ready to take someone's head off and this afternoon I've been in tears and having images of suicide. I hate this. There are times I wonder why we don't move somewhere warmer, but there's the whole "family" thing. Not that any of them are really there for us. I just need to get through winter. Aside from some issues at Christmas, I've actually been doing relatively well this winter....but it was bound to catch up with me eventually.

I don't blame you Dragonfly, that does suck! And to feel trapped in the house, yuck.

Are you still using your light box? I know I love the winter and snow, but it does take it's toll, and I don't know if it's worth it sometimes. You do sound like you've done good this winter, thankfully it's getting lighter out again.

I wish I had better advice, except that you just gotta keep trudging along. Hopefully these feeling won't take on a life of their own this time. And be gentle on yourself, you've done really well.

I just hope this will be a small bump in the road, not a big one.

[moremi]

Im so sorry you are feeling so down. I know these feelings all to well lately. Winter is bad for me. I sure hope you feel better soon.

[RapidFlyer]

I'm sad that you are having such a tough time dragonfly2. Just think soon it will be ground hog day and we will have only a little while til spring. Yahoo.

I have a hard time in winter too. I feel caged in my house, it gets dark at 0 dark 30 and most days are cloudy. So I hang in there by watching for anything that even hints at spring. Today I got my chicken catalogue. that is a spring activity. it helps me remember spring is not far off and I will be able to raise my next batch of chickens.

I hope you feel better soon and that the snow and Ice melt so you can get out around.

[dragonfly2]

Thanks guys.

Anika - no, I haven't used the lightbox all winter. I've done pretty well, despite some difficulty at Christmas. At this point, the days are getting longer and I don't think it's the light, though it's still dark too early for my liking.

I was actually out running errands this morning, getting more and more ticked off at people - ready to scream at the poor checkout guy at the grocery store because he didn't advance the belt soon enough.

Then I came home and went to bed, at like 1 pm. Awful images of death in my head. I got up a little later and just sat by the window, watching the birds at the feeder and crying. Then our next door neighbor started skeet shooting off his back porch. (We all have a good amount of land up here and the houses aren't close together - it was perfectly safe and he does it all the time.) That sound, over and over...it was awful. It doesn't normally bother me, but today was not good.

Granted, snowstorms can make my mood drop, but this was a free-fall, like someone had dropped the floor right out from under me. Snow doesn't normally make me suicidal. They've just been thoughts and images, no urges, so I think I'll be okay. I'll definitely keep an eye on it.

I'm sorry you guys are also struggling with winter. Just a couple more months, right? I hope that groundhog doesn't see his shadow.

[BuggsBunny]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

I just need to get through winter. Aside from some issues at Christmas, I've actually been doing relatively well this winter....but it was bound to catch up with me eventually.

I generally do better in the months where the sun is shining all day, with winter being my hardest times. I can hold it together in November and December by focusing on Christmas and shopping a lot, but as soon as Christmas is over *wham* the winter effects hit me big time. (so do the bills...)

Counting the days till spring does help a bit, and looking for the little signs, like RapidFlyer does. I try and find something a bit bigger to focus on, that rewards me more often. A medium sized craft (or writing, art, etc) project often helps, where I can see the progress day by day. Anything that helps take my focus off the darkness and into the light.

As for this episode, a short term med bump might be needed until spring arrives. The thoughts and images you mention hint at a longer depression, at least for me.
Winter won't last forever, so just keeping hanging on!

[~Christina]

sorry to hear you had a rough day ... this crazy winter isnt helping im so tired of being cold ... Im counting the days til the last freezing cold temp will be ..
((( Hugs )))

I think we should all plan a spring party on the forum .. what ya think? everyone toss out there ideas?

Be kind to yourself

[Rosie23]

I suffer from winter depression also. Yesterday the sun shined for the first time in about 10 days or more. I was doing a happy dance.

Even though the wind was blowing like crazy I went to the park and walked for about an hour. I didn't realize how much I needed that.

[cybermember]

Fall, and more so winter, are not my favorite seasons. The day winter arrives I start counting down the days down to the first day spring is officially here. As of today, spring will be officially here in 51 days but you will see some signs of its arrival even before the actual date.

Being that I spend a lot of time on the computer, my desktop picture and screen saver are set to themes of spring or someplace tropical/warm to get me through the winter season. It may not sound like much but it helps put me in a better frame of mind of not feeling trapped in this current season as I know this season, thankfully, shall too pass.