I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me lately. I thought I was having mood problems, up, down, sleep, no sleep, Anxiety up the wazoo!

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my spirituality,my life, future, whats important to me, and my relationship ( get to that in a minute ). I think I am not having a Bipolar problem maybe after all. I think I am having a "growth" problem. Growing pains, and it's painful. I'm not use to growth being painful, or maybe I forgot. Funny how it could look like Bipolar symptoms flaring. Maybe I am trying to grow in too many directions at once? Really I know this could sound like some sort of manic idea gone awry, but I don't think it is, or is it. Almost feels like I am having some sort of breakdown, spiritual, identity, I don't know what you call it?

Anyone else get this? Does this make any sense, just making sure, cause you know sometimes my judgement cannot be trusted, or so I've been told. Bouncing it off others seemed like a good idea.

Ahh actually I'll save the relationship stuff for the proper forum or wait for bravery to show up.

Edit: I do not think I don't have bipolar, indeed it's obvious I do. I just mean what's happening at the moment.

[BuggsBunny]

I don't know if this will help, or even apply, so take it with a grain of salt. Are you seeing a T right now? Tackling a tough issue?
The reason I ask is that when I was working with my first T, and we would get close to a breakthru, I would be walking around like I was in a fog half the time. Sleep/no sleep. Anxiety. When I did sleep, I sletpwalked (sp?), and would wake up in the hallway or bathroom in my dorm. I used to feel like I was going crazy, and then the issue would surface and we could resolve it. After that, it was back to plain old bipolar.

Now, all that isn't to say you aren't have manic ideas, but more to say that yes, what you suggest is physically possible. And since it used to happen to me, there's a slim chance it's happening to you. But do us both a favor, run this past whomever you see next - pdoc, T, or really trusted person who can tell you yes or no.

[~Christina]

I think it could be possible. When anyone is hit from all sides with the big questions in life it can throw anyone for a loop then add Bipolar on top with a few sprinkles and BAM ingriediants for a mess of sorts ..

Can you try writing it all down and do a pro/ con talk with yourself on whether or not its of upmost importance to focus on that one particular right now... I have done this recently and I found I personally was worried over things I honestly have no control over. I was able to take a few things off my worry to pieces list and it seemed to help " a little"

Dont know if that will help you or not ,,,just an idea.

Just remember most of all ....you have lots of people who love you and thats always something to list on the " whats really important list "

(((((((Hugs)))))))))

[argv]

I've found that finding my own identity and "who I am" is difficult as a general rule. I think that IS a bi-polar thing. If you're like me, your feelings change with your mood. You could have all these plans and things are good one day, then the next day you want to throw everything away and give up.

Good ideas Christina and Buggs,

I do have a t, sort of, but it's basically a relationship where I call her when I am in major crisis with my moods and she helps me work with my pdoc. Conventional? No. However under our system with health care she was only supposed to work with me short term, but it's been six years.

I've been trying to tackle so many things at one time. So I think I do need to break it down. Working on the Ed is at the top ( even if I wish it were at the bottom) the Ed treatment is what got all this rolling. I started yoga because it is supposed to be one of the most helpful treatments for anorexia, the yoga spiraled my interest in spirituality again, the spirituality fed the thoughts about " who am I, am I living congruently with what I believe?" and on and on. I get in my head too much sometimes, I know that. But maybe this is all good, maybe the treatment for my Ed is having a bigger effect than I first thought.

But I am going to try to scale it back a bit or slow down the process a little. I can think about these things but I don't need to tackle them all by tomorrow at noon right? I don't want to upset the balance too much. Thank you guys for your words of insight. I find it difficult to talk to my boyfriend about such things. He would think this is silly and not understand the importance of these things. I think he'd take the " well if it's stressing you, why think about it all" kind of tune.

Thanks for the ears, and sharing.

[~Christina]

I think you have probably figured out whats going on ....

So many times I know I let things ,,all kinds of things ALL start swirling in my head and before i know it I am a complete mess ..

I hope that you are able to focus on just feeling better because thats all that really matters .

My Husband is the same way he just cant understand my need to talk things out or come on here and spill my guts .. oh well it helps ME .. and i figure if it helps me then its eventually helping him since he cant understand what i go thru LOL

(((( HUGS )))))

Funny but after I talked to you guys here about this and gave it more thought, things seem to have smoothed out. I am sleeping, anxiety is gone, I'm not bouncing up and down and I just feel at peace, and happy with it too. I believe it will stay a while.

So for that I am grateful