My sincere apologies..

A couple people were concerned about some earlier (graphic) posts of mine concerning ASPD.

While I've never claimed to actually have that disorder, I was curious because I seem to have some traits of it, and so does my dads side of the family, so it's something I was looking into, and still am, just for curiosity. I figured the best way was to talk with people that had the disorder, ask some questions and get an understanding of it.

I do apologize if something I wrote was triggering or otherwise made you uncomfortable. That was definitely not my intention, I'm just curious mostly.

I hope everyone is having a great day, it's snowing where I live, so I hope it piles up and I don't have to work tomorrow.

thank you.

Snowing? It seems like May here! Flowers up and in bloom and trees just starting to get flowers on them.

it was just a dusting unfortunately.

I think one should only apologize for things they've done with malice in their heart that they've grown to regret. Apologizing for anything else confuses me.

I'll add a personal story here to get my quota up for the day:

Once upon a time, I got upset. I was actually upset, but I didn't do anything wrong. I just told people I was upset. That's it. I apologized for it.

Then I realized, I shouldn't have to apologize for who I am, only what I do.

You didn't do anything wrong, so no need to apologize. You only shared yourself. You weren't out to attack anyone. Besides, I quite enjoyed the thread. There are some people who don't, but that's fair. If the world only wrote down things that never offended anyone, our vocabulary would be limited to whatever dr seuss wrote.

Thats a good take on it, thank you.

Ghandi said it is import to remember we all have our own Hitler inside of us. We have to be constantly aware of the dark side of our human nature. I think it is healthy for you to ask questions about this quality in yourself. You are trying to understand this and become more aware of your behavior. As human beings we all have the potential to be violent and harm others. We can never forget the dark side of our nature we have to learn to be aware of it instead of denying it or repressing it. When we deny it or repress it tragedy occurs. I appreciate your post. It makes me aware of my own darkness.

I agree, however also believe that violence breeds violence. I just wrote a long post in another forum that I deleted before posting it because I said 'whats the point?' I have extremely angry and violent thoughts and I don't choose them, they just come up when I think about certain things.I can't really talk about them because they're pretty scary to most people apparently. So I keep them in. Talking about it doesn't really do much good because it's not something that I can just 'talk through' and feel better. Those thoughts are always there, always have been, and from what I can tell, always will be. I don't think any amount of talking is going to lessen the amazing capacity I have for anger or violence. Unfortunately.