[MellBrown1]

I remember reading that people that believe they are psychic or believe in conspiracies is linked to some sort of disorder (don't remember what it was) If anybody knows what this may be I would love to hear as it has been a bit of a problem.

SO heres the thing, my mind has been so erratic. It's 2am and I have school tomorrow. I am awake as ever and have a million things I want (but don't need) to do. I spent my day watching tonnes of documentaries one after the other barley leaving the room.

I have lost touch with reality, people may think I am insane. (rambling erratic facebook posts, satanic, weird, strong beliefs) But honestly... I don't know who I am, who is this person in the mirror? I don't know at all. I don't know what I want to do with my life, it frequently changes.

I have suicidal thoughts occasionally, and I seem to believe that life has no meaning what-so-ever. There really is no point. I seem to believe that I am being watched over by someone, or that normal people are 'bad' people. I am convinced I can see into peoples souls and see wether they are good people or not. (weird.. right?).

I want to know who I am, what I want. My mind is always annoying me and I want to escape my thoughts and become more in touch with reality. I do have friends, a social life a relatively normal family and life. Although I am surrounded by friends at school I feel so out of place... Like none of this world is mine, like i'm dreaming maybe. SOmetimes I feel like I am stupid, annoying and awkward in social situations.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME... well.. is there something wrong with me? Idk.. I feel like a lot of these things may be linked to something.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by MellBrown1

...

I have suicidal thoughts occasionally, and I seem to believe that life has no meaning what-so-ever. There really is no point. I seem to believe that I am being watched over by someone, or that normal people are 'bad' people. I am convinced I can see into peoples souls and see wether they are good people or not. (weird.. right?).

....

The purpose of life is a fundamental human question. Struggling with it is commendable, and often it is painful.
Seeing into people's souls may seem freaky to many who don't relate to it, but I don't think it is that strange. At times I am particularly sensitive to people around me, and have a very powerful awareness of their integrity, whether they are well meaning and considerate or hard hearted and vindictive beneath a veneer of candy coated politeness. My psychiatrist thinks it is a sign of psychosis, but then she doesn't seem to believe in spiritual perceptiveness.

[moremi]

This sounds very familiar to me. I am at times very socially awdward and I have no reasoning behind it. I always feel as though someone is watching me through my windows at home. I also have a pretty good judge of people. I try not to but if it comes down to me opeining up or not I know if they are trustworthy. Usually not. At one point in a manic state I was very delusional and felt that God gave me the power to feel what others around me were feeling just by looking at them and wanting to. It was a great feeling and it really seemed real. I was told it wasnt but you never know what we can or cant tune into when we are that way.

[MellBrown1]

Originally Posted by moremi

This sounds very familiar to me. I am at times very socially awdward and I have no reasoning behind it. I always feel as though someone is watching me through my windows at home. I also have a pretty good judge of people. I try not to but if it comes down to me opeining up or not I know if they are trustworthy. Usually not. At one point in a manic state I was very delusional and felt that God gave me the power to feel what others around me were feeling just by looking at them and wanting to. It was a great feeling and it really seemed real. I was told it wasnt but you never know what we can or cant tune into when we are that way.

Interesting ! exactly the same with the window thing, I can't stay in my bedroom without the curtains shut or I will believe something is watching me. I wouldn't dare going to sleep with it opened. I also have this thing where if I am n a room I feel weird if the door is not shut, even if it is not my place.
Same with opening up, it takes a lot for me to open up! only one person actually. Usually if I accidentally tell something to private to someone I don't know if I trust I always really regret it.