[BNLsMOM]

I came out of a severe depression in February with the help of a thyroid medication. I have had a run of good stability, for the longest time since I was diagnosed, and have started to process everything with my T.

I was taken off my antipsychotic med during my episode because it didn't agree with me. (I have tried several and they all have the same result, helping with symptoms, but giving me so many side effects that I have to go off.)

Now I am noticing some of my symptoms are coming back. They are obsessive thoughts about hurting myself and having car crashes, wishing I was in the back of an ambulance when I see one drive by, pretending that my favorite mental health counselor from the hospital is doing a bed check. I see my pdoc on Tuesday and I am afraid that she will put me back on an antipsychotic if I tell her what is going on. Physically, I feel great without the antipsychotic. I don't want to go back to feeling terrible all the time because of side effects, and I don't want to go to the hospital because of thoughts and images getting too strong for me to handle.

It is so frustrating. Any thoughts?

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by BNLsMOM

I came out of a severe depression in February with the help of a thyroid medication. I have had a run of good stability, for the longest time since I was diagnosed, and have started to process everything with my T.

I was taken off my antipsychotic med during my episode because it didn't agree with me. (I have tried several and they all have the same result, helping with symptoms, but giving me so many side effects that I have to go off.)

Now I am noticing some of my symptoms are coming back. They are obsessive thoughts about hurting myself and having car crashes, wishing I was in the back of an ambulance when I see one drive by, pretending that my favorite mental health counselor from the hospital is doing a bed check. I see my pdoc on Tuesday and I am afraid that she will put me back on an antipsychotic if I tell her what is going on. Physically, I feel great without the antipsychotic. I don't want to go back to feeling terrible all the time because of side effects, and I don't want to go to the hospital because of thoughts and images getting too strong for me to handle.

It is so frustrating. Any thoughts?

I have had similar problems. The thoughts of car crashes are daily for me. I pick out trees when driving. What helps me are my meds and therapy. Besides thyroid medication, I take wellbutrin, tamictal, and klonopin. I also go to therapy every other week. My t validated my need for the suicide fantasies by letting me know that she doesn't consider me a threat for the actual act. This made me feel better.
Bluemountains

[cocoabeans]

Do what I do: don't tell your doctor about your issues unless you want them medicated! Or if you're not sure but know you don't want a certain med or dosage: talk about it and don't agree to go on an antipsychotic or agree to a lower dosage than your doctor suggests.

[mokie]

Are there any other meds to help with the side effects. May be worth the try to find out and not have all those symptoms going on and end up in the hospital.

[dragonfly2]

Something to remember about thoughts....

1. A thought is just a thought.
2. We are not our thoughts.
3. We don't have to act on our thoughts.
4. Any thought will eventually pass.

This helps me get through the dark thoughts sometimes.

[Anneinside]

I don't know what side effects you have but Abilify really helped with my depression. The problem was it caused akathisia and I had a really hard time with it. Actually wore out a pair of pants every 4 weeks from rubbing my legs across each other... Finally after several decreases and then increases she added propranolol, a beta blocker, and it stopped the akathisia! As an extra effect, it also reduced anxiety. What kind of side effects are you having? If the antipsychotic really worked for you would you be willing to take a second drug to deal with the side effects?

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by Anneinside

I don't know what side effects you have but Abilify really helped with my depression. The problem was it caused akathisia and I had a really hard time with it. Actually wore out a pair of pants every 4 weeks from rubbing my legs across each other... Finally after several decreases and then increases she added propranolol, a beta blocker, and it stopped the akathisia! As an extra effect, it also reduced anxiety. What kind of side effects are you having? If the antipsychotic really worked for you would you be willing to take a second drug to deal with the side effects?

The main side effect of most of them was a high prolactin level. My periods stopped and my pdoc recognized that it is unhealthy to miss periods for a long time as it increases the risk of osteoporosis. I don't think there is a med for that.

The other effects were things that probably could have been controlled with dose changes, but the prolactin level was very concerning for my pdoc.

Abilify, specifically made me irritable and angry and sent me into a mixed episode, and it also made me extremely nauseous.

I have been on Abilify, Seroquel, Invega, Saphris, Risperdol and maybe a couple of others, but I can't remember.

[BuggsBunny]

Have you tried Lamictal yet? It seems to be a pretty popular one right now. I can't speak to side effects.

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by BuggsBunny

Have you tried Lamictal yet? It seems to be a pretty popular one right now. I can't speak to side effects.

I did try Lamictal as a mood stabilizer. Twice, actually. Both times, I had flu like symptoms and my pdoc was afraid that it was an intolerance or maybe even an allergy.

[moremi]

Abilify has worked great for me to. Pulled me right out of depression. I do have the akthasia (sp?) It seems to be bringing out the ocd a bit but I can deal with it. I feel great. Went manic for awhile but feeling just fine now that I have slept no drop into depression.