[hamster-bamster]

I have lately been very bitter about having been dealt this unlucky and rare card. Envying other people. Any advice on how to turn this bitterness into something positive?

[LiteraryLark]

I was about to start sobbing last night when I realized that I am going to spend my whole life fighting this illness, but then I stopped and started laughing when I realize that bipolar's gonna be the one running when I'm through with it...BP's got NOTHING on me!

I am the Chuck Norris/warrior princess of BP.

[venusss]

I maybe 1% with this quirk. But then again... when looking at it globally, coming from first world country, having place to stay and running water and food to eat... it can't really be that bad. With being secure objectivelly.... we do, indeed, have power over our lifes.

For me this perspective helps. I am not as powerless as I sometimes feel. I do have choices.

[LiteraryLark]

It's all about perspective, you can let it rule you, or you can tell it who's calling the shots around here.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I maybe 1% with this quirk. But then again... when looking at it globally, coming from first world country, having place to stay and running water and food to eat... it can't really be that bad. With being secure objectivelly.... we do, indeed, have power over our lifes.

For me this perspective helps. I am not as powerless as I sometimes feel. I do have choices.

I am not in that place. I worry about getting disability in the first place, and if I get it, about relocating to where I can survive on $1400 a month. That very well might mean outside of the first world country. And I find myself in that place due to history of untreated disease. So no, the comparison does not help me.

[Resident Bipolar]

Yay. I'm nearly 18 and am unemployable, and mum's running out of money.

There may be people worse off in terms of poverty. But I don't know how long it's going to be until I'm homeless.

I see my dead nan during every manic episode, along with my ex best mate. and i get paranoid about the government and my best mate.

And I have a condition that will control me for the rest of my life.

Where the hell are the positives in that?

[hamster-bamster]

Resident Bipolar, very glad to see you back.

[Resident Bipolar]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Resident Bipolar, very glad to see you back.

Sorry for the previous post.
Not sure if I'm manic or what the hell is going on. But I've gone from extremely happy, to extremely paranoid and frightened, and now to extremely angry. I just feel like throwing glasses at the wall.

Hi though XD
RB ♥

[dragonfly2]

There was a recent article in a bipolar magazine that addressed this. Here's a link to an excerpt of it:

http://bphope.com/Item.aspx/915/accentuate-the-positive

I, too, am on disability, so I won't go off spouting platitudes about how fabulous it is to be bipolar... ... but imagine a world without the creative side of our illness, without the inventions, without the inspiration that mania, in its milder forms, can bring. And even the depressions have their merit, though it is harder to believe when we're in the middle of one.

None of us asked for this, and yes, some days it really sucks. But like others have said, it doesn't need to have complete control. We are able to manage it to some degree and need to focus on the days when we feel well and remember these days on the days when we're sidelined.

[Resident Bipolar]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

There was a recent article in a bipolar magazine that addressed this. Here's a link to an excerpt of it:

http://bphope.com/Item.aspx/915/accentuate-the-positive

I, too, am on disability, so I won't go off spouting platitudes about how fabulous it is to be bipolar... ... but imagine a world without the creative side of our illness, without the inventions, without the inspiration that mania, in its milder forms, can bring. And even the depressions have their merit, though it is harder to believe when we're in the middle of one.

None of us asked for this, and yes, some days it really sucks. But like others have said, it doesn't need to have complete control. We are able to manage it to some degree and need to focus on the days when we feel well and remember these days on the days when we're sidelined.

My mania used to create a lot of good ideas, and I at one point had a business at the age of 15 (it went bankrupt when I spent £6000 in 3 days during a severe manic episode and subsequently a section). But. These days...my mania only consists of rage; paranoia; hallucinations; irritability and a constantly changing mood.

I get disability. £60 a week. That's not going to cover a flat or an apartment. Or bills. Or anything really.

Sorry for negativity. I'm just horrible right now XD

RB ♥

[hamster-bamster]

stronger qualities of empathy, realism, creativity and resilience mentioned in this article - I just do not have them that much, especially empathy and resilience. I need resilience, and instead I revert to the suicidal ideation.

[~Christina]

Well .. Im down right Pissy about being Bipolar .. I find none of it nice fun or enjoyable .. I dont get Happy I love the world and everything is happy fluffy spending sprees ,, I get the angry , irrability inability to deal with people on any level..

I am damn pissed at having this !

Sorry for the neagative post but today between Bipolar and my Fibro I really hate the world in general.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I am not in that place. I worry about getting disability in the first place, and if I get it, about relocating to where I can survive on $1400 a month. That very well might mean outside of the first world country. And I find myself in that place due to history of untreated disease. So no, the comparison does not help me.

Hi hamster-bamster,
I'm thinking that you should be able to find some place cheaper than Northern CA to live. Here in North Carolina I think I could make it on $1400 if I lived very frugally. Where I lived in Virginia was even cheaper than where I am now. Are there any cheap places on the west coast? When I looked at the house prices near San Francisco I couldn't believe the prices!
Bluemountains

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

Hi hamster-bamster,
I'm thinking that you should be able to find some place cheaper than Northern CA to live. Here in North Carolina I think I could make it on $1400 if I lived very frugally. Where I lived in Virginia was even cheaper than where I am now. Are there any cheap places on the west coast? When I looked at the house prices near San Francisco I couldn't believe the prices!
Bluemountains

Thanks Bluemountains, that is really good to know! I have found this incredibly cheap rent place in Texas - http://mcallen.craigslist.org/apa/ - but it has tropical climate which I cannot stand. Virginia sounds so much better.

I'm on disability too. I get less than 1400$ a month and I have three children. Money tight. Oh ya!!!! I've learnt how to be really frugal and creative. You might want to look into low income housing too, if you are renting. Rent alone eats up so much of a persons income.

It's doable tho, there are tons of good websites geared towards living on the cheap.

[grandmaof3]

I think Virgina is nice, I moved here from Maryland for economic reasons about 14 years ago. Its a small town in the mountains and apartments go for about $300/month and decent houses around $400. The only drawback is the nearest mall is an hour away, which I guess is kind of good in that its not that easy to run to the mall and spend !

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Anika

I'm on disability too. I get less than 1400$ a month and I have three children. Money tight. Oh ya!!!! I've learnt how to be really frugal and creative. You might want to look into low income housing too, if you are renting. Rent alone eats up so much of a persons income.

It's doable tho, there are tons of good websites geared towards living on the cheap.

Thanks Anika, I will ask for them when the time comes. I am now receiving california state disability insurance which allows me to stay where I rent, but that will run out in December. I will apply to more permanent (SSDI) in June and then it will take from 6 months to a couple of years during which I might need to live off credit cards. As soon as California disability insurance runs out, I can move to a cheaper state. And that is probably for the better because here everything reminds me of the missteps I took. There will be a clean slate. Right?

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I have lately been very bitter about having been dealt this unlucky and rare card. Envying other people. Any advice on how to turn this bitterness into something positive?

I try to remember that there are worse diseases out there. I have seen plenty of people dying agonizing deaths from cancers, ALS, pulmonary fibrosis, etc. Just a couple days ago I saw a young mother in the hospital who had an inoperable brain tumor. She could barely speak. She was crying, but she couldn't even feel the tears on her face, because the nerves to her face are compressed by the tumor so she has no sensation on her face anymore.

Seeing stuff like that makes me feel really lucky that I 'only' have bipolar/mental illness. It helps put things into perspective, you know? We are unlucky compared to most people, but very lucky compared to some. Mental illness does not kill you or shorten your life span unless you commit suicide, and suicide is something you can prevent with the right treatment and support sysem. But there are some diseases (like ALS) where an untimely death is inevitable, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it or delay it.

I think volunteering with terminally ill patients (for example, with a hospice) will help you put your own illness into perspective as well. Some days, I wallow in self-pity. But most days, I just feel lucky that I'm alive and not terminally ill.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Thanks Bluemountains, that is really good to know! I have found this incredibly cheap rent place in Texas - http://mcallen.craigslist.org/apa/ - but it has tropical climate which I cannot stand. Virginia sounds so much better.

If you like a mid-sized city with mountains, check out these in/near Roanoke, VA. There are more rural places that are even cheaper in other areas. I may be biased, as you can guess from my avatar, but there is not a better place than being in or near the mountains.

http://roanoke.craigslist.org/apa/

Bluemountains

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Resident Bipolar

My mania used to create a lot of good ideas, and I at one point had a business at the age of 15 (it went bankrupt when I spent £6000 in 3 days during a severe manic episode and subsequently a section). But. These days...my mania only consists of rage; paranoia; hallucinations; irritability and a constantly changing mood.

I get disability. £60 a week. That's not going to cover a flat or an apartment. Or bills. Or anything really.

Sorry for negativity. I'm just horrible right now XD

RB ♥

You are bad off right now. But you are young. You still have a shot at life.

It is not a death sentense. It can get better. You learn to manage it better and control it to great degree. There are many things that can help. Whatever works for you... there ain't one way.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I am not in that place. I worry about getting disability in the first place, and if I get it, about relocating to where I can survive on $1400 a month. That very well might mean outside of the first world country. And I find myself in that place due to history of untreated disease. So no, the comparison does not help me.

hmmm, my country is a first world country, and 1400 is average income, which too many will never reach.... hmmm... yes, there are places in the USA where you can make it with this, and you will still be well off... and yes, secure. I would not recommend moving out of first world... unless one is prepared to have their world-view shaken. It might be a good experience, but living in bad place is not a way to save money...

I just think you are being overly negative at the moment... it is alright to feel that for a bit, but not to dwell in it. **** happens, and one has to deal with somehow. It's okay to feel bitter and down about it, but it will not solve anything. One needs to mourn for a bit and then go and live.

This is meant to be encouraging... as I do believe we humans are hella resielent species.

[bluematador]

Originally Posted by Resident Bipolar

Yay. I'm nearly 18 and am unemployable, and mum's running out of money.

There may be people worse off in terms of poverty. But I don't know how long it's going to be until I'm homeless.

I see my dead nan during every manic episode, along with my ex best mate. and i get paranoid about the government and my best mate.

And I have a condition that will control me for the rest of my life.

Where the hell are the positives in that?

I am a student of psychology. Psychiatry and psychology are theoretically based sciences. The brain is still a great mystery. There are no evidence based tests that can prove the biological model of mental illness. There have been many breakthroughs in neuroscience and the discovery of neuroplasticity. There is hard evidence that the brain can rewire itself and heal itself. This has wide implications in the field of psychology and psychiatry. They are forced to reconsider the fact that mental illness is a lifelong condition. There are numerous recovery stories out there. Neurogenisis is not something that just passively occurs. It is something we can stimulate using various techniques to rewire our brains and heal. I am focusing on this in my research. I think it can be devastating to learn you have a disease of the brain and you are going to have to live with it your entire life. It helps me to keep in mind that those in positions of authority making this diagnosis are basing their diagnosis on a theory. They have no empirical evidence to base their claims on.

[Trippin2.0]

Ok, listen up folks who are lucky enough, yes I said lucky, to get disability... Please read further before labelling me a total biatch.
.
There is N0 way a dr would render me disabled, I've been out of work for 13 months now. They say our job market is skeletal and my credit record counts against me (manic debt) . My dad never had life insurance, he left my mom with a HUGE amount of debt as he wasn't paying the rates and utilities regularly. We live off of my mom's PENSION, pension in SA is PEANUTS, it's like just over $100! And food is M0RE expensive in the poorer areas. Why? Idk, maybe our govt wants to keep the poor poor. I have N0 internet, God has intervened to keep me sane, and my cellphone connects even tho it shouldn't (so if I suddenly dissapear, it just means my network discovered me)
.
My sister tries to buy groceries once a month, but even so, there is atleast 1 week, sometimes 2, where we are living off of handouts from neighbours, or borrowing money that my mom's pension has to pay for. Most nights I have supper at my friends house cos I feel guilty about being a healthy 27y.o deadweight. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TONIGHT'S SUPPER CAME FROM, the cupboards are bare, but my mom is cooking. It won't be anything spectacular, but our bellies will be full.
.
My 8y.o daughter has had to adjust dramatically over the last 6 months, she asked me 'are we poor now?' i said no. We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our back and food in our bellies. Money will make a comeback in our lives...
.
No, I'm not having a pity party of my own, I would rather you guys didn't know any of this, but i'm trying to put things in perspective for those who think disability is the proverbial end of the world.
.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by bluematador

I am a student of psychology. Psychiatry and psychology are theoretically based sciences. The brain is still a great mystery. There are no evidence based tests that can prove the biological model of mental illness. There have been many breakthroughs in neuroscience and the discovery of neuroplasticity. There is hard evidence that the brain can rewire itself and heal itself. This has wide implications in the field of psychology and psychiatry. They are forced to reconsider the fact that mental illness is a lifelong condition. There are numerous recovery stories out there. Neurogenisis is not something that just passively occurs. It is something we can stimulate using various techniques to rewire our brains and heal. I am focusing on this in my research. I think it can be devastating to learn you have a disease of the brain and you are going to have to live with it your entire life. It helps me to keep in mind that those in positions of authority making this diagnosis are basing their diagnosis on a theory. They have no empirical evidence to base their claims on.

This is fascinating. I do believe it is "so" and I wish this was more of focus.

Yeah, this is not given. Just because one has a condition does not mean they are gonna be a flaming mess their whole life. I think the whole "we cannot control it, we can't, we can't, we just cain't" mantra spouted at some MH communities does more evil than good. Do we have absolute control? Not. But we are not at mercy of our condition. We can get through bad times, unless we give up.

The only thing I want to say about money amounts pertaining to disability that's being discussed in this thread, is that none of us are comparable. We all live in different countries, or areas, different costs of living. When I saw that you could get a house for 300-400 rent a month in Virgina for example, I was like wha?? A bachelor suit in the worst area of town where I live is 750-900 $. Food costs will be different for us all, and medical. We really can't compare by amount of money alone.