[catrules]

I recently had a visit with my parents, and it is hard going home because my father is a mess. I think he is dealing with mental health issues that are undiagnosed. I find myself getting angry with him, then feeling bad because I was there once and know how bad it made me feel when people were mad at me over something that I could not control. The frustrating thing is that he knows that he needs help but will not go to anyone. He considers himself to be an important person in the town, and worries that others will find out.

I'm really trying to remember how it felt before I was diagnosed and medicated, so that I can have more empathy for him. But it is so tough.

[BipolarBug]

I can relate to this. I have 2 parents who are undiagnosed and would never admit they needed help in order to go see someone. Every once in a while, I get reminded that I need to remember how I was before and give them some empathy, but it is so hard sometimes.

[beauflow]

I find it is hard due to:::
1) Catrules, BipolarBug, myself and so many others-- Realized something is not quiet right, and went to try to get some help or currently in help..

And 2) just personally At least in my case - Both of my parents, and a sibling, refuse to get help and neither one of my parents will acknowledge they may need help-- "To need help is a weakness, to get help is a failure in their eyes"... It is hard for me to find full empathy in such a thinking pattern; especially after they have lived twice as long as I have and have seen results from their actions and ways.. I may not be in therapy right now, but I tried it, and I continue to take what I can from readings and mind sets. I still am flawed but I am trying...

it is hard to have full empathy when people don't try.. It is more of annoyance with me when they realize and say "I want help" but refuse to stop things in their life style to make a change. just saying... perhaps I am too harsh at times.

But if I think of it in angles sometimes, -- I can find empathy- It took me years to find empathy for my mother, but yet I have... doesn't mean that we talk, or what not, or that always have empathy for her for what she does when I hear from my sisters, but understanding a part of her side helps with a little empathy.

Sorry for the ramble, and sorry for the struggle- it is one that is torture some times. be well and I hope you find peace.

[Irreplaceable]

I understand...I got my illness from my dad, who, doesn't take his meds...And since he doesn't take his meds, there is hell to pay for anyone around him...Which, is why I have distanced myself from him recently. BUT, I'm trying to get to the place where I forgive the things that he has done because a lot of the things that he does, he can't help it...I know what you mean though. He is your father and you love him, but at times it's difficult to be around him. Just urge him to go get help and keep bringing it up...

[SmokeyPoole2012]

I can relate to your situation as well. My mother (who wasn't dx) suffered terribly from depression and from what I can remember had her bouts of manic episodes. I feel bad now because of the way I treated her. I didn't understand what she was going through until I had accepted that I have problems similar to hers. And now that I'm a father with 2 children trying to live with BP I see the whole spectrum.

Far too many years have past before I finally accepted my condition. It was because of my children’s insistence that I get treatment that I did. I understand the frustration your feeling toward your parent and quite honestly I feel you have every right to feel the way you do. It's not the responsibility of the child to care for the parent however I do think there is something you can do about the situation. My son told me that if his son ever had the nerve to tell him he had a mental issue then he would care enough for his son to seek help.

[catrules]

I did write him a letter before I left the last time. He wrote back and basically said thanks but no thanks. He looks at me like I have given up, and avoids me as much as possible.