[Miss Laura]

Hey guys,

Could really do with some good advice and maybe even a hug.

I am really not feeling the greatest. I am moody, depressed, angry. I have been stupid and really hurt myself. All I have done this week is cry. I just can't stop crying.

I saw my Support Worker today and I told him about the depression. While telling him I started to cry WTF!!! I can't believe I cried in front of him. I feel like such an idiot. He had just said how well I was doing last week too. I don't get it. We talked about work and I said I don't think I am ready for it just yet and he said I am capable of working in time. I just need to get over this wee spell. He said I have done it before and I will do it again.

I know I can get over this but I am tired of getting over it.

I have masked it all and no-one knows bar him about my depression. I live with the folks and they don't know either. My Mum actually said the other day my depression is just selffishness. Why should I bother anymore. I put my "happy" face on for the sake of it. My Support Worker said I am strong and that is why I hide it all...... but it soon comes to surface which is true.

I have had slight sui notions and hurt myself. I just want it to end now so I can be better again. I was doing really well. I am still taking my meds been on them for 3 months solid. World record for me.

I really could do with talking to someone and I thought this was going to happen tonight. My friend and I were meant to be out for dinner. She never returned my text. So meal for 1 again. Have the house to myself for another hour. Been on my own since 1130am and its now 7pm. Minus 2 hours for Support Worker.

Is it ok to cry? I feel like a complete idiot as what do I have to cry about?

[Chihuahua]

Cry all you want!!! It is soooo allowed. I've been struggling with irritability and anger too. I am currently working and it's actually helping me beat the depression.I feel useful at work and appreciated.

Keep up with the meds and remember that you are NOT alone!!!

Sending you 10 hugs ( I still don't know where to find the smileys )

[Miss Laura]

Thanks Chihuahua....

I just hate feeling so down. My Support Worker asked if I had made a plan which I haven't so I am glad at that.

I haven't been in work for nearly a year (9th May) I was sacked due to ill health and its been one hell of a year. Feel like its been forever. I am hoping to volunteer as a youthworker. But just waiting for an interview.

SW has said I am doing good and have been doing good. Said when all the SW's get together and discuss the service user's he says they all say I am nearly ready to work. He said I am allowed dips like this.

SW also has BP. So he can sympathise with me. He was really good with me today. I feel like an idiot for crying. I just can't handle my emotions at the moment

Thanks for the hugs