[Living Well]

Hi and Thank you for being here,

My questions are:

Does anyone else here have bp2 with 80% depression or more? (I also have ptsd which kicks my depression up a bit).

Does anyone have faulty metabolic pathways in their liver which means they can't metabolise many much needed medication? (Because of that, I also get delirium from the resulting brain toxicity).

I hope to settle in well.

Cheers,

Jade

[cocoabeans]

Not me, I used to think I was mostly depressed but found out otherwise when I stopped being depressed. Most of the time I'm content. No PTSD. I've had a rather untraumatic life aside from bipolar disorder and the crap that comes about with it.

Not me on the liver issue, that is upsetting.

Hello to you! Welcome or some such greetings.

[Living Well]

Well I'm kinda glad you don't have the same... it's great you got over your depression. Well done cocoa

[NikkiLLL]

Hi & welcome! i'm sure you'll like it here.
i haven't been diagnosed (yet) but i can safely say that depression is a big part of my life. i can barely function sometimes. but no ptsd or metabolic problem ( that i know of). i hope that wouldn't be a big problem for your treatment though. Good luck

[ggtina]

Depression play's a big role in my life. Almost to the point were I don't function on a daily basis because of it. It's going to get better though! I just feel it. (Diagnosed with Bipolar 2 today) So hoping a meds adjustment will get me back to feeling normal.

I have a liver issue also but not in the sense you do mine is caused from a Genetic Disorder and all around things **** with it. Don't really understand it much but it has a lot to do with me being over weight and my body not digesting food's like normal people. So the best thing for me is to avoid this list of food a doctor gave me and as far as med's go there is a much longer list. In some cases eating food and taking meds I shouldn't be taking happens. I don't feel any immediate side effects but it does cause damage to my liver. Thank god the liver is a very forgiving organ.

[BlackPup]

Welcome to PC. I have mainly depression too. But no PTSD. I am missing some enzymes which metabolise some medications so I can't take them but I can take others so that's ok. Hope you can find some meds that u can take. Lithium is excreted renally (through the kidneys) so maybe you can take that. Good luck, I hope you and your doctor can figure out the right meds for u.

[Living Well]

Hi All,

Wow Pup, I just saw your posts tally. You must be part of the furniture here . And you are an Aussie! Yay, I'm a Brisvagan. Re: Lithium, I max out on that on 375mg. Any more than that, and I get delirious. My kidneys, it seems, aren't working all that well either. I have to take a little bit of 8 different meds that use different pathways from each other.

Nikki, I hope you are diagnosed soon so you can get effective treatment. I imagine it will transform your life, and it's something to look forward to?

Tina, I was dx'd with BPD before BP2. I still have BPD features but not the dx. I am so impressed with how you are taking the news of your new dx. BP2 is managable. We just have to keep plugging away at it. I wish you all the best with your med trials for BP2 x

[mommyof2girls]

Welcome.....

[SmokeyPoole2012]

Welcome Living Well hope you get as much out of this forum as I do. It's a very welcoming place full of people who can understand the bipolar mind.

I have a bipolar condition that has symptoms of depression most of the time. Very sorry to hear about your liver problems, actually the first I've ever heard of this sounds awful.

See you in the future.

Welcome to PC.

I have bipolar 1, but I still get plenty of depressive episodes. I don't have a liver problem, and I am sorry to hear that. I do have a metabolic problem with meds stemming from
years of anorexia. Making the meds pretty ineffective. But I have learned other ways to cope. I also am dx with PTSD.

I hope you can find some solutions!

[Living Well]

Originally Posted by Anika

Welcome to PC.

I have bipolar 1, but I still get plenty of depressive episodes. I don't have a liver problem, and I am sorry to hear that. I do have a metabolic problem with meds stemming from
years of anorexia. Making the meds pretty ineffective. But I have learned other ways to cope. I also am dx with PTSD.

I hope you can find some solutions!

Hi Anika, would you mind sharing with me some coping tips?... I'm always open to new ideas.

Just a hunch, but if you have a metabolic problem with meds, wouldn't that indicate that the anorexia may have damaged your liver/kidneys? Only lithium is metabolised via the kidneys. I have trouble with that too. How about you?

How do you go preventing the PTSD kicking off the bipolar? I take Seroquel when I feel the adrenalin rush and I take valium to help suppress the night terrors when they are really bad. We all have different symptoms and different ways of dealing with them.

Thank you to everyone for there replies and warm welcome. I appreciate it.

Jade

[ggtina]

The diagnosis was a long thing coming ... Over the last year I have been having discussion with my Tdoc that my diagnosis of BPD was possibly wrong or they should at least consider that I a may have a duel diagnosis of BPD and Cyclothymia. Cyclothymia was the only thing that made any sense to me. The characteristics fit me to a T. The BPD they say stems from my up-bringing being molested as a young child (ages 8-12) I just turned 28 years old and have been in therapy since I was around 11. Diagnosed with BPD at 21 and said basically f'it. Got kicked out of the Navy for having BPD. Went to one appointment when I got out and never went back. Just in the last 1.5 year's my life has become quite un-manageable with the mood swings, severe happiness, depression, being ok at some moments but at the drop of the hat I wasn't. I was having mood swings daily. The Abilify has helped so much with the mood swings I have experienced on a daily basis. My PDOC wants to continue upping the dosage till it's more treating the whole issue ... I believe the manic side and there's no way to really tell unless it happens again which sucks. I'm overall just in a bad funk right now .............

Ok let me get back on topic I think I am veering off.

I think I am handling it well because I'm so sick of being told that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Sick of the arguments, sick of justifying why I don't have it to the emergency room doctor's. (Twice in the last 12 months). They want to justify the BPD because of the above child hood trauma which I don't suffer from/or have flash backs from.

My new Pdoc = Amazing ... we have gone over everything. She know's about the child hood trauma, that I'm a product of rape, that my mom's dad committed suicide before I was born. The whole 9 yards. There is some serious mental illness in my family. Bio Dad unknown and my mom's father's in unknown. I just happen to be the oddball who recognizes there is something wrong and am sick of feeling the way I do. I want to someday get married again and have kid's but right now I am so not ready for that. My life is just chaotic. I am living back home with my mother and teenage sister. Just got out of a rehab facility a few months ago. Lost my dog's, there back with my soon to be ex-husband thank god Once our divorce is finalized the dogs will hopefully be back with me if I am standing on my own 2 feet then. I don't have a job, a car, I'm collecting food stamps cannot qualify for well fare as my soon to be ex-husband is supposedly sending me alimony each month but he is always late. He still owes me 50 from last month and 300 for this month. My thought's are constantly racing. I just want things to get better they have to. If they get worse then they are right now. I will be homeless, not able to pay my storage unit bill and have no relationship with my mother.

My only other option which really isn't an option well maybe it is ... is trying to file for disability through the va and/or ssi till I can figure things out. VA would be for life. SSI i'm not sure how that works. My pdoc would prefer me working so it might be hard but possible. I think you can work part time while on SSI?

Sorry I am rambling ... for the most part I have a very positive attitude about this getting better but as you can probably tell my mind is all over the place.

I dont mind sharing at all. Mind you I sometimes venture off the beaten track. I do yoga, I do bikram at a studio and other types at home as well. I practice meditation, and mindful meditation. Even tho I deal with anorexia still I take my vitamins, and nutrients. I am still working on eating healthier and sufficient calories. When I am depressed I focus on things like "the secret" even if it sounds silly, it gets me focused on living instead of dying. I am always looking for ways to keep my perspective and outlook healthy.

My therapist once said to me, you know if you are not congruent you won't be fulfilled. If you look at my signature quote you will see the same idea. So I strive for that. I also use my spirituality as a tool for wellness. I work on it and expand it, try to implement it into my everyday life, which can be hard because I don't subscribe to any on religion. But I find peace in that.

All in all I think managing bipolar is caring for our whole being. I have found the best results when I use that approach. It's one our medical approach overlooks somewhat.

I do take lithium. I have taken it for seven years, I don't find a lot of relief from it. I get my liver and kidneys checked because of my meds. Everything looks good on paper. My doctor and dietician explained to me that because of my chronic malnutrition and starvation I have messed up my metabolism and hormones pretty good. So just like I don't metabolize food properly it goes the same for medication. I will either metabolize it much to fast or usually much to slow, because my body thinks it is constantly in starvation mode, which well it true. I'm not sure exactly how this all works, I'm no doctor that's for sure.

I grew up having night terrors, ouch I'm sorry to hear you are going through those as well. Mine have gradually decreases quite a bit. My PTSD symptoms have decreased big time, I did do therapy, not a lot mind you, but I put a lot of effort into the work. I worked through most of my issues, it was painful but worth it. I still have lingering symptoms tho. I really had to know that I am safe now and believe it. When I get anxious or triggered I slow myself down and remind myself exactly what and why it's happening.

Like with anxiety and panic, you're reptilian brain is kicking in sending you into fight or flight, chemicals are being released rapidly, I find the sooner I can interrupt the thoughts the quicker it ends. I remind myself of exactly what is happening, I used to have panic attacks that came out in the form of choking ( due to abuse ). Once I started to realize exactly why and how this was happening, I could stop the choking much sooner, also using deep breathing.

Ok sorry. I'm writing a book here now. I will post back to you with a few links tho, hopefully something might speak to you.

[Living Well]

Originally Posted by ggtina

The diagnosis was a long thing coming ... Over the last year I have been having discussion with my Tdoc that my diagnosis of BPD was possibly wrong or they should at least consider that I a may have a duel diagnosis of BPD and Cyclothymia. Cyclothymia was the only thing that made any sense to me. The characteristics fit me to a T. The BPD they say stems from my up-bringing being molested as a young child (ages 8-12) I just turned 28 years old and have been in therapy since I was around 11. Diagnosed with BPD at 21 and said basically f'it. Got kicked out of the Navy for having BPD. Went to one appointment when I got out and never went back. Just in the last 1.5 year's my life has become quite un-manageable with the mood swings, severe happiness, depression, being ok at some moments but at the drop of the hat I wasn't. I was having mood swings daily. The Abilify has helped so much with the mood swings I have experienced on a daily basis. My PDOC wants to continue upping the dosage till it's more treating the whole issue ... I believe the manic side and there's no way to really tell unless it happens again which sucks. I'm overall just in a bad funk right now .............

Ok let me get back on topic I think I am veering off.

I think I am handling it well because I'm so sick of being told that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Sick of the arguments, sick of justifying why I don't have it to the emergency room doctor's. (Twice in the last 12 months). They want to justify the BPD because of the above child hood trauma which I don't suffer from/or have flash backs from.

My new Pdoc = Amazing ... we have gone over everything. She know's about the child hood trauma, that I'm a product of rape, that my mom's dad committed suicide before I was born. The whole 9 yards. There is some serious mental illness in my family. Bio Dad unknown and my mom's father's in unknown. I just happen to be the oddball who recognizes there is something wrong and am sick of feeling the way I do. I want to someday get married again and have kid's but right now I am so not ready for that. My life is just chaotic. I am living back home with my mother and teenage sister. Just got out of a rehab facility a few months ago. Lost my dog's, there back with my soon to be ex-husband thank god Once our divorce is finalized the dogs will hopefully be back with me if I am standing on my own 2 feet then. I don't have a job, a car, I'm collecting food stamps cannot qualify for well fare as my soon to be ex-husband is supposedly sending me alimony each month but he is always late. He still owes me 50 from last month and 300 for this month. My thought's are constantly racing. I just want things to get better they have to. If they get worse then they are right now. I will be homeless, not able to pay my storage unit bill and have no relationship with my mother.

My only other option which really isn't an option well maybe it is ... is trying to file for disability through the va and/or ssi till I can figure things out. VA would be for life. SSI i'm not sure how that works. My pdoc would prefer me working so it might be hard but possible. I think you can work part time while on SSI?

Sorry I am rambling ... for the most part I have a very positive attitude about this getting better but as you can probably tell my mind is all over the place.

yeah I get where you are coming from tina. Even writing it out like that I think helps us all get our heads around what we are working with and what our plan of action is. Sounds like you are clarifying a lot and that is fantastic... one day at a time, two steps forward, one step back, you will get there. That is the nature of long term change. Best of luck

[Living Well]

Originally Posted by Anika

I dont mind sharing at all. Mind you I sometimes venture off the beaten track. I do yoga, I do bikram at a studio and other types at home as well. I practice meditation, and mindful meditation. Even tho I deal with anorexia still I take my vitamins, and nutrients. I am still working on eating healthier and sufficient calories. When I am depressed I focus on things like "the secret" even if it sounds silly, it gets me focused on living instead of dying. I am always looking for ways to keep my perspective and outlook healthy.

My therapist once said to me, you know if you are not congruent you won't be fulfilled. If you look at my signature quote you will see the same idea. So I strive for that. I also use my spirituality as a tool for wellness. I work on it and expand it, try to implement it into my everyday life, which can be hard because I don't subscribe to any on religion. But I find peace in that.

All in all I think managing bipolar is caring for our whole being. I have found the best results when I use that approach. It's one our medical approach overlooks somewhat.

I do take lithium. I have taken it for seven years, I don't find a lot of relief from it. I get my liver and kidneys checked because of my meds. Everything looks good on paper. My doctor and dietician explained to me that because of my chronic malnutrition and starvation I have messed up my metabolism and hormones pretty good. So just like I don't metabolize food properly it goes the same for medication. I will either metabolize it much to fast or usually much to slow, because my body thinks it is constantly in starvation mode, which well it true. I'm not sure exactly how this all works, I'm no doctor that's for sure.

I grew up having night terrors, ouch I'm sorry to hear you are going through those as well. Mine have gradually decreases quite a bit. My PTSD symptoms have decreased big time, I did do therapy, not a lot mind you, but I put a lot of effort into the work. I worked through most of my issues, it was painful but worth it. I still have lingering symptoms tho. I really had to know that I am safe now and believe it. When I get anxious or triggered I slow myself down and remind myself exactly what and why it's happening.

Like with anxiety and panic, you're reptilian brain is kicking in sending you into fight or flight, chemicals are being released rapidly, I find the sooner I can interrupt the thoughts the quicker it ends. I remind myself of exactly what is happening, I used to have panic attacks that came out in the form of choking ( due to abuse ). Once I started to realize exactly why and how this was happening, I could stop the choking much sooner, also using deep breathing.

Ok sorry. I'm writing a book here now. I will post back to you with a few links tho, hopefully something might speak to you.

Thank you Anika. I've really resonated with your post. You seem a lot like me in your outlook. Please do send links... I'm always up for "being spoken to" . Congrats on how you are managing things. How do you find working with self esteem? I'm trying to get mine up from the bottom of the sewer. I meditate on it daily, focus on my good points daily but can't seem to raise it from the bottom of the sewer. Maybe it is one of those things that will take time to see results?