[bluematador]

I received an overwhelming response to my peer based somatic movement support group. It triggered all the feelings of worthlessness and abuse from my child hood. I should be happy but instead I have been crying for days. I was given a beautiful dance studio space to hold my group meetings. Counseling centers in the community welcomed the idea and are giving me referrals. Many people have signed up to participate. I am stifled with these feelings of unworthiness. I have spent many years developing these skills and I want to share them with my community.

here is my website:

www.wix.com/crimsontoad/support-group-somatic

I've spent months traing and doing research to create the best possible environment. I took courses at the Boston University of Psychiatric Rehabilitation for training as a support group facilitator to help create a safe supportive environment. I have sixteen years of training in somatic movement.
I feel paralyzed by these flash backs of abuse, of being told I am a monster and I am worthless. People have jumped in to help and I am surrounded by community support I searching for ways to transcend this sense of worthlessness. I want to contribute my skills to my community.

Im having the same problem, for the same reasons. I too struggle with this, and at this moment am struggling. I guess one of the ways is just challenging those thoughts. If you don't challenge it you will never find out. Not that there is anything to find out, because you are clearly not worthless. They have invested in you, because they believe you are worthy. They believe what you offer is worthy, and that you will succeed, otherwise they would not have given you the space or referrals.

Try to borrow their faith in you a little or a lot. And remember that you have already accomplished a lot. Maybe use those memories of being told you are worthless to fuel your passion to succeed. You defiantly do have the passion, or you wouldn't have come so far. I struggle with this issue so much, enough that when I have a success I feel fraudulent, an imposter. Obviously this isn't true tho, what I succeeded with I earned, so have you.

You are trying to do a very good thing here, with very good intentions, know that your intentions alone are being heard and welcomed by your community, they are saying " yes you are worthy, and yes we want you here, we want what you offer."

I really hope you overcome those feelings, and can see what others can see, that you are valued and worthy.

I just picked up a book last night, so I haven't had time to read it, but I picked it up because it caught my eye on this subject. There is a chapter called " what you seek, you already are". The book is called " The Book of Secrets " by Deepack Chopra, more about spirituality. But the name of that chapter stuck out to me, because it holds truth. You seek feeling worthy, but you already are. We cannot attain what we are seeking if we already have it, maybe we need to stop seeking it and just know that we already have it. Sounds really simple in words on paper, doing is another matter. And maybe it isn't so much about doing either, rather just " being". Being worthy because you already are, it's just a matter of fact.

[bluematador]

I really Like that idea that we are already worthy and we don't have to seek it. I study the work of an African Shaman Malidoma Some and he says we all have gifts to develop and share with our community. I feel like I am thriving when I am developing my talents in this way. This is what i am passion about. Still I struggle like you with the feeling that I am a fraud even though I have spent years training and doing research. I won't give up. I will continue my work. I am just having a bit of a break down at the moment. I will have to check out The Book Of Secrets,
thanks.