[BNLsMOM]

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=227624

It is kind of a triggering post, but I could use some insight...

[Secretum]

I still think that it is possible that these thoughts are OCD-related. My brother has a similar problem; he pictures himself killing our parents, and then he feels incredibly guilty for having those thoughts and wonders whether he would actually carry them out. The thoughts are incredibly vivid; he can see the blood and everything. He has OCD. No one has even suggested psychosis.

Psychotic symptoms include hallucinations and delusions. These thoughts don't sound like either to me. They aren't hallucinations because they are your thoughts; hallucinations generally are external. They aren't delusions because you don't have a firm belief that they are true. I know that such intrusive thoughts are scary, and I send you all the warmth and comfort in the world. But I really don't think that these thoughts make you psychotic.

I am more worried about the paranoia you experience while driving. That could be psychotic. How strong is your belief that the cars are following you? Is it something that seems 100% real at the time, or do you question it as you experience it?

Also, do you have a diagnosis of OCD?

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I am more worried about the paranoia you experience while driving. That could be psychotic. How strong is your belief that the cars are following you? Is it something that seems 100% real at the time, or do you question it as you experience it?

Also, do you have a diagnosis of OCD?

I thought at one time that a doctor from a different hospital had said that these were obsessional thoughts and I automatically assumed that he was talking about OCD. I may have misunderstood him, since this doctor is using similar phrasing and is calling it psychosis.

When I am driving, I have the thoughts that the car is following me, but I am able to say, "What would they be following me for?" Then I feel surprised that I would even have thoughts about people following me. But it happens every time I drive and I get nervous until the car turns onto another street or is no longer behind me.

[Victoria'smom]

This is part of severe bipolar. I'm diagnosed with the same thing as you. My symptoms are similar to yours but at times are more severe or directed at others. One thing you may want to look at is what meds. changed before this happened. There are at least 3 anti-depressants cause this in me and of course severe mania. I'm glad you are in a partial program. If you don't feel it's the proper dx or if you don't click with your med team don't hesitate to get a second opinion. My son left today to stay w. relatives until DH and I are healthy enough to care for him. I find out tomorrow what my pdoc wants to do with me after med change sent me into the highest mania I ever had. Best of luck.

[fergus]

This week I'm experiencing something similar. I hear a voice in my head clearly but it's not mine and can come out of the blue. It always seems to focus on death and urges me to kill myself, whether it be driving the car into a poll or cutting myself.

I don't know if it's an intrusive voice or a psychotic voice, but either way the doc increased my meds.

I also have this thing where sometimes I think people can read my mind and then I argue with myself that it isn't possible.

Good luck I hope it gets better for you.

[Moose72]

I've felt this way and I'm bp1. I don't think it's only schizophrenia.

[SunAngel]

I commented on your thread in the other forum.

[Melancolic]

I agree with Secretum they are intrusive thoughts fueled by anxiety and paranoia.
There is no doubt behind a delusion, unless you have the same strong convictions tied to experience/thoughts as having a hand on your arm it isnt psychosis.
I have obsessive compulisive traits, allot of people with bipolar do, the intrusive thoughts can be tourtureous.

I also become floridly psychotic when manic. Memories when delusional become irrational and wrong or off overtime but they still share the same truthful reality feeing associated to things like 'water is wet'. I have a complete lack of insight while manic and/or delusional. Its still a hard concept to grasp having no idea when your insane instead i verbally and violentlly refuse it. Rejecting, family, treatment, authority figures, logic, food, sleep and the shadow peoples attempts to steal my thoughts of meaningful discoveries. Help, ill and sick were codewords in conspiracy to silence the truth after i escaped the water tower inspector who came to work to poison me for not broadcasting happy thoughts over the radio.

Well... Some people who experience psychosis do have some insight into it. I do, I have been having psychosis since I was 11, by age 33 I definitely have doubts, as I know that this happens to me. My pychosis is more hallucinations than delusions. Sometimes I will have delusions tho, and I grapple with myself between feeling like it is completely real and feeling like I could be wrong. Ive come up with ways to test delusions and hallucinations against reality. Even if you have some insight it can be extremely hard to see that it's not real. Delusions I find are much much harder to give yourself a reality check than hallucinations.

I don't know if this considered psychosis or intrusive thoughts, I've seen both of these lots with bipolar. Does sound like intrusive thoughts, and paranoia to me, where is line between paranoia and delusions tho?

[faerie_moon_x]

I've had psychosis, especially paranoid delusions, since I was a little girl. I never realize that I'm having delusions when they are happening, though (at least I never did in the past.) When I have hallucinations I'm pretty aware of it. But, the delusions totally suck me in. But, the delusions eventually go away. They just kind of stop.

The worst one I ever had I actually completely forgot about it until I triggered the memory by being in my old neighborhood. It was like a slap in the face kind of memory. But when I remembered it was also like an epiphany that it was a major delusion. It was very eye opening.

Also, I never realize how manic or depressed I am or how big of an impact it's having on my life until after it's over. Only when I look back at havoc do I see how bad I was.