[Secretum]

My abnormal psych professor insists that mood disorders do not include severe cognitive deficits. She has done research that showed that bipolar patients scored almost as well as healthy controls on a working memory task.

My personal experience conflicts with this, however. Ever since a serious depression my senior year of high school, I have been unable to "get my brain back". I find it hard to remember things (and I used to have a great memory). Sometimes I do not understand concepts presented in my college classes; my GPA is a 3.5, and I had a 3.9 in high school, before the one severe depression mentioned earlier.

Does anyone else have cognitive symptoms that interfere with their everyday lives? Do you attribute them to your bipolar disorder?

[Confusedinomicon]

Working memory is short term, though.

I think it does affect long-term consolidation of information. I have a hard time remembering anything past a few weeks.

Also, I don't think it's uncommon to not grasp everything you're learning unless you're a genius. High school is a lot easier and the material doesn't challenge you as much. Don't be hard on yourself.

[Secretum]

Working memory is short term, though.

I feel like I have deficits in both working and long term memory. For example, if you gave me a math formula and told me to hold it in memory long enough to use it on an exam a minute later I'd probably not be able to remember it.

Also, I don't think it's uncommon to not grasp everything you're learning unless you're a genius. High school is a lot easier and the material doesn't challenge you as much. Don't be hard on yourself.

Thanks.

[Trippin2.0]

I agree with the above, it's a different kettle of fish, so don't be hard on yourself. That being said, my cognitive function deteriorated in an absurd manner while medicated and mind you I was on minimum dosages, so I wasn't exactly a zombie... There were times it seems I couldn't grasp or retain any new information, it didn't help that my memory was reduced to goldfish status either. If I had to buy more than 5 items, I needed a list! When people explained something to me, my brain worked OT to comprehend! Embarrassing does not describe it. VERY heartbreaking for me. I'm glad my brain's back now

In agreement with Trippin' and confusedinomicon -- don't be too hard on yourself, Secretum.

Had to laugh just now. Confusedinomicon, whenever I write your username, I have to look at it 2 or 3 times just trying to type it out.

On the subject in general, I never know what to think, because my mind is not consistent. I'm definitely very intelligent. It's equally true that there are a lot of times I can't put a thought together to save my life. And times when it's so damn noisy up there, I can't hold a thought long enough to do anything with it before it vanishes. They're all true. Depression squashes my cognitive powers for sure. I don't remember that kind of unevenness and unpredictability years ago (in terms of day in/day out not knowing if Brain could be counted on to be in attendance). That unpredictability has made me less self-confident over the years, especially in terms of work.

Everything has to be written down, or done right then or I will forget it. It's annoying, but... meh, whatever, carry a pen, right? Memory is amazing for some things (short or long term), yet I usually couldn't tell you what (or even if) I've eaten that day. Or what day it is. But quote reams of dialogue, even for things I haven't seen in years? No problem. Other long term stuff is sketchy and altogether missing. On a "right now" conversation, I'll either be able to tell you exactly what's going on, or I'm tuned out and couldn't tell you a thing. Blah blah blah. Apparently there is an on/off switch. I just don't know where it is(!) Lol.

But to the specific questions... (rabbit trail much? ) Cognitive symptoms that interfere with everyday life? Yes. But see above. Attribute to BP? Hmmm. Yeah, a bunch of it probably is. Many many years of untreated episodes have wreaked their havoc. I'm undecided if meds have had any real negative cognitive effects for me, because there are sooo many other factors to consider too...substances, age, sometimes overwhelming levels of stress, and a mind that's naturally all over the place. (Welcome to Rabbit Trail City! A place for which there are no maps! Good luck!). They all undoubtedly play their parts as well.

[BipolaRNurse]

I seriously believed I was getting early dementia before I was dx'd with bipolar. I'd take my AM pills or brush my teeth and forget immediately that I'd even done it. I couldn't memorize anything. Not even a seven-digit phone number. I couldn't remember details (NOT a good thing in my profession!), had to write appointments and little reminders on sticky notes and put them up everywhere......and sometimes I'd even forget to look at the sticky notes. GAAAAHHHH!!!

Now that I've been treated for a couple of months, my memory's sharper than it's been in YEARS. Sure, I still blow off some stuff, but I'm also very busy and I'm no youngster, so the ol' brain is missing a couple of washers anyway. I think I can be forgiven if I misplace a piece of paper or forget somebody's name once in awhile.

I have lots of cognitive impairment. Is it bipolar, psychosis, meds? You know what.. Before I started meds I was pretty sharp. I don't know what the real cause is, it is something I see bipolars talking about a lot. I know that psychosis does cause cognitive imaipment and there are a lot of studies in this when talking about schizophrenia.

[tcmoon52]

I am quite sharp when Hypo-Manic, everything just clicks. And smart as a meatball when depressed, my memory goes out the door. I am mostly on the depressive side now, so it is quite frustrating.

This thread is interesting to me because I feel as stupid as a rock right now. I have psychotic depression but am wondering if I have bipolar. Anyway I actually got tested privately by an educational psychologist this week to see if there was any objective worsening of my cognitive functions. Interestingly she found that my working memory was average and my ability to scan information was below average. Considering my verbal ability was superior, I'm taking this as my other abilities have declined. Technically she can't say this for sure as I was never tested pre-depression (I never had any problems before so why would I?), but since these areas are lower than my verbal ability and they're exactly the things I now struggle with, I argue it suggests a decline.

*Willow*

[Confusedinomicon]

Maybe it is that it takes longer to register cues so it feels like your cognitive ability has gone down when it hasn't.

That would kind of explain why people feel 'slower'.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Yup. Like others, it varies a lot. Not always with mood. My artistic appreciation and vision tends to do best when I'm hypomanic, but not always. I get creative blocks even then.
Executive function seems to take a dive at both extremes of the mood scale, and quite often when I'm in a normal mood too. But that may have something to do with psychosis which I have independently of moods at times. That makes putting together complex creative works quite impossible until I emerge on the other side of the cognitive slump.

Lately I have been surviving on the pull of creative work, and struggling to get the planning aspects of daily living and social initiatives to happen.

Originally Posted by Secretum

...
Does anyone else have cognitive symptoms that interfere with their everyday lives? Do you attribute them to your bipolar disorder?

[faerie_moon_x]

This is my experience but I know for a fact that my short term memory comes and goes. But I don't think it is the "memory" part that comes and goes. I think it is the ability to process incoming information.

For example, when I am in mania I have so many thoughts and ideas I forget things almost instantly. Someone can say to me, "hand me a tissue," and I'll say okay and then instantly forget. If someone tells me to do something, and I have to walk back to my desk to do it, any memory of that conversation will be gone before I get to my desk. I lose things as soon as I set them down. I can actually be holding my phone in my hand and suddenly freak out because I can't find it (even if I'm looking right at it.)

Another thing this effects is my ability to read. I forget what I'm reading as soon as I read it. I have to go back and re-read it. Or, none of the words make any sense and they all blend together. I get extremely irritated and feel panic and anxiety.

Another issue which I think has to do with cognition is I can't organize. I get very frustrated trying to put clothes in a drawer. I can't figure out how to put papers together neatly in a pile. I want to make things nice and I just can't do it. I get very frustrated (it is just like the reading but with physical objects.) I can't write properly. I try to write a simple thing like 1:00. I will write the 1 and the 00 are on top of each other, or in the wrong place. I can't dial the phone. It will take me sometimes eight or nine tries to get a phone number correctly. I am always saying "good morning" in the afternoon and "good afternoon" in the morning. People actually get upset with me over this.

Some days are fine other days are so bad I feel like I'm going insane. My long term memory isn't what it was either. I used to be an avid reader, writer, and my memory was amazing.

Now, I am not medicated and haven't been for quite some time. The longest I've ever been medicated was one year of lithium about three years ago. So, I have nothing to blame but the illness at this point. I wouldn't mind being in a study, actually, to see what they think.