I want to experiment; pdoc is not interested.

Don't give up your dream.

I have always believed I could do anything I want. My parents used to tell me that when I was a kid, and I never stopped believing it. I certainly never let my illnesses (mental and otherwise) stop me or limit me in any way when it came to pursuing my dream.

I think the day you start letting your illness limit your dreams and goals, is the day you lose to your illness.

The day I got accepted to med school was the happiest day of my life. It really is worth it.

First of all, it's not impossible to go to school with this illness. I went back to college at 45 and while it took me 3 years to earn an Associate's I achieved this goal with honors and graduate this month. It CAN be done!

As far as meds go, I've tried a million different combinations. Even when you find something that works, it doesn't work forever. I have a dear friend with treatment-resistant depression. She started on Saphris (sp?) about a year ago and that did the trick. Not sure if that would work for you, but if your doctor isn't listening to you, it's time to move on.

I had to push and finally got a different doctor. My pdoc i have now works with me and listens to me. I know what I can and cant tolerate when it comes to meds and believe I should have the ultimate say in the end. Definitely speak up and be your own advocate because they seem to be content with us being depressed. It seems as long as we are not manic they are happy with their progress. To me depression is just as bad if not worse than becoming full blown manic. I found out that all I needed to do to lift the depression was go off the anti psychotics under supervision of course. It worked for me. It was seroquel and tegretol holding me in a deep depression. Now Im only on abilify and zoloft and I am doing pretty well. I get hypo at times but its nothing I cant control by taking sleeping pills and making sure I eat right. You just really have to get to know your body and mind and what you can and cant tolerate and what you will and will not tolerate with your medical treatment. I wont tolerate not being in control of what i take. Thats my right as a patient. If I dont want to take something its their job to help me find something better suited for me.

The good news is you are a sophomore and have time to work this out before you embark on your medical school journey.I usually discourage kids ( anyone under 30 is a kid to me) from going into medicine, which is all about my issues. There is an article on WebMD entitled Best Paid, Worst-Paid Doctors which discusses salary ( duh) and stressors. And another on medscape.com entitled Physician Frustration Grows. Interesting info. I am assuming you are in the States. I just worry that with reimbursement the way it is that the student loans will be impossible to manage. But a passion is a passion, no matter the cost!!!

I totally agree with this. Don't give up on your dreams. Sometimes things get tough but that's life you move through it and move up and on. I tell my kids all the time they can do anything that they set their mind to. I am a firm believer in this. If you set your mind on it and keep your positive outlook and your passion for psychiatry you will absolutely be a wonderful psychiatrist and I am sure that is true. I think when people get negative rolling around in their mind about something that's when a dream can be weakened. Dont let that happen to you and your dream. We need more people with a passion for psychiatry to be in the field. I also think having bipolar yourself you can do a lot of good, as you know from personal experience and not just text book knowledge.

I agree with them about making sure you dont get over medicated because it could be a disaster for your studies. Having been over medicated before I can tell you that your brain can turn to mush over night from medications. Mostly anti psychotics like seroquel. That one made me an idiot for a few weeks. I believe I was started on too high of a dose though. As long as you are stable right now and not in a bad depression or getting manic I would not add any strong meds to your cocktail until you have summer break or something like that. You will need time to adjust to these types of medications. If you are still down a bit maybe just an adjustment with some ADs would be best. I personally have better luck with abilify than I have with any other stabilizer or anti psychotic med. I couldnt take most of them and the ones I could take like tegretol didnt work. Geodon helped while I was on pristiq but as soon as the pristiq was gone the Geodon was worthless. There are many out there. Geodon will make you very groggy too. Seroquel and Geodon were the two most sedating I have taken.

Anyways sorry to ramble. Good luck to you with med school and finding stability. Just remember follow your dreams and they will come true.