[grlnmt66]

My body feels like its 95 years old! I actually slept the full eight hours and Im ready to go to bed...I just got off work! =o My mind is fine...but Im not mentally able to perform at work as quickly as I did when I was hypo... My question to myself is this...HOW did I go my whole life and shrug it off as ADD?! Of coarse the alcohol...pot and pills muffled things a bit...Quite a bit, actually. Ive been clean and sober for three yrs July the 27th...ALSO, Im peri~menopausl and from what I understand it intensifies the symptoms. I believe it.

[BipolaRNurse]

I got through perimenopause on Paxil and Ativan, so I hear ya there! I knew I'd never be able to take hormones because I'd had horrible experiences on BC pills---one provided me with a full year of migraines, and the other two merely made me psychotic. (I used to joke about that. Now it's not nearly as funny.)

Congratulations on your sobriety! I'm dual-diagnosis too, with both alcoholism and bipolar, and of the two I'd have to say the alcoholism is the most difficult to control even though I've stayed sober for 20 years. I STILL get the cravings sometimes, and I've been on more 'dry drunks' than I care to count.

It's astounding how the cause of much of the crap we go through in life is finally revealed to us when we're dx'd properly. I continue to be blown away almost daily as more and more of the "whys" I've wondered about for decades are being explained. Right now I'm still cresting---riding a wave of rather astonishing height for someone so recently in a lengthy mixed episode---so forgive me if all this is a bit rambling. I think I might be a little hypomanic here. But after the way I've felt for the past couple of years, I'll take it!

[sb7777]

I recently had an experience where I started to feel abnormal because I was feeling too normal, if that makes sense. My mood had stepped down from the slightly hypomanic state I'm usually in, and my body instantly felt foreign to me. I guess it's telling of how I've lived most of my life on slight hypomanic edge. But when thing go too far (toward hypomania or depression), I start to feel uncomfortable and I'm exhausted and wiped out at the end of the day. I'm constantly trying to find that balance.

[grlnmt66]

Sb7777~My quest is for balance, as well. BipolaRNurse~ Thanks for the kudos on my sobriety! Discovering that Im BP is an epiphany...an AH~HA! moment...a revelation. Definately a turning point in my life..and for the better.

[BipolaRNurse]

I wish I could think of my own diagnosis in as positive a light as you do! However, it IS good to know what's been causing all of the distress all these years so it can at least be managed.....otherwise, it's like fighting shadows.

[grlnmt66]

BipolaRNurse~ Im just so happy and relieved to FINALLY know what "it" is....Now, I know what Im up against and can work with it. Before I just knew something was off and not right but I couldnt put my finger on it...For me..knowing is empowering. BTW~Im not the kind of person who looks for something wrong with themselves...actually Im quite the opposite.