[madeline]

I am a diagnosed OCD, I have read up about bipolar a lot, and I feel I have some symptoms, then I think, 'that's just life, everybody is like that' so I don't really know what to think. One day I can be really confident, can go out, talk to anyone, can be really up myself as well, but at the time I think it's right to be that way, if that makes sense. Sometimes I feel I can do anything and that I am better than other people (bad I know), then I get days where I hate myself, I don't understand how anyone likes me/puts up with me/is friends with me, I think about suicide, get angry over nothing, question life, etc etc . Most of the time I think I'm just being normal and that everybody is like this. Then I talk to friends and most of them say they NEVER feel depressed like that. I don't tell them about the confidence part because to be honest it's just embarrassing and I don't want them to judge me on it, I don't want any of you to judge me either, I'm worried about that at the moment actually. But anyway, is it just life? Or is that something wrong?
I have no reason to be depressed, my life is good. I suppose I just make problems out of nothing. Which then makes me want to die even more because I feel like a bad person for being depressed and I just think it'd be easier for me and everyone if I was dead.

I don't really know where this post is going :/ any replies would be appreciated.

[dottie]

Hi Madeline!! Welcome to PC!!!!! I think you will find many kindread spirits here.

[Azalysa]

Hi, Madeline & Welcome!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I have no reason to be depressed, my life is good.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This is what my (former) husband would tell me over and over again before I was diagnosed - how good I had it, which I did. Then that would make me feel guilty which led to more depression.

The thing is, if someone has a chemical imbalance in their brain ie. the illness of depression or any other mental disorder, it is what it is...an illness - not dependent on what is happening in life. (Though those may trigger depression.)

Wanted to mention that up front.