MAD, SAD, and DRAB

saw pdoc here at home (she does home visits), and she wants me to increase seroquel to 2 when I'm cycling not happy about this
Hey I didn't ask for this illness, why me what did I do to deserve this

*hugs*

Hey there -

Just started Seroquel myself and I am not too thrilled either..... I know that none of us asked for this dang disorder, but it is here and all we can do is help ourselves via meds, therapy, etc. I have not been able to sleep since she started me on this stuff (100MG @ nite)....

So, it is 05:15 my time (EST) and I have been up for going on 3 days now... I feel so exhausted, but my mind is not. It will not slow down in the least... I know I have been 'absent' for a while, as I have been having some un-related issues (good ol' household is at it again w/me - go figure) and I ended up back @ her office yesterday to talk about this...

Now I pretty much "know" when I am in an episode or not - and I also know that while I may not be tired, I can still get SOME rest... Regardless, she's convinced that I am in one - yet I don't feel any of the other 'feelings' that I am used to whenever I go or am in an episode...

So, I'm kinda like you right now - I am far from happy and I wonder what I did to deserve this medication that seems to be making me worse... Yes, there are mountains to get over with each new med, but this is just ridiculous... I am SO honestly tempted to just stop taking it already so I can get some rest.... My xanax are like candy - no effect whatsoever... Makes no sense eh??

TO top it off, she says I'm 'abusing' them - bcuz I am taking two at night (totalling 4MG) instead of just one; then she goes and writes out another RX for it yesterday after I got the third degree on addictions. I told her she's going to be footing my hospital visit if she doesn't back off as I know my body, i've dealt with this for a LONGGG time, and I know exactly what works and does not work... And if I am addicted to wanting to be calm instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, then call me addicted... I mean for real - chew me out over taking an extra one at night on occasion whenever I am having 'extra' difficulty getting to bed and then write out for more? Sometimes I wonder if these docs are making things better or worse.....

At any rate, I hope you start to feel better soon and you'll be in my thoughts.. Feel free to talk if you need to - I'm here

taking a page out of my book, you two! i feel your pain! yesterday when i came home from work, all i could think about was having a good day or two. i'm sick of this and i want it to be better. BUT, we just have to keep trying and take our meds and pray for the best. i feel hopeless at times and then i have a few good hours. love, pat