[Victoria'smom]

My husband has been out of work for a year due to bipolar II and not having it under control enough but his therapist thinks he may have to accept that he won't be working for a long, long, time. He's at therapy (group, individual, & family) about 10 hrs a week for the past year. His parents and my parents do not feel bipolar exists, in us, and we should not take medication, or be in therapy.

This bothers my husband, he feels they are calling him a lazy liar. His family's opinion is that everyone has mood swings and "We're fine, we wouldn't have as many mood swings if we had our finances under control" (okay, you control bills with $700/ month w/ $550 rent). Mind you our son is staying there because of our recent episode. I did not feel we could care for his general needs right now and we have yet to schedule his return. It's to the point if my husband has to get hospitalized I am to Face book his mom as him and say that he's busy doing something when she calls. My family's even worse.

How do we educate them about the seriousness of this w/o scaring them to bad or thinking we shouldn't have custody of our son? They already went to one funereal because of mental illness this year, you would think they'd be more accepting.

[BuggsBunny]

How about a joint session with your pdoc, who can probably describe the reality of bipolar better than anyone, as well as reassure them you can be responsible parents when you are stable? You could also get them literature from National Institute of Mental Health or some such well known agency for them to do a little reading or research.

I think sending your son over to his grandparents was a responsible thing to do. I also think it was probably very hard! Kudos to you for taking good care of your child!

If his t thinks it will be years before he can work, you might want to apply for SSD, get some added income.

[Victoria'smom]

He tried for SSI and got denied, we are looking into other options while he fights the decision. I'm on SSI and I'm hoping it doesn't risk my income. His parents live a good 600 miles away. They are not able to come to therapy but when they do visit we do not plan to change our schedule around much. I know that sounds harsh but if we don't put our health first our ability to comply to treatment slips FAST. I did make a highlighted list of symptoms so that if I am asked my opinion it's clear. I don't plan to hide any of our emergency stuff next time they come. They constantly tell us to be honest with them and then get upset and worried when we are.

[faerie_moon_x]

The thing with SSI is you have to keep trying, I hear. My mother in law is on SSI for BP 1 and she was denied the first time. Her lawyer told her it's unusual to be approved the first time, and she had to get a second opinion and then was approved.

As for your family... it probably has a lot to do with generation. My dad is 75 years old. He doesn't believe that mental illness is a real thing except for things like schizophrenia. His first cousin has schizophrenia and he doesn't see it as 'mental illness' exactly but more like downs syndrome. I think he feels this way because his cousin had to be hospitalized, on medication, and has been unable to work and lived at home his whole life. . He's now around 60 years old, and everyone wonders what will happen when he mom passes.

But, something like "Bipolar Disorder" is different. I think a huge factor is because it is labeled as a "mood disorder." People think it's like you say, "happy then sad." Yes, everyone has mood swings. I can deal with mood swings. That's not my problem. It's the loss of concentration, the inability to read, the racing thoughts, pressured speach, poor judgement, inability to make decisions, loss of organizational skills, forgetfulness, degraded functioning, delusions and paranoia of persecution, grandios thinking and behavion, suicidal ideation and SI, and hallucinations that bother me the most.

So many people do not understand, will not understand, and refuse to believe. It is a horrible truth about illnesses such as Bipolar, depression, and ADHD. People think we are making excuses.

I highly doubt they would go to a psychiatrist, either. Most people with those beliefs think that psychiatrists are charlitans who are after the money of the "easily fooled." Like snake oil salesmen. I would find research you find helpful to you and print that out, or purchase books. Point them toward NAMI. I'm sorry if I seem cynical, but I would be amazed if they actually take the time to read or listen or educate themselves, and if they do then it would surprise me if they believe it. I work with a registered nurse who doesn't even believe bipolar is real.

Anyway, I feel for you. I haven't bothered to tell my family beyond my husband and mother in law.