[cocos421]

Hi, My stepdaughter goes to visit her mom in another state for the summer. My husband and I have been raising her most of her life. She is 12. Her mom is immature and loves alcohol and socializing. She recently moved out of her husband's home to live with some guy. She couldn't even move in with her parents because they do not get along. So, my stepdaughter is going down there to stay with her mom and a guy we don't know. Also, her mom works for about 6 hours a day, so she plans to leave the girl alone, which we have never done with her before.
Her mom just posted on facebook that she has intermediate explosive disorder along with bipolar. It is obvious this woman needs meds and I am wondering if she actually saw a doc or is taking online tests and diagnosing herself.
I'm afraid for my stepdauagher. My husband and I both have reservations about her visit, but we cannot deny her to see her mom.
So, has anyone heard or have this explosive disorder? I read about it a little, but would like some input.
Thank you so much for the time to read this.

[Victoria'smom]

My 3rd dx was this after BP2 but before BP1. Please make sure she knows a safe place to go if she need's one, and keeps a detailed journal about how she feels. Females are generally more apt to hurt themselves than others. I am really surprised she was dx. with both since they overlap so much. If she did go to a pdoc it maybe that s/he's looking at IEP or bipolar. If you get a long well enough ask about what's going on, usually a mood stabilizer is used. If you have the $ look into camps in that area that you step-daughter can go to while her mom works. You may want to get her a therapist when she comes home because there is mental health issues in the family and therapist will be able to guide her through normal teen age years and what could be more of an issue.

Best of luck

[Anneinside]

Actually, it is:

312.34 Intermittent Explosive Disorder, not intermediate

[Anneinside]

A question, from this sentence: Her mom just posted on facebook that she has intermediate explosive disorder along with bipolar.... who is she? The mother or the daughter?

Do not ever put any child in a situation where you have even the slightest concern for her safety or well being. All of your questions need to be answered completely. You need to know exactly who this new guy is before you consider allowing him to interact with your daughter. There are reasons for your reservations. Do not ignore them.

[cocos421]

Originally Posted by Anneinside

A question, from this sentence: Her mom just posted on facebook that she has intermediate explosive disorder along with bipolar.... who is she? The mother or the daughter?

Yes, it's the mother of my stepdaughter. We just found out today that she is currently back with her husband. This is good because it is more stable there for my stepdaughter and the mom's parents-in-law live upstairs. You have to understand her(stepdaughter'a mom), that she doesn't give a crap about anyone. We moved 300 miles away, took her daughter, and that was fine with her. Also, she never came to see her when we took her to Children's Hospital for major surgery. She never even took her to the doctor's, ever.
If we mentioned mood stabilisers or therapy to her, should would probably just laugh. Honestly, by her behavior, we think she is on drugs or a major alcoholic.

[Trippin2.0]

My last pdoc thought I have IED, since I've been displaying symptoms since age 9. The rages are completely independent from my moodstates, and have to be triggered or more accurately relentlessly provoked. I black out mostly and hear details after. Bcoz I need a specific trigger for a rage as huge as this, and understand the danger involved, I avoid anybody who is an obvious button pusher and doesn't respect my boundaries that I so clearly point out. If your daughter WANTS to see her mom, and she'll be safe with her grandparents, let her go, but make provision for her to be ABLE to leave as soon as she wants or needs to. If there is no adult supervision while her mom works, keep her home.

[cocoabeans]

I can't comment on the raging. Even anger I rarely ever experience. The step mom sounds awful and imaginations certainly run around here...

But, my question is, she is 12 right? Does she really need supervision at all times? The kid is old enough to babysit other kids so mom making that an option, leaving her at home alone, for a 12 year old makes sense. Eventually you will start leaving her alone.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by cocoabeans

I can't comment on the raging. Even anger I rarely ever experience. The step mom sounds awful and imaginations certainly run around here...

But, my question is, she is 12 right? Does she really need supervision at all times? The kid is old enough to babysit other kids so mom making that an option, leaving her at home alone, for a 12 year old makes sense. Eventually you will start leaving her alone.

leaving a 12y.o alone AT H0ME, makes sense to some yes. Alone at a house OUT OF STATE with a strange man... I'd be worried if that was EVER ok.

[Victoria'smom]

I think with kids the more entertainment, especially in a new, stressful area the better. Then she can make summer friends.

[BlueInanna]

If you are so seriously worried, why are you sending her? Is there a court order or something? So much at risk at age 12... all ages yes, but especially the adolescent years when she could get into trouble and make bad choices if not supervised.

[BuggsBunny]

Do you have a court order that makes her go? Given the instability of her mother, and the situation, it might be a good idea to get the order amended for this summer. 12 is too young to be left alone all day, especially if her mom is hanging around with a strange boyfriend. You have no real idea of knowing how long she'll stay with her husband, or if how safe this boyfriend really is.

If you do have to send her, make sure she has resources to go to if things go haywire - her grand parents, etc.