[Victoria'smom]

For some reason I feel really weird about this post on here, usually I don't care.

You know, it seems pretty clear that what you are doing now is not working.
That's why I need to figure out coping mechanism's that don't involve me sleeping more than I should.
You are not being straight with your T or pdoc. I feel like I'm trying but hospitalization would be off limits. So they got things after the fact last time because I did not trust. T did see me while I was MANIC. All of my mood charts are going into T's mail box tomorrow morning.

then you are going to have to change how you are handling the situation. This probably will not get better on its own. But if I'm cycling it'll go back to okay right?

Otherwise, this sounds like it is going to continue well past 5 weeks.

How long could this last? This is just a depression, right? I think it's lighter then before, it's definitely different.

What will be the plan for your son at that point? My cousin in law plans to stay here w. us again, to attend college. worse case sanario he'd stay w/ a friend for the school year.

You really need to come to a philosophical decision to latch onto whatever you must do to start making improvements in your condition. That really hard to think of something to latch on too. I know I'm a mom that should be enough. I know my husband is going through a lot but honestly it's hard to care.

You deserve to be in better shape; your husband and you together deserve a more stable environment for the both of you; and, your son absolutely needs you to both make every effort to reach stability so he can be with you. Thank-you for saying this.

You know, it seems pretty clear that what you are doing now is not working. You are not being straight with your T or pdoc. You are separated from your son because you are in such bad shape you cannot be with him. You talked in another thread about not being med compliant. If you want to get better, if you want to be back with your son (and that would be a HUGE factor for me as a parent), then you are going to have to change how you are handling the situation. This probably will not get better on its own. You are going to have to be completely honest and transparent with your T and your Pdoc. If they recommend changes in your treatment, be it medication changes, hospitalization, etc., you are going to need to consider cooperating. Otherwise, this sounds like it is going to continue well past 5 weeks. What will be the plan for your son at that point? You really need to come to a philosophical decision to latch onto whatever you must do to start making improvements in your condition. You deserve to be in better shape; your husband and you together deserve a more stable environment for the both of you; and, your son absolutely needs you to both make every effort to reach stability so he can be with you.

[Anneinside]

As for your fear of hospitalization, most hospitals won't admit you unless you are suicidal or homicidal. Few will admit you for treatment unless you are getting ECT.

[Victoria'smom]

Anneinside: I don't feel I am but I can't tell how people will take the crap I say when I open my mouth.