*Edit Bipolar or something else?

I am an 18 year old female and since I was young I had noticed I have very VERY bad mood swings. Sometimes I feel great about myself or everything and in a split second I hate everyone and want to murder everyone. Or I'll feel happy and within minutes I'll feel sad and down. It's extremely hard to explain, but I will try as best as I can, I get this feeling inside where one side is like be angry with everyone and the other side is like be happy and I get so frustrated inside trying to figure out my emotion that my frustration comes out. My family lately has been telling me I could be Bipolar and they've thought so for awhile, but I don't know. My irritability is out of the window. Any little thing is said or done and I become extremely irritated and pissed off. It can be from my grandfather wondering if i'm hungry and saying "Go ahead and eat an apple" I become irate. It sounds silly, but I feel bad that I react towards my family like this. It gets to a point where no one can talk to me because they become upset with me that I get angry. I need some advice or how were your experiences with bipolar disorder before you were diagnosed. Is this similar or could this be something completely different? I feel like I am lost with myself. I have a child as well and I get angry or irritated very quickly with her and I don't like that feeling.

As far as sleeping pattern I can sometimes sleep for 8-9 hours and wake up irritated and still tired or I can get 4-5 hours and feel great, sometimes I can't sleep at all!
Suicidal thoughts? Daily basis. I think of different ways to harm or kill myself.
I get terrible headaches (don't know how relevant that is, but just throwing that in there).Due to my migraines that my neurologist diagnosed me with I have recently started a antidepressant that would supposedly help them called Amitriptyline or Elavil. I've only taken it three times, didn't like the effects and seemed to be making the headaches worse.

Based just on what I read there, I am not seeing mania, just anger. Maybe the sleep could show some manic behavior. That's not to say it is or is not bipolar, no one here will diagnose you, but we have opinions. My first reaction is that you should read up on Borderline Personality disorder. It's always best to find a doctor to talk about and get a real diagnosis.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderl...ality_disorder

I also suffer from chronic headaches (have had a headache for about 15 years now, literally) and I am finally on something that helps. It's physical therapy. All the meds in the world didn't help me (and I was on the very same you are, plus a dozen other). Not to say that your situation is at all like mine, just throwing that out there.

EDIT: Whatever it is, welcome to the site and I am glad you are sharing, I know it has to feel good to get this stuff out there, this site has helped me a ton.

Yes, it feels good to get it out. But I know no one here is a doctor and no one here will diagnose me. I have a lot of past issues that haunt me from being sexually abused by my babysitter's nephew when I was younger and being physically and emotionally abused by my father. I don't know if that would have anything to do with anything, but since the day I had gotten sexually abused at 7 years old I have never been the same again.

Very sorry to hear that. Do you have a therapist or are you planning on seeing one? Sounds like you'd probably benefit greatly from getting a good therapist that you can trust.

...Hi Idkwhatswrong...

...Welcome to PC...

BE VERY CAREFUL.

Amitriptyline is an old ant-depressant, a so called tricyclic. It can cause mania in bipolar people. It can make you only more irritated. It may be given with caution and only together with agents that protect against manias, such as mood stabilizers and/or antipsychotics.

One of the mood stabilizers, Depakote, has an excellent record of preventing migraines. So it can kill two birds for you. I recommend seeing a p-doc ASAP and not taking Elavil until your p-doc approves it. Especially given that it does not help your headaches.

I still get a few migraines here and there on Depakote (and I treat them with Imitrex nasal spray then - do you have an abortive, as opposed to preventive, migraine medication from your neurologist? you should) but not as nearly as many as I get unmedicated.

Another thing with migraines is never to allow dehydration. Drink water or electrolyte solution or tea. I drink Vitalyte for the electrolyte solution and if a migraine starts, it seems to quell it.

Having migraines and BP together sucks, but Depakote being effective against both sweetens it.

Good luck, you are wise to try to be on top of things.