[Moreta]

OMG, I am so IRRITABLE and a little depressed.

So I got a job, but apparently only my husband is happy about it. I've gotten so much **** about it not being a full time job, making $50k a year. I mean damn. I haven't worked in 2 YEARS. You think people would be happy that I actually have a reason to get up in the morning and get dressed, instead of being depressed and glued to the couch watching TV all day.

The job is going fine and I really like it so far. I start the bookkeeping next week, so we'll see how that goes. I have to learn Quickbooks first, but my husband's boss said she would help me out, since they use Quickbooks at their business.

Another thing that is going on is that I'm having health issues. Started about mid June. I had a tear in my esophagus, so I was throwing up blood. The drs also thought I had stomach ulcers, b/c I'm so nauseous all the time. So I had an endoscopy. They found a few questionable spots and took biopsies, but they came back negative for whatever they were looking for (it was a long word that I can't remember). Then they did an ultrasound to check my gallbladder and pancreas. They were fine, BUT they found that my spleen in enlarged. Now I'm going for a CT scan today, and I'm quite nervous about what they're going to find. Then I guess I go see my GP at some point to talk about it. I really have no idea.

Since they're doing a CT scan today, they're also going to look at the mysterious mass (I can't remember what it's called) that's wrapped around the vein, going into my right kidney. I'm going to try to find a dr closer to me, that will monitor it's progress, b/c the one I have now is 2 hrs away and no longer covered by my insurance. I've had a biopsy and crazy amounts of tests, so I know it's not cancer.

My back is also bothering me. I just saw my Nuero on Wed, and we decided that I'm going to get novocaine shots in my back to test if a nerve block would help. Personally I think I just need some cortisone shots in both hips and then I would be good to go.

So yeah, I'm falling apart mentally and physically, and it really sucks, especially since I started my new job not 2 weeks ago. I go see my pdoc on Monday, so maybe he'll have some answers. I'm so afraid I'm going to have a break down while there, b/c all this crap is too overwhelming. I really need to see my t, but I haven't see him since May b/c of money issues. I'm hoping that I won't have any Dr appts the last week of this month or the first week of August, so I can go see him. I really miss him.

[BuggsBunny]

Wow, it sounds like you have your hands full!
I'm so sorry to hear that you're having so many physical issues, but glad to hear you are working again. It's great to have a reason to get up in the morning, isn't it? And having conversations with people at work is so much more satisfying than talking to the couch , tv, or computer, isn't it? I mean, coworkers actually talk back!
I'll keep your health in my prayers.
~Buggs

[wing]

Geez, M...you have got so much going on it is no wonder you're stressed and irritable.

Congratulations on getting a job! I can't believe anyone would not be supportive of that!
I'd think twice about sharing anything with them again. I'm glad you and your hubs can be happy about it together.

This is one of those "print out and save posts" to take to your dr on Monday. Your therapist needs to see it too. Your pdoc may be able to help by tweaking your meds, and if you're just going in for a 15 min med check, you won't have to try to remember it all.

Since you're working, will you be able to afford your therapist again? I would go ahead and make the appt knowing you've got some $ coming in.

You've had one health problem after another. That alone would shoot anyone's anxiety level through the roof. I really hope they pinpoint exactly what's wrong and get it taken care of quickly.

I am so sorry you are going through all this. I'm sitting here wishing I could be across the table letting you pour your heart out. I hope you can continue to let your feelings out here. I'm not great at saying the right thing, but I sure want to help.

[Trippin2.0]

Moreta. So sorry your health is suffering. I'm so glad you have a reason to get up in the morning, I've just started 20days ago after a 1yr long stint crying in my bed. The people who aren't happy about your employment status can go fly a kite! I'm so glad you posted, it was just the reality check I needed to put on my big girl panties. Really hope you get well soon

[Moreta]

Had my CT scan yesterday, and man that was a hassle. I had to drink all this barium contrast in the morning, which is totally yucky, then they had me drink more when I got there. Then I got IV contrast. Before they would do the test though, they made me go get a pregnancy test, even though I had taken one at home Thurs night and it came out negative. So I went up and got blood drawn and it took them 3 times to actually get a vein....and after waiting 45 mins that test came back negative, so they finally did the CT scan. I was there for 2 hrs, for a 10 min test. fun fun.

[Trippin2.0]

what a morning! Hope you do something nice for yourself after

[wing]

Geez, M. I sure hope they get all the info they need from that one test. Sounds like it was a doozy.