[rgb11]

My boyfriend (who has bipolar) and I broke up a couple of weeks ago. I'm still processing what happened. I didn't learn he was bipolar til near the end and I didn't learn enough about it until now to be able to know what was really going on but I have question that has been nagging me.

Near the end I think he was starting to become "hypo or manic" but I'd only been with him for 7 months and don't know all this stuff.

He'd gotten a new car a couple of months ago...he was a bit OCD about the car but really happy when he got it. My ex boyfriend is 45, not 17

He seemed kind of embarassed it wasn't exactly the "top of the line" model (or a 4X4) even though the car was brand new. That particular model of Jeep doesn't even COME in a 4X4.

He bought a sticker, and put it on the car so that it looks to the casual observer to be a 4x4!

I thought it was sooo weird! But we were already having problems so I didn't give him a hard time about it. But it keeps popping into my head as such a strange thing to do.

Is this something that might have been a signal? A little delusional thinking or hypo or just...weird and his personality?

[eloquentdisaster]

I'm not sure. That is a very small incident to give out of context of his personality, but it doesn't sound very weird to me. Some people are just very self concious about their things. It kind of strikes me as the same as a woman buying a fake Prada purse.

What would have been a sign would be if he bought the car impulsively, and did other things like that too. I wouldn't be worried about the sticker, though.

I'm sorry about your breakup, I hope it is going as well as it can

[Moose72]

Sounds a bit quirky to me, not anything bad.

[LiteraryLark]

That's just what guys do. My dad bought a new car and he's OBSESSING over it, constantly washing it and putting stuff on it and he's on some car forum...I don't think it was bipolar...maybe buying the car itself? but guys can be obsessive with their cars, no matter at what age.

Oh my gosh! I could go on for days and days about the men in my life and their love affairs with their cars

[rgb11]

but isn't it weird to put a 4X4 sticker on a truck that is NOT a 4X4 just so other people think it is!?!?!

[rgb11]

yes, my dad practically lives in the garage, so I know all about guys and their cars I just coudn't understand why the sticker...as if it made the truck a 4X4...lol

[Clinte89]

I think its just a my toy is better than yours thing I dont do it myself, rephrase I make mine better than the other guys lol, But I think its just a personality trait. Nothing bad nor a sign of anything but thats just imo

[BuggsBunny]

I don't think it was a sign you missed, just a little envy of a car he couldn't get on your ex's part. So he faked it. A little strange, yes, but hypo? I doubt it.

[rgb11]

ok, thanks. Makes sense.

[unaluna]

that would bother me. he feels he has to lie to cover up some perceived inadequacy, and he believes his lie is actually fooling people. He would have expected you to be "loyal" to him, ie support him in these lies and fantasies and pretend he is a "bigger" man than he really is, whatever that means to him. Sounds like the first mr. hankster.

I live in SoCal so I can only speak to your question/concern as it relates to my experiences and observations here...

...many people see their beloved cars as an extension of themselves and their personalities.

I don't see it as much as a sign of bp necessarily...but of an insecure person trying to impress or just give a boost of self esteem.

Examples include; mid- life crisis, insecurity, placing too much emphasis on how they are perceived, actually being a car fanatic and needing to have a specific vehicle simply based on performance.

Total d-bags are driving around town in the most expensive vehicles...but get them in a convo...zzzzzzzzz

It is really competitive here, too...and we spend so much time in our cars they even act as an "accessory" to an outfit.

Now if you had written that in the midsts of a manic / hypo episode, he went out and purchased a F or M or P - especially without the actual funds - that I would definitely take as a warning signal.

Frankly it just sounds like he is the stereotypical,LA d****.

[rgb11]

Originally Posted by hankster

that would bother me. he feels he has to lie to cover up some perceived inadequacy, and he believes his lie is actually fooling people. He would have expected you to be "loyal" to him, ie support him in these lies and fantasies and pretend he is a "bigger" man than he really is, whatever that means to him. Sounds like the first mr. hankster.

thanks, it DID bother me! I was already overwhelmed by other things that were going on at the time so I didn't bug him about it. But I could not relate. I would never think or care to do something like that...in any part of my life. To me it really spoke about his personality....I just couldn't get behind that one so just laughed about it. But in the back of my head I was like....'what the heck...what else does this mean?'

[rgb11]

maybe it was not a sign of his bipolar. But perhaps it has a lot to do with how he presented himself to me (Mr. Perfect) and in the end he was anything but. He just wanted me to think that. I didn't even know he was bipolar for the longest time, and there were so many lies when he could have told me the truth. Of course he yelled at me for calling him a 'liar' even when I was asking him why he lied about one thing (he had lied about his pot use)

[rgb11]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

I live in SoCal so I can only speak to your question/concern as it relates to my experiences and observations here...

...many people see their beloved cars as an extension of themselves and their personalities.

I don't see it as much as a sign of bp necessarily...but of an insecure person trying to impress or just give a boost of self esteem.

Examples include; mid- life crisis, insecurity, placing too much emphasis on how they are perceived, actually being a car fanatic and needing to have a specific vehicle simply based on performance.

Total d-bags are driving around town in the most expensive vehicles...but get them in a convo...zzzzzzzzz

It is really competitive here, too...and we spend so much time in our cars they even act as an "accessory" to an outfit.

Now if you had written that in the midsts of a manic / hypo episode, he went out and purchased a F or M or P - especially without the actual funds - that I would definitely take as a warning signal.

Frankly it just sounds like he is the stereotypical,LA d****.

ha. we live in SoCal too (but I only moved here a year ago)

Funny thing is...his mom bought him the car...

Originally Posted by rgb11

ha. we live in SoCal too (but I only moved here a year ago)

Funny thing is...his mom bought him the car...

Hah! Seriously, don't worry about it. He is just having a p***ing contest it probably was a boost to his self esteem, too, since his mom got him a car....but not THE car welcome to LA

[rgb11]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

Hah! Seriously, don't worry about it. He is just having a p***ing contest it probably was a boost to his self esteem, too, since his mom got him a car....but not THE car welcome to LA

mystery solved, lol

((((rgb)))) still laughing! Lol!

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by rgb11

but isn't it weird to put a 4X4 sticker on a truck that is NOT a 4X4 just so other people think it is!?!?!

My dad put racecar and transformer sticks on his car and it is neither a race car nor a transformer.

It's a pride thing.

[rgb11]

ok. all men are crazy

[unaluna]

LOL apparently I am lacking a certain feminine gene in judging men! There's an article in this weekend's New York Times Sunday Magazine, written by a woman whose mother is an actual profiler! well, just for phony immigration marriages, but she advises her daughter on her dating life, and it's quite amusing how right her impressions are.

[rgb11]

I will have to look that up. I need some entertainment...and wisdom! thanks.