[Clinte89]

Sui, I cant seem to stop thinking about that or SI. We pulled out a sharp knife and my step mom said don't think about it half joking but I was thinking about it. I still am thinking about it. I don't wanna end it so no worries as I know it will go away but why cant I stop thinking about Sui and SI, they kinda go hand in hand for me. I just don't know and Im kind of impulsive so Im tempted to just do SI, not to much into ending it like I mentioned. How do I keep from doing it? Do others have this problem? Any idea why I think about it most days and very few I don't think about it. IDK Im rambling now and its only a short paragraph, I feel like a mess right now Im not really depressed but im not happy. IDK What I am. ok I'm gonna end this rant now.

[PiperLeigh]

I couldn't presume to know about your cause, but for me, I've found when I am not in a depressive state but am having recurring Suicidal ideation without intent that it is a function of my obsessive compulsive thoughts, not really depression. My Psychologist's office says that medication and therapy should help curb that constant ideation quite a bit. I get the concern about acting compulsively i have the same concern. I've found I often can have reasonable success in redirecting those thoughts, but sometimes it does become ridiculous how constant they are. I hope you are able to find a way to reduce those intrusive thoughts. ++

[Clinte89]

Thanks piper, Im having family come over as I am getting to close right now. I hope this passes soon

[BlackPup]

I used to think about it alot too - any sharp object, high places, walking out in front of buses, meds etc. it improved alot with my meds but I think the biggest thing was changing how I think about myself. Understanding that I am lovable and worthwhile because God loves me was really important to change the way I saw myself. Also that he created me so who am I to destroy myself? These two things helped me curb those thoughts and impulses. I still get the odd thought but I don't want to act on it and it is easily dismissed.

[Crazy train]

I think about the same things often daily. Don't know why. I talked to my therapist about it which seemed to help. Maybe you can find a good therapist. I thought it was stupid at first but when I got there I realized I could discuss things with her that I couldn't with anyone I knew personally.

[BlueInanna]

Hope it passes soon. I don't really know any good advice about this except wait it out like you're doing. Both my older kids have cut/SI. I remember how shocked they seemed at me being so shocked when I found out. I walked in the bathroom on my daughter doing it and fell on the ground hugging her begging her not to hurt herself and she said mama it's ok, it's not very deep, you don't need to panic, I'm not trying to sui. So I did some reading and found advice like to draw on yourself with a felt pen, instead of SI? I don't know if that's just silly advice or something that could really help. But hang in there and keep posting us!

[Clinte89]

I will try to wait it out and surround myself with my support system, I didn't cut today nor did i Sui so that's good it took a lot though. Thanks everyone for your support I think I'm gonna write your worth it on my arm. I think it's time for a tatoo I've never had one that would be a good one to get.

[BlueInanna]

Awesome idea Clinte! You ARE worth it!!! Yes, totally get a tattoo! Professional tattoo, right? This is the mom in me talking (I don't have any but promised my daughter we'd get one together now that she's 18)

[Crazy train]

Tattoos are awesome. I am covered in ink. I think you will love getting them. It sounds weird but I like the pain. In a good way. I never told anyone that. I have Sui thoughts and cutting tendencies and getting tattoos is almost euphoric for me.

[Clinte89]

Yes professional and I heard Simeon talking about the drama faces I may get that one as well. That would be cool.