[darkandempty]

3 tuesdays ago i had a breakdown in the office i thought was due to anxiety. i didnt leave the house for 5 days and barely left my room. the next monday and tuesday i went to work but it was torturous and it took all my energy to hold myself together. i didnt get anything done. after that i started working from home, but my concentration was shot there too. just thinking about the office would send me into a panic attack. monday i talked with my boss on the phone and he agreed to let me work from home for a while. i thought that would make things better. but tuesday i completely lost it and ended up on a suicide hotline chat and seriously concidered going to the hospital. wednesday i saw pdoc and he gave me ativan which makes me feel emotionless and outside of time. but thats an improvement. i had to get lithium levels done before he will change my meds. i talked to my boss again and im going on short term disability. i cant work at all and lying about getting stuff done is making my anxiety worse, especially with a deadline coming up. im ok today but the ativan is making me hallucinate a little. benzos always make me psychotic, i just have to decide how much i can take before i go back to depression.

[Blue Poppy]

I am sorry you are having a rough go right now. It is good that you have STD benefits. Take this time to focus on getting strong again and hang in there!

[purpledaisy]

darkandempty,

I am in a similar situation and have been on short-term disability for a week.

Don't forget to let your HR department know and get the paperwork filled out for FMLA leave. This will put your job on hold and guarantee it is there for you when you return.

Good luck, and enjoy this time of healing.

[hamster-bamster]

I am sorry to hear that, but also glad that you have the STD benefits. Don't even think about the office for now! Concentrate on finding something nice to do for yourself, if you can.