[sweethearttx]

I lie awake tonight crying. Wondering why I am cursed with this disease. Why I can't will myself out of it. I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend but sometimes dating him is so hard. Nothing bad ever happens to him and he's just always very happy. I have had a life full of trauma and loss and abuse and mental illness struggles. And I wonder, why me? I just want to know why me. I am 32 years old in November and this disease gets harder rather than easier. I just want so badly to be normal.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry your feeling crappy. I wish we could will our self out of moods. Is there anything you can think of that your boyfriend can lighten your day at least a little? I'm sorry you have had so much tragedy in your life. Are you working with a therapist to make it all less painful? I hope this will get easier for you soon

[toomanyquestions]

I am also sorry. It sucks terribly. Its not fair is it? I'm sorry that you've had so much misfortune. But you must keep fighting, even though its hard.

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” -Albus Dumbledore

sorry...

hope you feel better soon

[sweethearttx]

Thank you everyone for reading my ramble. Yes I do work with a therapist. Sometimes though, I think there are limits to what they can do. I wish I could go more but my medical insurance is bad at my new job and I can't miss the time. I wish I could quit working and just write books like I've always wanted. At least when I feel badly I could manage my symptoms at home as needed.

[Victoria'smom]

I'd look for a therapist that have weekend hours. If you write try doing that when your anxious or sad. I know if I'm sad I can't stay in bed or it get worse real fast.