on a downslide

ive been on the low end of the spectrum for a few weeks now. its to the point where the only thing keeping me from suicide is knowing what it will do to my bf and family. i even think about murder suicide so we can all go out together, but that has its own problems.

anyway, wednesday i went to the er hoping to get some kind of immediate help, but they said i didnt qualify for inpatient treatment and recommended a place that does partial hospitalization. thats really what i wanted anyway. i hate being in the psych ward.

so finally after two days back and forth i find out they cant fit me in until 9.10! i was so hoping for some immediate help and i dont know how i can pull through for over a week. ive even sunk so low as drinking after 6 wks sobriety.

does anyone have suggestions for things i can do to bide my time, distract myself, anything. im desparate and i will try anything.

i hope you feel better soon.

what do you enjoy?

find something you like that relaxes you and do that.

I hope you feel better soon too.
Call around or (have someone do it for you) and see if there is another partial hopitalization you can get into without such a wait.

I called my mom and told her I was broke when I broke down. Her and my dad came to see me. My dad called around and found a place that would help. I went and vented to a couple of counselers and it kept me from the bottom of the pit. My parents saved me. You need to spill it to someone who will just sit and listen. Sometimes that lets you see yourself in a mirror. It's sobering.

what gives you hope? Hold on to that...
Try having a friend over, occupy yourself with seeing someone or just doing hobbies... When I´m on the bottom and don´t feel like doing ANYTHING, I do puzzles- you loose track of time and it keeps you focused.
Take care and hold on to hope...