[MommaR]

I was in 2nd grade and diagnoised w/ my first ulcer. When the dr explained it was a stress-related disorder and he couldn't figure out what a 7 yo could possibly be so stressed out about and the list of my current worries started rolling thru my mind, I knew something was different about how I thought from other ppl.

[moremi]

I have known my whole life I was different, I just didnt know why until a few years ago. Im 33 now.

[Setso]

When I saw everyone was getting laid but me

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[Victoria'smom]

I knew I was from a young age but I didn't realize how different until college.

[BlueInanna]

I've thought I was from another planet since I was a child. I had a lot of imaginary friends, namely forest elves. I saw some ghosts and didn't like that. I wouldn't speak to anyone other than my family until I was 4. I had night terrors, social anxiety.

I always knew I was different. My earliest memories were of bigger kids picking on me. Constantly. And I have always been a loner. I didn't know why and still don't but I figured that the reason for this was because I was different than the others.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've felt 'different' for as long as I can remember, but didn't know why until I was diagnosed this past winter. As a child, I had night terrors from the age of 5 until I was 11. I sleep-walked. I had imaginary friends AND triplet sisters.

At 13 I went through my first actual depressive episode after my grandmother passed away; what's weird is the long-repressed memory of being taken to the doctor multiple times and given different kinds of pills. I was sick much of the time, too, so I assumed they were for my physical illnesses, but of course no one ever told a 13-year-old anything back in the day, so I never knew what I was being medicated for. But I do remember that the green ones made me sick; the orange ones gave me nightmares; the blue ones made me dizzy; the red ones didn't do anything at all. Then I saw my mother's friend, a nurse practitioner, and she came up with the correct medication; after a while I felt much better.

Now I wonder exactly what I was being treated for. There's no way I'll ever find out, because this was 40 years ago and all of the people involved are now dead. But somewhere in the back of my mind I can recall hearing the words "manic-depressive"......I don't know if they were in reference to me or not, but that was a term I know my mother wasn't familiar with. Weird.

So yeah, I've always been about 15 degrees off 'cool'. It's OK now, because I'm old and eccentric and people like me the way I am; but I sure suffered as a child and young adult. At least now I know why.

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I've thought I was from another planet since I was a child. I had a lot of imaginary friends, namely forest elves. I saw some ghosts and didn't like that. I wouldn't speak to anyone other than my family until I was 4. I had night terrors, social anxiety.

Exactly, Night terrors were a main thing in my childhood, imaginary friends, I was really withdrawn as a child.

I have always felt like I am on this plant but not of this planet, which has always been a little hard for me to get at. What is that?

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by Anika

Exactly, Night terrors were a main thing in my childhood, imaginary friends, I was really withdrawn as a child.

I have always felt like I am on this plant but not of this planet, which has always been a little hard for me to get at. What is that?

I was thinking about this, comtemplating reincarnation, and wondering if maybe I was just suprised to have to be here again. Like, wait I got on the wrong plane, can you turn it around? but I'm here for a reason and have to live life to find the answers.

Im not sure what I believe as far as after life, reincarnation and things like that. It feels like I know that my the energy that makes up me is not from earth. Haha I sound crazy, gonna be locked up for this. I do NOT think I am an alien, just makin it clear. Just feels like I didnt come from here. Maybe it's the energy from the sourse of creation of the earth I am feeling. Who knows .

I get you on that tho.

[~Christina]

Probably about age 5-6. I'm 44 now just diagnosed last year. Its been a rough ride .

Originally Posted by moremi

I have known my whole life I was different, I just didnt know why until a few years ago. Im 33 now.

That makes two of us. I'm 33 and have known since I was nine!

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

That makes two of us. I'm 33 and have known since I was nine!

hehe 3 of us, also known my whole life, and I'm 33 Hmm who else is 33 here?

[krisakira]

I realized i was different when I was 3 and my dad hit me over and over again

[BlueInanna]

((((((krisa)))))) im so sorry honey... it's not not not not not not not ok. you didnt deserve that, it wasnt your fault. and youre a good person, and looking for answers and support for healing. would take away all the bad memories if i could.

[MommaR]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I've thought I was from another planet since I was a child. I had a lot of imaginary friends, namely forest elves. I saw some ghosts and didn't like that. I wouldn't speak to anyone other than my family until I was 4. I had night terrors, social anxiety.

OMG- I so relate! I have prolly had more imaginary friends in my life than real ones. Slightly embarrassingly today I even still have one- her name is A'mi (kinda a play on the word Amigo). Never shared that w/ ANYONE!

I was going to say 2nd grade, only because it was a very conscious, clear as a bell memory (I could tell you where I was standing and the exact words that went through my head), a detached observation, moment of insight. In which the word "different" was key.

But -- though the memories are very clear, they were more a general "knowing" than a moment where the world stops. That would be kindergarten and first grade. I didn't talk. In school anyway, because of being exceedingly shy and not being able to relate to others. I would give a tap on my kindergarten teacher to hand something in. Never a word. In first grade, they put me in the "slow" (this was a long time ago) reading group, interpreting quietness as not knowing/understanding. Except that I totally did. Reading. Pffft. No biggie. They didn't realize I was writing in (self-taught) script before kindergarten and couldn't believe it wasn't taught until 2nd grade(!) Anyway, ha, yeah, when I actually did speak, at the first lesson, they moved me up to the other group immediately. Lol. But socially, I was very awkward. It was a whole different story on that front.

It was kind of like being from another planet, but it's more accurate to say that I was in my own world.(Uhhh, and remain so to this day. ) It's funny to think... every available opportunity in first grade I spent whirling around in the Sit and Spin (Do they still have those? Probably not.) So... even had a literal orbit! Haha.

(Now of course trying to find a pic online and "no no no, that's not what it looked like!" Maybe it had a different name. Will research more. )

[widowlost]

Sometimes I beleive I am the only sane one in my life, its everyone else who has the problem, but they seem to disagree. Animals and kids flock to me it's only adults that I struggle with. But i've known I had issues since at least my teen years. But its always been hrdforme to know the bipolar symptoms or what where issues from beng abused.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by MommaR

OMG- I so relate! I have prolly had more imaginary friends in my life than real ones. Slightly embarrassingly today I even still have one- her name is A'mi (kinda a play on the word Amigo). Never shared that w/ ANYONE!

haha i love this. ami is french for friend also . that's very cool, i think, that you still have one. mine has all left, i've even spent time in the forest trying to get mine back.

i have the distinct memory of blocking them, my dad thought it would be funny to say, "oh i just saw coco run across the floor." he meant no harm, he just wanted to play too, but at that moment i realized my family didnt believe me, because i knew forest elves don't come in the house.. lol. and it was like a shift in consciousness happened, the room spun a bit. and i wish the story had a different ending like that i'd been stronger in my beliefs and not let their reality marr me.

[hamster-bamster]

Haha... I realize that I was different in a positive way, in my twenties. I just started to date my now ex second husband, and I was having spontaneous touchless orgasms when thinking of him when riding a bike. I told him about it. He was surprised! He had had, before me, three wives, one steady live-in gf, and a great number of casual women. And he was surprised! That made me aware that I was different from other women. To this day, I have known only two women who experience orgasms this way: my late mother (hers were stronger than mine) who was bp and one woman on this board, username omitted for privacy reasons but would love to see her chime in, who is bp too. I realize that this is an awfully small sample, but I cannot help thinking of it as a bp orgasm!

[Sadguy7]

I've always cried excessively all my life, around kindergarten they started me in treatment

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