[Clinte89]

Well I see alot of people share their stories so I figured Ill share mine. Well Im here after a noticeable sui attempt on December 8, 2011, I on other occasions tried to drink myself to death almost succeeding both times but most people just thought I partied to much no they where sorrow drowning me drowning incidents. Well December 8 I had gotten to the point about two years before of drinking everyday non stop spending loads of money on it to say the least but I had a good job one that a stayed drunk at but no one said anything and my employees just thought I partied alot well once again I partied when I was up and drank when I was down so yeah I was drunk alot to the point of my family saying I needed help but I blew them off and continued drinking my pains away untill one night it got to be to much.

December 8, 2011
I went out to have a good time cheer myself up and the wood brothers where in town so perfect excuse to go out alone as usual no one wanted to be around me. I did however manage to get one friend to come but anyway. I drank alot as usual and heard a song that brought me to tears luckiest man. It said fighting is foolish and running is useless so at that point I realized my problems would never go away so I decided there I was going to die that night. I used my truck to do it however that failed so I wrecked my truck into a pole and hit hard but it didnt kill me, so I drove home on the rim not really giving a flying **** about it getting home I rushed in to get the gun and I was going to end it my friend tackled me and handcuffed me. I laid on the ground crying explaining how I was going to die and needed to. I was pretty depressed at this point, they refused to let me stay at home and took me to the ER I was a babbling mess and drunk off my *** so I explained everything so they took me in and gave me fluids to drain out the alcohol in me and sober me up so I could be later taken to the psych ward. Well I spent three days there seeing no relief in sight I lied and got out, the next day I found a psychiatrist and got an emergency appointment.

The appt:
Went to the appointment terrified I was going to go back to the mental hospital but he said unless I thought that was needed I wouldnt well I didnt so We talked for a good while as I explained my story and he dxed me as Bipolar and said I couldnt drink anymore. devastating news because at this point drinking was a comforting thing that hurt if I didnt drink.

Leading up to my second stay at the hospital:
Well I tried to stop kinda and went back to drinking hard I mean really hard I was going through a fifth a night, I got drunk in front of my family and they didnt like what they saw where I was headed. I broke my hand on the granite tops and yelled at them and saw things coming from their heads, I guess I had a bad trip my doc seems to think thats part of psychosis IDk. But anyway things got bad and worse to the point where I got to december 31, 2011.

December 31,2011:
I went to work that day driving a little drunk as I had a bottle I hid in my car for just such occasion as I couldnt drink at home for I had told them if I drank heavily again I would go to rehab. So I got to work new years eve it was a get off early day no one was there so we started the party at work I got drunk as usual and continued to drink more at a friends house. It was about 6 o clock I decided I shouldnt be drinking so I needed to go home got in a wreck and went to jail in jail I was very suicidal, so the next day new years I was back in the hospital on orders to be on the cage program and get my meds right before I went to rehab.

Fast forward:
Past rehab everything is going fine untill about March which is when I found this place I was back in the hospital for sui thoughts and cutting so another med adjust and things going good I was released and back on the streets this goes good for about 2 months and so in late july to agust 1 I was in the hospital again for 8 days Lamictal introduced as well as risperdol instead of abilify and things are good.

Today:
I tell my story in part because its therapeutic for me and I hope it shows people that the bottom is a short fall and a hard landing. Im doing better now much better people are still hesitant to be around me but after years of verbal and physical abuse who can blame them. I hope someone finds hope for themselves in this story. It took me 3 years to get help from the time of being told I needed to, to the point of hitting the bottom and seeking help. Hope you find this entertaining and a story of hope. Thanks for letting me share.

[Clinte89]

Oh and that was the second time in jail the first was for battery I went into a rage, and beat up most of my family.

[treehugger727]

Thanks for sharing your story, I am glad you are here

I hope that you continue to travel down the road that leads to healing. I think it is also very healthy that you are supportive of others on these boards...

[Clinte89]

Well alot of people have been very supportive of me so I like to give advice where I can and just lend a shoulder so to speak. Thanks

[roads]

Thanks, Clinte89, for telling us how you got here. I'm a bipolar alcoholic, so the general tale has a familiar whiff ... guess they all sorta do, eh? Are you in a program of any kind or are you just strong-arming it pretty much?

It sounds as if it's still pretty rough for you. I hope you've manage to get your life together and that's life's not altogether without it's compensations. You're a determined fellow, and I'm glad you're here to help the newbies understand how easy it is to get lost in alcohol and what role rehab can play in getting sober.

Thanks again, Clinte89, & please post in the Addictions Forum too.

Roadie

[Clinte89]

No program I was but found it didn't fit me well, I just couldn't get with what they where getting on about. I have a drink every now and then but the big thing is I don't want to become what I was again. So it keeps me straight also it's hard for me to get alcohol anymore just can't bring myself to do it really. I will post it there I'm not the perfect example but I'm doing good and haven't gotten back to the old me and will never do that.

Hmmm... I was just thinking how nice it would be to be able to drink again. Oh man do I miss it. I would drink at least six beers a night before. But yeah, after reading your story I do remember the bad parts

thank you for sharing