I could just say I got the shi## but handled it differently for a change!...but I can't so ..

...it started off with the TV guide and what appeared to be a stealthy yet steady trickle of psychosis gently illuminating the thoroughly vapid areas of my brain.

rationality dissolved when my true parallel universe collided with the current one and images of obliteration consumed me until somehow momentarily I could restore my composure...

suddenly I had aquired a revelation accordingly with what one does when it's quite clear that diminishing satisfaction is evident and one is alone and small electrical fires in my skull are enjoying the oxygen my lungs are waisting....signals are shooting down my arm.

..the TV guide! ...weak, inorganic, dishevilled, inanimate disgusting thing it instantly became, launched across the room with perfect violence! upon striking the venetian blinds sending shrieking metallic waves of tortured sound resonating in the window's trapped environment.

"how cool"...I thought....and "how freaking necessary"...I more thought!

despicable and appallingly limited are regular outlets....like staying the hell frustrated ...damn it!...no way.... and admiring the simplicity of the event and the complete undestructiveness of it all I mischievously glanced around in super slow motion like a true fiend, eyeballs settling on all the pillows on the bed.

..it might have gone on for 10 or eleven minutes?....maybe less?

but I bashed the crap out of myself with the pillows, and the walls and the floor and the bed and the ceiling and yelled into them pillows until it was all over and I was even laughing crying laughing gasping!

...the pillows went back where they came from and somehow had developed personalities of their own?? soft and gentle but capable of such madness!!... will they come for me again??

I sure hope so

Remember.. when you felt this way? It's so easy to forget...
it's way too easy just to say...
that nothing good has happened, that there is nothing to look forward to...
but it's times like these...
You'll find your way back...
to another pillow fight!

[roads]

.the pillows went back where they came from and somehow had developed personalities of their own?? soft and gentle but capable of such madness!!... will they come for me again??

I sure hope so

I am pretty sure I would go find them again now and then, just to try to keep in shape. Always had faith in those pillows to fight fair.
You know what I mean, James.
Roadie