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#1
Oct 05, 2012, 02:54 AM
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wander the room it's so quiet I'm scared I don't want to make a noise
I can panic when I get back! ...on my back I can see things I don't really want to see but close my eyes and I'm suddenly staring at things much much worse so on my back maybe wiggle a toe it aint much but it's a distraction! where can I take my mind here in the dark will it follow me it's like jelly... wobbly visions nasty breaking my heart with sad magic! I am sad I want to die I cannot cry I will not lie beyond bein' shy ....I wander the room again in a dead body looking for something some kind of comfort I made so many mistakes to get here and I hate whats happened and it hurts knowing everything I don't understand! I stop for a minute and cry for half of that and get sadder for more. I need the dark I need the black shapes I love the sunshine too but it's in the hell of silent miserable night I learn....all alone in the corner holding myself tight... shaking that seems to be when I really fight this crazy illness business forced to be sane |
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#2
Oct 05, 2012, 03:12 AM
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 Anonymous32912
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#3
Oct 05, 2012, 03:13 AM
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....the walls are like my skin and burning dripping ancient blood it's like I'm a ghost of some other pissed of dude from the crap side of history!
how can I move?....what audacity sheer shameful dis-regard for the gaps I drown in! bubbling sh.it of never-ending dis-belief! can I cut through the damage sliced up meaningless and carve out my life? ...say nothing make not a face ? whats keeping me alive? it's just miracle after miracle and on they go... some gorgeous little life angel is doing all the hard work....  cos I gave up way back maybe it's my own "baby" heart coming back to help me ...cos babies are so pure |
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#4
Oct 05, 2012, 03:14 AM
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you are beautiful blue C....X
 so warm |
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#5
Oct 05, 2012, 03:26 AM
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emotional distance just blows my mind!
I won't let anyone hold me....I have tried and I feel the body against mine and I panic! I don't want to let go thats all it is I don't want to let go I wish life was just one giant f.ucking HUG! "and it makes me wonder?? and it makes me wonder your head is humming and it won't go because you don't know... dear lady can you hear the wind blow and did you know... the stairway lies on the whispering wind!" I guess I aint the only one... it's still dark ....thankyou C so much .....beautiful pictures you lit me up!... 
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