Forming relationships

So I was viewing posts and one drifted into the area about relationships with others and letting people in...how much or how little...I wanted to expand on that without taking up room on a thread that was a different direction.
I was especially interested to know how a person could learn how to find a middle ground with this. How do u find the balance of just giving enough so a person understands you are worth the investment of a friendship or even a acquaintance -ship (so to speak) IRL mind you, without going too far...without divulging pieces you may not be 100% willing to share.
I talk too much. Not other people's secrets or anything...I am a good friend...I listen, etc. But often I say things then regret it later thinking that I may not really know a person well enough to have said somethjng.

I have ended up hurt many times and it is likely my own fault because I let people in. I have loved with my whole heart on a couple of different occasions and probably would not have been hurt as badly if I would have kept part of myself only for me. ( I'm not sad about these losses for the record- I have taken lessons from each of these experiences and learned a lot about myself in the process. I'm not a victim. )But getting hurt sucks.

I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. For the longest time I thought everyone else did too. Wrongwrong. I guess the person is the variable that makes a difference in this situation-I personally would not use another's vulnerability to hurt them. That sucks! I have learned from the relationship part and have learned to still give my all but to still have a reserve piece of tree on hand in case I give too much of me away. This was likely accomplished by having a bf who insisted on going slow...which I love him that much more for.

Its harder for me though with casual relationships. I dont always know when to stop sharing or when to not let people in- like I don't know how to tell when far enough is. Usually this is work (just started new job mon and I'm concerned about boundaries) I want to be cool with the coworkers cause everyone is laid back and good natured. Its like I don't know how to "take it slow". You know? I could use some help in that direction.
Sorry for the ramble...hope I am making sense here...

I too, wear my heart on my sleeve. I used to think that I needed to change who I was in order to get along and have relationships with others. I have recently learned that I don't need to change, just toughen up a bit. I am who I am, and I've become secure in knowing that. If others don't like it, it does not have to hurt me. I'm pretty tough now in knowing that if someone has a problem with me that it is not my fault.

also there are the users out there, and the manipulaters. I have found that as long as I am honest and not willing to play any games, then I don't have to worry about them. When people use you and get you down, or dislike you after getting to know you, it hurts only as much as you care i guess.

I guess after reading my post, I really seem to have a cold heart. I don't mean to, but when it comes to others who reject me or that see me as retarded or something, I do have a cold heart. It can shut off and shut out those who do me harm, even if it's my parents.

ooohhhhh, my advice here is bad. I'm telling you to shut those people out and have a cold heart towards them. Don't really do that, it's just what I do. It's my defense mechanism. I don't really know any other way. hmmm.. I neeed to work on that. I'm with you now.... I could use some help in that direction too

sorry to think out loud here.. but that's how I process.