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#1
Oct 31, 2012, 12:37 AM
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I am almost 30, and I just realized I have dissociated as a coping mechanism to deal with stress and depression since I was a child. It’s different than fantasy – although I have also lived largely in fantasy my whole life too – it’s like I feel like nothing is real, I am not real, the world around me is not real. Everything is a dream. I am numb.
Further, it’s almost like I can’t feel my body. Well, I can, but it’s like I am two degrees removed. I don’t feel pleasure, I don’t feel pain. Physically, and emotionally, I am empty. I guess it’s kinda like being in that state that is somewhere between waking and sleep. Can anyone relate??? |
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#2
Oct 31, 2012, 01:48 AM
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I've been doing it since I was eight, at least--part of what went into the clinically depressed DX slapped on me back then. I was told then (& had it affirmed ever since, even into the bipolar DX) that its a normal, safe coping technique. Since I'm nearly 67 & it hasn't led to harm yet, I have to think they're probably right.
And your description of its being like that "existence" between awake and asleep is pretty accurate. It's not so much that I feel nothing, just that feeling has no significance. I started using it to deal with stress as well during high school. I know for sure we're not the only ones, mohave rose. I, too, have enjoyed a rich fantasy life. Not surprisingly I spent much of my life working in the theatre, so it proved useful. Take care.  Roadie 
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roads & Charlie |
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#3
Oct 31, 2012, 02:16 AM
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I do this, but usually only for a minute or so at a time. It can happen when I'm driving which is scary, but it seems my "auto pilot" gets me through the intersections ok, lol. In the middle of a conversation I can also switch off and not feel like I'm present. It takes a bit of effort to get myself back
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"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller" Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn |
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#4
Oct 31, 2012, 02:27 AM
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I disassociate all the time to varying degrees and have since I was about 5 years old. I am 40 years old now. I used it to deal with horrendous abuse by my father. Sometimes I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror, it's like looking at a stranger. Sometimes I imagine I am so tiny, the size of a gnat, and crawling around in the fibers of the carpet. Other times I am floating up in the clouds. It helps me so that I don't die from the sheer pain and magnitude of it.
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Lauru-------------That's me, Bipolar and Watching TV   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ---Robert Frost |
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#5
Oct 31, 2012, 12:22 PM
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I just realized not long ago that I do this. I don't know how long it's been going on for me. I don't know if I do it only when depressed. It just happens. I don't realize it's happening. Then suddenly I am fully aware of myself and everything, like reality just punched me in the face. This has been happening to me a lot recently, like 10-15 tiems a day every day. Not sure why.
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#6
Oct 31, 2012, 02:35 PM
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oh yres,
i do this also used to do it a lot at school- and still do it a lot now |
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#7
Oct 31, 2012, 08:56 PM
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I have done this all my life.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#8
Oct 31, 2012, 10:41 PM
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I have somewhat milder experiences than you described, but I deinitely feel general dissociation/derelization. My theory is that it's a strange coping mechanism for turmoil in the mind.
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"My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - It gives a lovely light." -Vincent Milley |
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#9
Oct 31, 2012, 10:43 PM
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Quote:
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"My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends - It gives a lovely light." -Vincent Milley |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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