[Anika.]

My bf got me tickets to a Neil Young and Crazy Horse concert for my birthday. The concert is on Sunday in Vancouver so we will be leaving tomorrow. I have wanted to see him for so long, we missed him by one day when we were in Nevada. So OMG I am soooooo excited!!!! Thrilled!! Didn't think it would ever happen, and not too many people I really want to see in concert like this.

I had told him I was worried I would not get the chance before Old Neil died, the man is getting pretty old, think he is about 70 now. So the terrible news, my brother in laws mother, who I had a thread about passed away 7 pm last night. It was apparently not a peaceful passing at all, bleeding from the mouth for quite a while, feeding tubes, oxygen, a whole lots of morphine to try to put her absolute restlessness and discomfort down. It's not fair at all. Thank goodness they made it there in time to see her for the last time, but they seem to be quite in shock after talking to them last night.

Weird how I wanted to see Mr.Young before he dies, and now she has died instead, the timing. I feel confused. Conflicted because I was to feel excited about this, and at the same time that feels incredibly selfish at this time. Knowing my loved ones are in incredible pain is a bit too much for me to think about, my heart hurts soo much. I understand death is part of life, it's the pain for the ones left behind that's too much. Her death saddens me so much. I always looked up to this women, she was a good mentor to me in how to live gracefully.

I have always believed there is some magic in snow, snow the blanket of death that covers the land. I know I am gonna be 34 and still believe in some magic. I usually use science, quantum theories to guide me and draw spirituality from it, but this morning I woke to snow. The majestic season of death, it is beautiful at the same time. And maybe it's snowing today for a reason, yeah weather, cold fronts, blah blah, could happen just as easily today, tomorrow , next week. But maybe I will take some peace in it falling today. Maybe so I can find the beauty in death right now. The circle's ends meet, where the earth welcomes you back to being unified as one with it, and NOT seemingly of it..separate. The infinitum .. the magic that flows over the linear.

I'm sorry for the loss but I loved reading this post anyway. It doesn't matter why the snow really fell does it? From what you wrote I think your brother in laws mother would want you to go and enjoy the concert.

[Confusedinomicon]

Ilu girl. I like your view of the circle of circles.

Sorry for the loss.

[faerie_moon_x]

I think we're more connected to things than we want to believe, you know? Things happen when they happen and it doesn't really matter if it is science, or magic, or both. I believe all things are both in their own ways.

I'm sorry you lost your mentor. I do agree she would want you to enjoy the concert and not feel guilty about it. When my grandmother died, it was 5 days before Christmas. So my family was in a whirlwind of planning her funeral. We burried her on Christmas Eve. Then we tried very hard to shift geres to have a happy Christmas. It was insanity, but we knew she wouldn't want us all sitting around crying on Christmas.

[Anika.]

I think so too, thank you for that my friends.

I think her strong buddhist beliefs would imply she also knew this was the circle, and would find peace in that in life and death. My sister told me the monks were there last night at the hospital. They in their sect believe the spirit remains for a while in the body and that is the time to be with them and support passing them on. At 6 am this morning at the temple they began the 3 day ( lack of better word at the moment) ceremony. Her body will be cremated after that and taken back to Vietnam to be with her family. I wish I could be at the temple for this, but distance is impossible. I'll be there in mind.

Her mentoring need not end, she can be a mentor through death too. DH thanks for sharing that, I agree, our loved ones would not want us to be in pain, or to be the source of it.

Science is kind of magical, I mean ya it is, evolution, quantum worlds we walk in or not in, atoms even.. we are always so mystified by death, but the mystery of living is also so jaw dropping weird.. crazy, magic. Maybe science and magic are one in the same. I agree tho we are more connected than we believe or experience, we kind of set it up that way.

hope you enjoy the concert- do let us know how he is. can't say i know any of his music (well i probably do) but wouldn't know it was by him

sorry about the loss.

hugs

[Clinte89]

Sorry for your loss that doesn't sound pleasant at all. I hope you enjoy your concert as you deserve to. Just keep your head up kiddo