[Livebythesea]

Hello,
Just wondering if anyone is dating and how you explain your bipolar so as not to scare people away.

Thanks

[hamster-bamster]

I am planning to date when I clean my apartment. I plan to be really casual, without over-investment. I will not tell that I am bp - not until I will go with someone on a many day trip with a pillbox. I do not have symptoms of bp, I just take medications - that is the only thing that is a giveaway.

[Clinte89]

I told this girl im interested in rather candidly I did so because I figure if she cant handle that then she's not worth being around. I have an illness its not contagious and its part of my life but I wont let it define my life. She was ok with it not worried or upset at all.

[hamster-bamster]

I apply the same principle as that employed in data security: the need-to-know basis. If you are absent for an inpatient ECT, the girl needs to know where you are, so you tell her. She needs to know. Otherwise...

[girlwithbrownhair]

I wouldn't tell anyone right away. Let them get to know you a little, first...but before they fall well and truly in love. After 4 dates? Between 4 and 6 sounds good. Lol>>after all, they have secrets, too.

[vlad007]

You should not tell right away. At the beginning the most important its to make a connection between both of you. I believe that kind of stuff should be told when the relation become closer.

Not right off the bat, that's for sure. Just like with so many other sorts of information. Nothing worse than being barraged with TMI upon meeting someone. So when? Early, but not too early. Get to know each other well enough to be able to see if the relationship has actual potential.
Personally, I threw it on the table when I had another "confession" to make. As long as I was at it, you know?
He was fine with it. Turned out he has mental "stuff" as well. Like girlwithbrownhair said, they've got secrets too! So true!

As for how... personally, it was something along the lines of "I feel compelled to let you know..." and that I was totally cool with talking about it or answering any questions he might have.

[ElisaB]

I'm with Clinte.... get it out of the way! I haven't dated in over a decade (OMG, has it been that long?), but when I did I made sure they knew me for me... the good, the bad, the ugly!! Cause, let's face it, they're gonna see it sooner or later. Granted, some of the people I dated already knew me, but those that didn't, I didn't waste anytime in telling them what I had, what I take and to only call me crazy of they had a death wish!

[Livebythesea]

Originally Posted by girlwithbrownhair

I wouldn't tell anyone right away. Let them get to know you a little, first...but before they fall well and truly in love. After 4 dates? Between 4 and 6 sounds good. Lol>>after all, they have secrets, too.

LOL!!! So funny thank you

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by girlwithbrownhair

I wouldn't tell anyone right away. Let them get to know you a little, first...but before they fall well and truly in love. After 4 dates? Between 4 and 6 sounds good. Lol>>after all, they have secrets, too.

I like this too! Made me laugh. I told my boyfriend a couple months into dating him. Told him half truths about it and hinted at it. And you know what? Your behavior can pretty much give you away too. My bipolar was out of control in the beginning with the angry emails and phone calls I used to send him during my mania or depression. So they will find out. I say tell him/her if youre serious about them because they will eventually find out anyway. But as for the first date, yeah that can wait!

[Larfu]

If you date someone who knows about mental illness (is appropriately educated), there should be no problem if you are being treated. I understand there’s a stigma, however: if my partner is ever really going to "make it through" life with me, and my symptoms, shouldn’t we be straight with each other, and totally honest? Why wouldn't she want to know? Wouldn't she care that I had told her something REALLY NIMPORTANT about myself? The first thing on my online dating profile says is: "I'm Bipolar." That's because I AM. And that's never going to change (unless future people invent some way to actually alter your brain). It's who I am. Right down to the core of my soul, I am Biploar, and not afraid to say so to anyone. I don't think you should hide it. Ever. How are you going to get someone to love you, if you are too afraid to LOVE YOUR DISABILITY. BECAUSE YOU ARE A PERSON WHO DESERVES LOVE. From yourself, and others.

[hamster-bamster]

I disagree. Just as I would not put "I have migraines" on my soon-to-be-created online dating profile, I would not put "I am bipolar". What is the difference? Both are brain disorders, both are treatable and I receive treatment... why is it a potential partner's business? Back to the "need-to-know" principle: if I happen to have a migraine that requires that I cancel a date, then of course I will say "sorry I have a bad migraine" because it is relevant. Otherwise, it is not relevant.