I told my date that I am bipolar, my friends, how cool!

hamster-bamster · Jan 13, 2013, 11:30 PM

I went on a third date with someone named Randy, from Oklahoma, who eventuallyy came to the Bay Area by way of Colorado. He is a geek who works for a company right next to my employer.

We went to my favorite Afgani place at my suggestion. I told him about my trip plus taught him a couple of words in Russian, which he has been studying with a native speaker teacher.

We had awesome juicy lamb, my favorite meat. Awesome pumpkin. Awesome eggplant. Awesome salad with their signature yogurt dressing. I had red wine.

On our first date we went to another favorite mediterranean restaurant of mine but I did not enjoy because I was on Topamax.

This time I really liked the food, its taste, texture, and smell.

So I started telling him how much I enjoyed and how first time I was on this migraine medication Topamax which caused aversion to food and dizziness and many other bad things (meaning, but not saying it out loud, lack of orgasms) and how I am now off it and how I would rather persevere through more migraines but enjoy my life in~between them.

I was startled when in response he shared with me that he understands how medications can do both good. Things and bad things because he takes medications for depression and needed to try several ones before finding something that works. And also that sometimes they work for a while and then stop.

OK.

I asked what he is on. He said Lexapro.

I said that I take a tiny bit of Prozac but with me it was the first medication tried and instantly successful.

OK.

He keeps driving and says that his thyroid is causing his depression so he takes a thyroid mediication. I inquire which one. He says Levoxyl.

Then I say that I take Levoxyl too, because I am bipolar and take Lithium, the oldest and most traditional medication for bp, which does one bad thind, killing my thyroid, so I take. Levoxyl as an antidote.

He does not act surprised and explains that his situation is the opposite of mine, with the thyroid dysfunction preceding the illness. I nod with understanding.

Cool.

It reminded me of my inviting Peter, my black cat Tommys former owner, not as a date but to have him play with Tommy... at the end of the dinner poor Peter was done reciting the names of multiple antidepressants he tried. Again I said that I lucked out on Prozac which helped right away and.a.small dose does the job. But I am bp, not depressive, I said. He said that his mother is bp.

Where are mentally well people, may I ask?

hamster-bamster · Jan 13, 2013, 11:44 PM

Randy is totally nice and very excited and enthusiastic about me. We held hands. For a bit and kissed for a bit, all sweet and nice. I told him that I am happy that he found me. Heagreed. I plan to take it to the bedroom in several weeks. Not immediately for several reasons. First, I want to keep him guessing and build up suspence, tension, anticipation etc. For him. Second, I need to clean the apartment, with Carmens help. Third, it is the first time I am cool, rational, and even calculating a bi with respect to a romantic relationship, almost project~managing it, first ascertaining that he is a good fit for me and then only getting closer. And objectively, he is a great fit, he even has experience living with a woman who before him lived with an abusive man, and helping her recover.

In the meantime, G. has just landed and wants to see me tomorrow jet lag notwithstanding, which is OK, although I initially planned to invite her after Carmen comes but sure, he has already been to my messy place.plus I miss him and look forward to seeing him.

And,as an icing on the cake, Randy is polyamorous, so he won't demand, request, or expect any sacrifices on my part, and everything will be drama free.

manicminer · Jan 13, 2013, 11:46 PM

That's awesome. I had a similar experience.

When riding in the truck with my first boss out of college, I was talking about how I need to find insurance for all the meds I have to take. He asked why I take them. When I responded bipolar disorder, a great big smirk crept across his face and he exclaimed, "Hey I got that too!" and we proceeded to have a full convo of how and when we were both dx'd and what he has done to help control his over the years.

Congrats hamster!

hamster-bamster · Jan 13, 2013, 11:52 PM

Oh, and before the holidays I had a date with a guy who spent ten thousand dollars on a nine month course of therapy after his wiife cheated on him twice. The marriage lasted a year and a half only, just twice the duration of the therapy. The guy is thirty four, but much as I would have wished to reward his laudable pursuit of an older woman, I did not like him on too many levels.

I provoked Randys talking about Lexapro. The guy before the holidays started talking about his T completely unprovoked. By the way, how can you spend ten K on T in nine months?

Question ~ do other people go on dates with clients of pdocs and Ts or is it my unique luck?

hamster-bamster · Jan 13, 2013, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Oh, and before the holidays I had a date with a guy who spent ten thousand dollars on a nine month course of therapy after his wiife cheated on him twice. The marriage lasted a year and a half only, just twice the duration of the therapy. The guy is thirty four, but much as I would have wished to reward his laudable pursuit of an older woman, I did not like him on too many levels.

I provoked Randys talking about Lexapro. The guy before the holidays started talking about his T completely unprovoked. By the way, how can you spend ten K on T in nine months?

Question ~ do other people go on dates with clients of pdocs and Ts or is it my unique luck?

More unusual stories. That guy before the holidays is East Indian. I asked if the wife ws Indian or white. Neither, he said. She was from Palestine. As in an Arab woman from Palestine, I asked, trying hard to picture an Arab and an Indian living together. No, he said, a Christian from Palestine, and seriously Christian who did not allow premarital sex.

hamster-bamster · Jan 14, 2013, 12:00 AM

So there are Christian Palestinians who do not allow premarital sex but later engage in extra marital affairs. Live and learn.

~Christina · Jan 14, 2013, 12:01 AM

10,000 in 9 months is doable .. Stupid, but doable. maybe he needed 5 visits a week?

usbusi · Jan 14, 2013, 12:03 AM

Sounds good h-b. I would think h'e be more understanding if you are in an up or down mood than someone without a MI.

hamster-bamster · Jan 14, 2013, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethingswrong

10,000 in 9 months is doable .. Stupid, but doable. maybe he needed 5 visits a week?

Now you understand why I was not interested??? Cute guy, but, I mean, that was completely insane. And there were other red flags, too. And in general I think that complaining about cheating ex wife on the first date is tmi. I diid absolutely nothing to provoke that kind of disclosure. When he started talking about it, I started feeling that it. Was a support group rather than a date!

BipolaRNurse · Jan 14, 2013, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manicminer

That's awesome. I had a similar experience.

When riding in the truck with my first boss out of college, I was talking about how I need to find insurance for all the meds I have to take. He asked why I take them. When I responded bipolar disorder, a great big smirk crept across his face and he exclaimed, "Hey I got that too!" and we proceeded to have a full convo of how and when we were both dx'd and what he has done to help control his over the years.

Congrats hamster!

Funny you should mention it.....I was just chatting on FB with an old, old friend from high school whom I haven't seen since 1976, and the subject of mental illness came up because I'm pretty outspoken on it, on FB and elsewhere. So when I told her about my own diagnosis, she spilled to me about her brother, whom I also went to school with and is severely ill with BP. He's fought it badly for over 30 years and is addicted to drugs and alcohol, can't work, has been in and out of the hospital etc.

So there you have it---yet another example of taking a chance on sharing your bipolar story with someone who doesn't know you well, and coming out knowing their story. Kinda cool when you think about it......reminds us that we really aren't all alone out there.

~Christina · Jan 14, 2013, 12:24 AM

Hamster, you have a huge lake to fish out of... It's just fine to toss the minnows back

First dates should have nothing to do about past marriages or other relationships that had ended poorly. Isn't that dating 101?

Once ~
I went out on a date after my first marriage ended, I was divorced about 9 months. In the time it took the waiter to bring out rolls and ours drinks he had told me all about his 2 marriages, 4 or 5 kids he had, his depression and being in and out of drug rehab.. So here comes the drinks I slammed down my wine and his glass.Handed the waiter enough money to cover the wine and rolls and a nice tip and went home!

Had a good laugh about it.

hamster-bamster · Jan 14, 2013, 12:24 AM

We aren't alone indeed.

hamster-bamster · Jan 21, 2013, 12:56 AM

Had another date with Randy, the guy from Oklhoma who is on Lexapro. Do not have time to post a long story so I will just say that the twenty three year old son of Randys ex gf and current dear friend with whom (the son) Randy lived for five years and later remained involved in his life...was diagnosed with early onset bp in junior high and is now on. Several medications.