[Secretum]

Some of you read my thread on whether or not I should ask the love of my life out again. Well, I talked to her about it tonight...and was rejected...again. At first, I was really upset. I was mad at God and the universe (NOT at her. She can't control how she feels any more than I can.) I cried harder than I've cried in months. I just laid in my bed without even having changed my clothes, determined to just go to sleep feeling sorry for myself and wake up feeling even more miserable.

And then I realized...everything happens for a reason. This does not apply just to my present situation, but to every awful/"unfair" thing that has ever happened to me.

If I hadn't had parents who did not know how to respect my individuality, I wouldn't understand how important this is to parenting. I don't have kids yet, but I plan to someday, and my childhood experience will make me a better parent.

If I had never felt worthless, I wouldn't have as solid of a foundation to build my compassion for others on, especially those who believe or are told that they aren't very valuable.

If I had never been suicidal, I wouldn't be able to appreciate life as deeply as I do now that my depression is in remission.

And...if Emily hadn't rejected me, I wouldn't be able to have the excellent appreciation that I will have for my future wife. If, in the course of the next few years Emily's emotions towards me change and we end up together...I certainly won't take her for granted. Not after being rejected twice! And if, as is more likely, I end up with someone else, I will be able to love that person more deeply because I have learned more about love.

My life is an uphill battle. I haven't had it easy. But I am grateful for my struggles. I am who I am because I have suffered. Perhaps uphill battles are the only ones worth fighting?

that's a good outlook on things you are having.

good way to look at it

[~Christina]

Secretum

I know your hurting... but for you too come to the realization you have is outstanding and remarkable. I think anyone reading this post will take a step back and think about a few things as I have just done. So thank you

[hamster-bamster]

What a great attitude, Secretum! I hope reciprocated love comes your way really soon!