[Debi54]

So before I went home for Thanksgiving, my daughter apparently hates me enough that she found it necessary to trash my entire life. My mother will no longer speak to me, I had to throw my daughter and her boyfriend/husband, whatever she wants to call him, out of my house when I got back home, and now I can't pay my bills. Where I live there are very limited job options, so I decided I'm going to take my father up on his offer and go back home, where I came from. But my son wants to stay until he gets out of school for the year, and my dad wants us to stay until then, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to do that. Now that I made up my mind on a plan of action, I feel like I'm just killing time sitting here. My daughter and the boyfriend ran my light bill up so high it'll be impossible to pay, that was the whole problem, they were paying way less than they needed to be, and when I said something about it, she literally started screaming at me. I had let it slide for months, but everyone said I was being taken advantage of, and I knew it. Disability only goes so far. Now she's gone, and I don't even want to be in the same state with a child that obviously hates me that much. So now, I'm just sad. How did my life come to this? My kids were all I had to begin with.

[BlackPup]

sorry it must be so heartbreaking... Take things one day at a time till you make it back to your dads.

[roads]

My kids were all I had to begin with.

Children are so important--but they should never be all we have in our lives. Don't let that happen again. Build a support system, and you dad sounds great. Don't be his little girl though ... ask him to be your friend, and get you on your path--with his supportive friendship.
Post here often and learn all the coping strategies you can. Stay in touch!
Roadie

[nannywoofwoof]

Hi Debi
You must be feeling really let down by your daughter. You did the right thing in the long term I hope. Thank goodness for your Dad. Take one day at a time, and perhaps take some advice about paying your bills weekly till debts are paid.
One day your daughter will realise how badly she is behaving, but that may take years. She needs to grow up, and realise how tough it has been for you.
Take care Woofwoof

[twiddle]

It's a tough spot you are in but hang in there as best you can. Be thankful you have a loving Dad but make sure to sit down and talk with him about what is expected in your new situation.

I'm sorry your daughter is such a miserable git. I have an adult nephew (who unfortunately I live with) that is an ungrateful, immature clod. His sister isn't much better but she moved out.

If you are on disability -are you in the States? I don't think the power co. can shut you off and will work with you on paying down the bill. As to your other expenses talk to them and explain the situation and see what they say.

I am on SSI here in the States and getting paid once a month make it so hard to budget -especially food and other household essentials.

Come visit here and vent when you need to, we don't mind "listening"

[Clinte89]

Wow thats messed up that your daughter did that. But it sounds like your on the right track now at least. Well keep your head up and pushing forward it'll all work out for the better.

[Debi54]

Originally Posted by nannywoofwoof

Hi Debi
You must be feeling really let down by your daughter. You did the right thing in the long term I hope. Thank goodness for your Dad. Take one day at a time, and perhaps take some advice about paying your bills weekly till debts are paid.
One day your daughter will realise how badly she is behaving, but that may take years. She needs to grow up, and realise how tough it has been for you.
Take care Woofwoof

Thank you for the kind words. My daughter does need to grow up, I have been told this many times. I am beginning to despair that she ever will. She has already done irrepairable damage to our family by losing custody of my grandbaby to the state several years ago, and at the time I was ill and unable to take the baby. Now this. I don't understand how I raised a child that hates me so much. My father is a good man, but he doesn't understand my mental state at all, nor does my stepmother. They both seem to have an attitude of, if I just take enough medicine, or think a different way, or something, I don't know, the bipolar will simply go away. I'm not sure why they think this-it hasn't gone away after all these years. In fact, it only seems to get worse with time. I just learn to deal with it more with time. I just wish I could go now and get it over with, before my house of cards collapses completely.

[Debi54]

I am trying to hang in, like everyone says, but every time I start to let myself think about my situation, I start to panic, so I just try not to think about it. I am out of my anxiety medication till I see the doctor tomorrow (which I can't wait for), so I can't afford to let myself get all stressed out, because then I'll never stop. My natural instinct is to just run, go somewhere, but I can't because I have no gas and nowhere to go. So I just sit here and it's driving me crazy. My "boyfriend" I guess you could call him (used to be and we still see each other, mainly because he has never left me alone, I'm pretty much all he has and vice versa) just shows up at my house whenever he feels like it, which I hate. I like solitude, he doesn't.He just started a new job, which is great, because he's been gone for 3 days now. So peaceful, if not for the anxiety. Dreading getting the electric bill. And the thought of my daughter standing in my kitchen screaming, "What do you think my $200 a month rent pays for?" My electric bill will be higher than that, is she kidding? Who pays 200 a month? I wish I could. I'm on disability, my check only goes so far. I have a heart condition, maybe she was just trying to give me a heart attack. Either way, I'll survive, but this sure sucks.

[twiddle]

Just take it one day at a time. One hour if need be. I'm pretty much stuck in an intolerable living situation but I tell myself when I start to get stressed -it's better than being homeless. Just try to remember and I know it's hard but somewhere there's someone worse off than you.

[nannywoofwoof]

Wise words Twiddle.
I always think, no matter how bad things seem, one day you can look back and say, I survived. Keep us posted please debi and take care x

[Dragonfly33]

Originally Posted by Debi54

So before I went home for Thanksgiving, my daughter apparently hates me enough that she found it necessary to trash my entire life. My mother will no longer speak to me, I had to throw my daughter and her boyfriend/husband, whatever she wants to call him, out of my house when I got back home, and now I can't pay my bills. Where I live there are very limited job options, so I decided I'm going to take my father up on his offer and go back home, where I came from. But my son wants to stay until he gets out of school for the year, and my dad wants us to stay until then, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to do that. Now that I made up my mind on a plan of action, I feel like I'm just killing time sitting here. My daughter and the boyfriend ran my light bill up so high it'll be impossible to pay, that was the whole problem, they were paying way less than they needed to be, and when I said something about it, she literally started screaming at me. I had let it slide for months, but everyone said I was being taken advantage of, and I knew it. Disability only goes so far. Now she's gone, and I don't even want to be in the same state with a child that obviously hates me that much. So now, I'm just sad. How did my life come to this? My kids were all I had to begin with.

I feel your pain, I really, really do!!! Your daughter must be friends with mine. I'm stupified that this baby I grew in my body turned into this person that detests me with every fiber of her being. My family is very "sweep the BP thing under the rug" and let's pretend like you're not broken and maybe you won't be. It's exhausting.