which way where did he go where what?...how come I still don't know?

...how far back can I go and still find some real sh...t!....some real stuff?

...things that define me things that I can relate to?

...as time goes on I feel I'm getting further away from me ...so WHAT?...am I getting nearer to?...closer to?

I wake with memories of dreams accumulations superb idealism of where I was...

I shake with nightmares of illuminations disturb realism of where I will be!

I want to be who I was I want to return to the distance make it close enough I'm lost here in the time lapse....emotional abyss!

chasms....monsters...gnarled mind...mortal and unkind..

I want to be who I was before I discovered who I wasn't!

...just imagine?...huh?

wandering around in the history of ourselves...!

a moment is reached in everybody's life when time stops...just stops..

...and it's only upon forgetting to remember it...that the experience becomes part of time gone forever and the loss is severe!

...how do you fill in the gaps now that never were?.. it flowed before... now it drifts much much more...

is the mind ...?...like does it have a limit what it can hold...contain?

when does it stop recording?...and why does it grieve so much cos it couldn't keep up with things....

cos things keep happening...but I'm already carved up!...sculpted by my memories.

...dang!