Strandsofluidity

Let me introduce myself. I am a BP, ADHD woman who was diagnosed 10 years ago. I have accepted my diagnoses and am compliant with my meds. Here is the issue, I have recently moved in with my mother who has Bipolar, ADHD AND Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is NOT medicated. This is extremely difficult for my husband, 12 year old son, and is critical to my success in lifestyle and sobriety. It takes every bit of energy for me to stay functional and now I have to carry a person who is in denial about practically everything. There is a LOT of familial garbage and history that is toxic to me.
Help!

Narcissists do not usually seek help.

How do you know that she has what you say she has?

Welcome to PC... Glad you found us.

My mother has a ton of undiagnosed psychiatric problems/issues/conditions, I'm pretty certain that my sister and I have taken the majority of our psych health from her side of the family. My mother is like your mother in that she will NEVER seek help for her problems because "her problems don't exist". By her frame of mind it is EVERYONE ELSE in the world that is wrong, no matter how many people there are.

I used to be the only one in my family who kept trying to help her. For years and years, no one but me would even associate with her. It lead to nothing but pain and suffering year after year after year, until I had to say enough is enough.

YOU can say it, too. You cannot make others get help, nor should you feel like you have to carry *anyone* even your mother. I know that living with her is a HUGE issue right now, but perhaps while you guys are thinking of coming up with a better solution for living elsewhere you could have a family meeting with your husband and your son abt your mothers health and bring up that you need them to stay strong for the success of your family, and that you cannot force your mother to get help, & to hang in there. That sort of thing. Your husband, son, and you need to STAND STRONG TOGETHER to make it through this, it is CRUCIAL! You do not need your mother to do anything for you to work out your own problems in the end.

The sooner you can let go of that "garbage" as you put it, the sooner you can heal. Trust me, I know! I never thought I could ever go on and heal without my mother addressing her craziness and pain she caused our family. Seek the help of a counselor as often as you can, talking it out with others is therapeutic as h***. I would try your best to disassociate yourself from your mother as much as you possibly can. Be unavailable to her if she is not going to support or help you, keep busy, be out of sight. Remove her from the equation because that sort of thing is poison to your recovery. Good luck to you sweetheart, and if you need to talk, I am here.

Maybe you can slowly coakes her to go get help. Good luck and stay strong.

I know with certainty and confirmation that she has what she has.

welcome

Welcome to PC