[swirls409]

My husband, who has bipolar disorder, and I have been trying to conceive for over a year. Me, being the female, have had to to have extensive procedures done to check on my fertility. My husband told me he would have his sperm count checked, then freaked out a few weeks later telling me there was no way he would ever do that. I know..I know...guys have a weird feeling about doing such a thing, but his freak out wasn't a normal freak out. A couple weeks went by and I explained to him the procedures I had to have done. Once he heard the details he decided a sperm evaluation wasn't too bad. Now I am on fertility medicine...my body is going through a lot. He is doing one of his wispy washy deal where he wants a baby, but hen doesn't, so he won't touch me. Not only will he not touch me, but he throws a literal, mean, unfriendly, hateful fit. I really don't know what to do. With the holidays and all, he gets so testy and mean. I have to walk on eggshells around him, because I'm afraid I will contribute to his depression that usually turns into a manic episode. I was born to be a mother, so this entire situation absolutely kills me. I do not know what to do, or ow to go about anything with him without feeling scared that he is going to flip out hardcore on me. Just don't know what to do.

[BlueInanna]

I know you want a baby and trying hard, but he doesn't sound stable. Sorry. I only see added stress of a baby making things harder. It's hard for me when people ask about this cuz it's such a personal decision. But you must want responses so I give my honest feeling. Wish you both the best.

[swirls409]

Yes, I know. Truly his "episodes" go in spurts. He will be awesome for months, and then for a few weeks things will happen like this. OR big events trigger his mood also. We have been through counseling, and he has been through counseling himself. Has been doing amazingly well compared to when hew as first diagnosed. Thanks for your thoughts!

[faerie_moon_x]

Is your husband in any type of treatment for his bipolar?

I have 3 kids and I have bipolar. It's rough sometimes. I know treatments for fertility is extremely expensive, so not really good to be wishy/washy about it once you're in it. I think since you're still trying, that he needs to get into treatment if he's not. And if he's in treatment he needs to let his doctor/therapist know if he's struggling. If he's very volitile, I don't know if a baby will be such a good thing.

[BlackPup]

Sounds like a really hard situation to be in .
My hubby was a bit weird about trying to conceive. The counting the days and planned sex really freaked him out - he likes to be spontaneous! - and he felt like I was using him just to get pregnant. Plus he's really worried about what it will be like to be a dad.
I tried to be as sensitive as I could to his feelings as kept things as stress free as possible. For him it was easier to keep the whole getting pregnant thing out of his face and quiet so he didn't have to deal with the emotional roller coaster that is trying to conceive. Now I'm 23 weeks and he's just beginning to relax about the whole pregnancy thing!

Good luck and hugs, it's stressful enough without your hubby's issues. I hope you can get through this and have a happy and healthy family. I think some extra therapy would be a good thing to achieve that.

[swirls409]

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts my husband is currently being treated and 80% of the time is good to go.

Blackpup...your words made me feel a zillion times better

[Eliza Jane]

Can I ask how old you are? It is a different situation depending on whether you are 25 or 35.

It is a hard situation for sure. I have had a boatload of issues around my marriage and pregnancy. I feel for you and hope you can find the right solution for you.

Best,
EJ

[swirls409]

I am 25. I'm happy that I am young and this is all going on so we can work on dealing with it now. He was diagnosed 3 years ago.

[hamster-bamster]

I found out by accident that the drug Metformin, developed in 1920s and costing twenty bucks a month without insurance, raises the chances of pregnancy while being safe. You may want to see if you can tolerate it.