..thats my plan for this year.

and beyond.

it's clearly obvious I'm this way...mentally ill..!

my brain don't work right...properly...normally..

what a bunch of humiliating words huh?

...my brain "don't do whatever the hell it don't want to do!"

and thats all there is to it!

..it's past "screw the world" about it!

...it's time to settle in for the mental ride and indulge in the experience..

like I'm the first?!....WHAT!

[faerie_moon_x]

I think we should all be more proud of ourselves for being mentally ill. I don't think it should be a bad word. Maybe that sounds funny. But we are who we are and no one should make us feel less because of it.

we're the same as anyone else

we should take pride in being "mentally ill", we can do what everyone else does- we feel what everyone else feels, just in diffrent ways

[BlueInanna]

No it is humiliating to me. I hide it and think I'm hiding it but whoever I worry may know prob already knows I'm not normal. Not like them. Don't really wanna be them anyway. But still I'm ashamed and that's no good for me. Gotta lose my shame somehow.

[shlump]

I don't hide it. Not possible anyway.

The intensity and creativity, the depth. Can't say I'd want to be anyone else.

Hugs, Blue. I hope you can put the shame away and find the joy in sharing the nuttiness with friends

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

No it is humiliating to me. I hide it and think I'm hiding it but whoever I worry may know prob already knows I'm not normal. Not like them. Don't really wanna be them anyway. But still I'm ashamed and that's no good for me. Gotta lose my shame somehow.

I have to say that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Despite the fact that you've been dealt a very difficult hand, you are an amazing person. And you just have so much on your plate you can't see it right now. But, honestly, you have dragged you and your kids every step and fight for them even when they don't give you a reason to fight for them any more.

Knowing there is BlueIanna in the world and she has bipolar, I know that people with bipolar are powerful people.

[BipolaRNurse]

I really don't like the term "mentally ill" and have a great deal of difficulty applying it to myself. I don't feel sick, I just have a brain that processes things differently than most peoples'. TBH, I can't imagine life without the intensity, the poetry, the rollercoaster ride, and really wouldn't want to try.

As for terminology, I prefer to use "mentally interesting" or simply "bipolar" to describe my condition. I'm not ashamed of it---I didn't ask for it and it's not my fault that I have it. All I can control is my response to it, and I choose to tackle it head-on because it's NOT going away.

Yes, I agree with everyone. This is an illness that can be inherited, and how can we feel guilty about a genetic makeup? Please try to realize that this illness is not one of intellect--it's one of moods.

Of the two, intellect and moods, I much prefer having a mood problem (which I can work on) rather than an intellectual problem that is much less likely to respond to care and management.

Besides, many of you have been gifted in artistic ways, in addition to being intelligent, so let's open the door to the realization that we have something good going for us that not all people will ever understand.

Being sensitive to beauty, appreciating poetry, loving nature, painting, sculpting, etc., seeing the uniqueness of other people, and handling their difficulties with respect and care, trying always to keep our stability and making it easier with each dietary change or bits of help from our psychiatrists keep the wheels oiled and turning pretty well for most of us.

There's even a spiritual aspect to this that, if we are capable of receiving it, has a huge impact on the feeling tone because we are released largely from the imprisonment of the ego. (And that's what conversion is--a burning of the ego.)

I wish everyone the good use of the gifts you have been given in bipolar structure.

(In one country 45% of the people there are bipolar. Yet, they are a country which has never, to my knowledge, been involved in a major war. I won't mention the times the U.S. has been involved in wars since the revolution.)

It's peace, Good Peope, that's available in this illness in my view that many may never know who are not bipolar and unaware that they can do things in a positive way to enrich life for all.

Good wishes,

Genetic

[faerie_moon_x]

Thanks, Genetic!

It's very true. We shouldn't have to be ashamed of anything. Our society is the ones that make us feel this way and it's wrong. And I agree, maybe we have some issues that we deal with, but we do have gifts, too.

At the diabetes classes at my work, we have an ice breaker with questions for the patients, and one of those is "what is one good thing about your diagnosis." It seems like an odd question. But the truth is, there is good in bad, and sometimes you have to find that silver lining.

[Clinte89]

I agree there is nothing to be ashamed of. Its not like we choose this lifestyle it chose us. Its just one of those things where life isnt always fair but everyone has their burden to carry and ours just happens to be a mental illness thats all. Keep our head up james. You got the right attitude about it I think. Be free to be mentally ill.

[manicminer]

We joke about it at work. They tell me to let them know, "what day to wear red".

The midnite man joked, "If one night I come to the window and Phil's sitting there in a headband and camo, dressed like Rambo, I'm turning right around and going home." hahaha

freedom to be who we really are???
ha!
there is freedom I guess, but that comes when we are alone.
at least for me, I feel relief anymore when I am alone....
I can let my thoughts finally go and I can finally stop monitoring myself and feel what I am feeling without controlling them all for the fortune of others....

freedom isn't free...
it is found...
and once you find it....
you have to protect it and keep it safe...

if you share it with anyone....
they will surely betray you and take it away with them...
leaving you with nothing....
it's us against them i think anymore....

could you imagine a world...
where the mentally ill came together...
sort of a clickish group we would be....
and we would have all the fun in the world...
and the 'normal' people would all be jealous...
and some would even fake it to be included in our group...
and we would be the envy of the world...
lol.....

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

freedom to be who we really are???
ha!
there is freedom I guess, but that comes when we are alone.
at least for me, I feel relief anymore when I am alone....
I can let my thoughts finally go and I can finally stop monitoring myself and feel what I am feeling without controlling them all for the fortune of others....

freedom isn't free...
it is found...
and once you find it....
you have to protect it and keep it safe...

if you share it with anyone....
they will surely betray you and take it away with them...
leaving you with nothing....
it's us against them i think anymore....

good to see you Land the man bro!

well you sure have implicated freedom right there itself trapped no more because it suddenly knows it aint free...

not until you keep it to yourself!?

..and yet it's invalidated without numbers...

so what the hell is this thing man?

I'm right now in trouble for my mentally ill actions...and it wasn't freedom that I enjoyed...

I often do what I don't want to do...

society don't like this much

nononono... freedom is VALIDATED until it is assigned numbers lol

The tiger is loose this morning--meaning mine.

Invalidated by whom? In my view, it's the ego, man, that gets in our way of everything. Without that driving our thinking, we become inwardly free and that's the only kind of freedom that really lasts, again-- in my view.

I don't really give a hoot about what others think, frankly, in terms of mental illness.
I know what I know, just as you do, and EVERYBODY has a burden to carry of one
type or another. (And I never use the term "normal", because that's not really real; it's just an idea of one kind of behavior.)

We do well to all care for one another's well-being. That's my understanding of
why we're all in this world.

We need to give ourselves more inwardly free days to be happy, I think.

Genetic

I think freedom is that time that we have to just be ourselves without any worry about having to perform or act a certain way for others. for me this freedom only comes for an hour or so in the morning and I often wonder how I would act if I was free as the day goes on and I know I could never do that cuz it would ruin everything that I have worked for.... ugh.... all that in one breath..

freedom is alone time with coffee.... typing away on a board that my wife will never see....

freedom is not regulating my emotions,, but letting them out to play for a bit,, like taking the dog for a walk lol...

if I share this freeedom with anyone... I would no longer be free... but online is different cuz you become who I need you to be.

I picture you as being like the nature guy on tv... going around wrestling alligators and discovering all the new snakes and animals! I picture you living alone but having many girlfriends coming over......
lol..... how do you picture me?

who you talkin' too bud?

lmao.... Idk... just having fun. you could be the nature guy james... I could see that! prolly nowhere near the truth... but we all have ideas of what the other person is like.... lol

I live in a three bedroom house in the suburbs of arizona. all the homes look alike here. My neigbor across the street from me keeps bringing me food cuz he thinks I am always broke lol. I live with my wife and two girls and I work with a guy named jeff. we do the landscape maintenance on fridays... 15 properties... and for the rest of the week we have the checksmart account for all the maintenance on their properties.

I have two dogs, both girls. that is me!

cool ...

I live in an expensive suburb in probably the most geographically isolated town in some of the world anyway...most people here are up themselves I'm a freak!

but only I know this and most of the people in my street and all their buddies....

the lawns are perfect and the hedges are symmetrical....it's outstanding what rich people have the time to do...

I'm poor...but my toothbrush is new

ok.. got it! you live kinda like I do... maybe it's the suburbs that is making us mad! we need to escape! lol.

i know.. we can escape to Rio! Blue knows where it is... we can pick her up on the way. We can take turns beating up her sons drug dealers just for fun and then escape to Rio!