[liviacat]

So I guess it can go without saying: the trip to Rio de Janeiro was absolutely amazing - mania, sleeplessness and all - who cared? I was surrounded by beaches, mountains, a new culture, a new country, sights, sounds, foods, shrimps the size of small lobsters... It was incredible. I was so lucky and blessed to be with best friends and my amazing boyfriend who was so supportive of all my quirks (yes please, try to avoid the crowds and get to the airport 3 hours early...)

And now I'm back. I knew this was all waiting for me when I got here - the impending doctor visits, changes of meds, insomnia (that didn't change in Brazil at all, it was just more entertaining there...) the looming hospital stay, all the negativity of others of "why did you go if you knew you'd just have to go to the hospital anyway?"

Does anyone here understand why I would choose to get away before facing these unpleasantries? It makes sense to me at least - gives me some positive and beautiful memories to hang on to where things were close to normal... I dipped my toes in waters in a whole other continent! This memory will help me (I think) when I'm alone in the hospital as they try to figure out why I haven't slept more than 2.5 hours, at best, in almost 3 months with every sleep med known to my pdoc.

The latest one, Saphris, is netting me 2 hours of sleep - anyone have any success with this one? Aside from it tasting horrible....I don't see a benefit...

Anyway. Sorry for the long post - thanks for reading. Am I wrong for being happy for "checking out" for a little while? Some people are trying their best to make me feel guilty, like I should be ashamed of myself.... Any input you have, positive or otherwise - I'd really like to hear from you

[venusss]

If it was not for travel and the craziness and memories connected with it... i would be long time gone.

Treasure the memories and let yourself time to settle... coming back is always hard ... but in the end it's worth it.

[hamster-bamster]

I do not understand why certain people try make you feel ashamed but at any rate it is definitely not nice of them.

[cybermember]

Originally Posted by liviacat

So I guess it can go without saying: the trip to Rio de Janeiro was absolutely amazing - mania, sleeplessness and all - who cared? I was surrounded by beaches, mountains, a new culture, a new country, sights, sounds, foods, shrimps the size of small lobsters... It was incredible. I was so lucky and blessed to be with best friends and my amazing boyfriend who was so supportive of all my quirks (yes please, try to avoid the crowds and get to the airport 3 hours early...)

And now I'm back. I knew this was all waiting for me when I got here - the impending doctor visits, changes of meds, insomnia (that didn't change in Brazil at all, it was just more entertaining there...) the looming hospital stay, all the negativity of others of "why did you go if you knew you'd just have to go to the hospital anyway?"

Does anyone here understand why I would choose to get away before facing these unpleasantries? It makes sense to me at least - gives me some positive and beautiful memories to hang on to where things were close to normal... I dipped my toes in waters in a whole other continent! This memory will help me (I think) when I'm alone in the hospital as they try to figure out why I haven't slept more than 2.5 hours, at best, in almost 3 months with every sleep med known to my pdoc.

The latest one, Saphris, is netting me 2 hours of sleep - anyone have any success with this one? Aside from it tasting horrible....I don't see a benefit...

Anyway. Sorry for the long post - thanks for reading. Am I wrong for being happy for "checking out" for a little while? Some people are trying their best to make me feel guilty, like I should be ashamed of myself.... Any input you have, positive or otherwise - I'd really like to hear from you

Why should you feel guilty or ashamed of yourself for going away and having a good time? Did anyone get hurt? Were there unmet responsibilities? If not, then there's nothing wrong with you getting away sometimes. Just know that there are miserable people out there who, for whatever their reason, like to rain on a good parade. But for me, the detailed snippet that you gave about your fun time in Rio actually allowed for me to revel in your delight as if I were there with you too!

[~Christina]

Most people, Bipolar or not would take a trip to just get away from there troubles or lousy job or any number of s hitty things. The fact someone would "assume" you will need a hospital stay is ridiculous ! so what if you do? or dont?

You had a great time and shoving BP out of your mind for a while it good great perfect thing.

Sometimes you just have to turn a deaf ear to the people in your life that haven't a damn clue about BP. I have one person in my life that just has to ask me crap like " hows your bipolar? are you taking your meds ?do you feel okay? are you manic? depressed? " My reply is " Hows the weather?" ... that's all, I refuse to discuss it.

I'm glad you had a fun trip with loads of memories and great times.

Hang in there

glad you enjoyed reo (i now get dan's thread he started on reo!)

what was your best part

[liviacat]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

glad you enjoyed reo (i now get dan's thread he started on reo!)

what was your best part

The best part? I have to choose?? Oh my.... I think it was our morning breakfast buffet style at the hotel then walking across the street to walk lazily on the beach before anyone was really up. Seeing the mountain storms dissipate into the ocean was beautiful! There were so many great things there....

Originally Posted by liviacat

The best part? I have to choose?? Oh my.... I think it was our morning breakfast buffet style at the hotel then walking across the street to walk lazily on the beach before anyone was really up. Seeing the mountain storms dissipate into the ocean was beautiful! There were so many great things there....

it does sound beautiful!- and i am glad you enjoyed it.

do you have friends/ family over their?

what sort of food did they have in the hotel

[liviacat]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

it does sound beautiful!- and i am glad you enjoyed it.

do you have friends/ family over their?

what sort of food did they have in the hotel

We travel with some friends who one of which is from there - she has family there and we spent some time with them (it doesn't hurt that they are pretty well-off and very hospitable) so it's very helpful that we have a native speaker with us when we go. This is the second time we've gone! We love it so much!

It is quite beautiful - the juxtaposition of mountains and ocean and the collision of climates is amazing to see and experience. And the food! What's not to like? The fruit alone is worth traveling for, you've never had better in your life. Seriously. The seafood rivals any I've had living in any state here in the US, the shrimp are like lobsters compared to Florida's and much more flavorful. But my secret treat was a donut-type breakfast item that was a bit heavier than donut batter, fried up and drowned in cinnamon-sugar with another spice I could never identify. Delicious!

Enjoyed it immensely, thank you - and thanks for asking - I like reliving it any chance I can get! I'm going to have to make my decision to go to the hospital sometime within the week, so these memories are bound to get me through a rough night or two I'm sure

Originally Posted by liviacat

We travel with some friends who one of which is from there - she has family there and we spent some time with them (it doesn't hurt that they are pretty well-off and very hospitable) so it's very helpful that we have a native speaker with us when we go. This is the second time we've gone! We love it so much!

It is quite beautiful - the juxtaposition of mountains and ocean and the collision of climates is amazing to see and experience. And the food! What's not to like? The fruit alone is worth traveling for, you've never had better in your life. Seriously. The seafood rivals any I've had living in any state here in the US, the shrimp are like lobsters compared to Florida's and much more flavorful. But my secret treat was a donut-type breakfast item that was a bit heavier than donut batter, fried up and drowned in cinnamon-sugar with another spice I could never identify. Delicious!

Enjoyed it immensely, thank you - and thanks for asking - I like reliving it any chance I can get! I'm going to have to make my decision to go to the hospital sometime within the week, so these memories are bound to get me through a rough night or two I'm sure

you are quite welcome... it's nice just to listen to others talk about the fun time they had- and another culture all together.

i've never traveled out of my country, and i don't have any plans too... so it's even better- reading the words of what someone has to say... makes you feel you are their.

the food sounds lovely- when it comes to sea food (though i'm not big on it) i do enjoy muscles

the hospital thing... well, what ever you decide, i'm with you all the way- and i'm sure others will back me up

will try and think of some more questions to ask about rio- in order for you to hold on to those memories.

if their's something you want to say about it, you can reply to this thread or pm me anytime

[thickntired]

I say to heck with all of them - travel your heart out! IMO you're gaining in the long run

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

[liviacat]

Really appreciate that TnT - I think so too (for the most part, on most days...)!
Today's just a little rough around the edges so I'm looking at some photos from the trip - how funny is it that you can hop on a plane and literally BE across the world from where you are now in such a short time? It's definitely a trip!! Lol

[BlackPup]

Don't listen to them. Do they understand what you have to go through. You need to grab what happiness you can to get through the hard times. Rio sounds great. Enjoy the memories and good luck with the treatment.

[liviacat]

So it's pretty much all set - I go to the hospital Monday (finally) to deal with my mania and insomnia. As a few of you know, I haven't really slept in about three months and no one really knows how I'm still coherent, keeping my job, or still putting sentences together. I've been lucky the past few nights I've gotten about 2.5 hours of sleep in a row - almost made me think I didn't need to go anymore - but realistically that's not the case, is it?

I'll be honest, I'm scared and apprehensive. I've had one experience with inpatient before almost three years ago (I was a severe alcoholic, thank goodness that's not the case anymore, I've been sober ever since that day) and I can't say it was a very "relaxing" sort of time. I'm not naive, there were others in there dealing with much worse problems than my own and I'm sure that'll be the case this time as well. The question I have is will I get the rest I need while I'm there? I know I have a bit of technology addiction issues, so I'm apprehensive about going off the grid, as it were... I'm not a phone person, just emails and texts, that's how I stay connected to my family and friends. I highly doubt they'll let me have my phone/iPad in there... Gosh, I sound whiny. Sorry.

I guess I just don't know what to expect and it's stressing me. I didn't know what to expect in Rio either to some extent, but there was a palatable reward. Does that make sense? I'm not exactly going to have vacation pics from Restful Psych Ward #3... I guess I need to change my attitude and think of it as that I will get the help I need and have a good base for ongoing care to control my BP, who knows? Maybe I'll make a friend or two along the way. Maybe it's the best trip I can take right now that will have the most benefit for the long haul.

This got to be a long post - thanks for reading. And as always, any input is always welcome and appreciated!

[~Christina]

Ahhh Liviacat ,

I think this is probably a good thing for you. Your Insomnia has gone on to long. Its time to really get your treatments on track.

I went inpatient before because I wasn't sleeping and it was the reason I was so unstable. Where I have been inpatient they don't offer more time to relax and sleep. I was on the same schedule as everyone else. But they did tackle my insomnia head on. Sleeping a regular schedule same as everyone else was beneficial to me. Loads of group therapy to help cope function manage my life.

My Psych Hospital did not allow cell phones or computers and altho I about freaked out... It was okay to unplug and work on me. I did have "phone time" to actually call anyone I wanted or needed to. Visitation was only once a week... Sounds terribly strict right? It really was what was best for me.

I have made numerous friends while there and a few I still keep in contact with.

[liviacat]

Thanks Christina - thanks helpful I'm sure it will be the best thing, I'm just nervous that's all... Perfectly normal, right? LOL I also bet it won't be the worst thing in the world for me to unplug for a bit too - I'm just really thankful I've got a supportive family and boss who has flatly said I won't lose my job over this medical leave! Guess I'll be really enjoying this weekend

You really went to Rio???????? I keep joking about escaping to Rio..... and you really went!

[liviacat]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

You really went to Rio???????? I keep joking about escaping to Rio..... and you really went!

You should go!! The first chance you get - definitely! We absolutely loved being there