brother on the verge of using a website he's accessed for 8 years

wanted to post this before it drove me mad- get some advice with what you guys do about this!

so, anyway, where i am, their are 3 of us that share the same computer- so naturally, when someone else signs up to a forum or what ever, it uses the same IP address as the other person... if that makes sense

anyway we don't tell each other wat sites we use- to avoid that happening

anyway:

a few years ago i signed up on this forum called the realm, well this was back in the days when my brother would tell me what sites he used

anyway my brother got the blame for creating another acount with the forum, and we were both banned from using it (which is ashame because it was a good site, and his original acount.. he was a moderator their)

anyway more recently

as i've just said, we don't share our web activity anymore

anyway- last week, i signed up on this site- it's just a place where you can play a few games, talk to people, post on forums, etc.

yesterday i got a message from 1 of the moderators, notifying me that someone other than me loggs in from this IPP address, and that multiple acounts by the same person are not allowed

she said, that because of this, both our acounts (mine and my brothers) would be banned from using the site

i was really hurt, but replied the best i could.. i just said, we use the same PC, we live together, where's the harm in it if we're diffrent people on the same address?

the moderator responded... okay, yeah i understand that- but how do i know that you're not the same person?

left me feeling really sick... i can see her reasoning kind of, but i'm also mad at her because she should take in to acount that these situations do happen

so.. anyway, i stayed online for another half hour, and the moderator left without banning our acounts (and this morning we're both still active on their), but still i can't help thinking she's planning something:

so, i've been trying to think how to handle it (i'm not the best when it comes to speaking to moderators)

do i write to her, or do i just leave it? and if i write to her, what do i say?

i was thinking of something like:

dear clare,

this is such and such a person, who just signed up on your site

while i understand your reasoning, and that you have to check these things, please bear in mind that my brother has used your comunity for 8 years, he still has and active acount- so has no reason to create another one. i know we like a lot of the same stuff, and from our profiles, it looks like we're no diffrent... but hey, that's what family do. share a lot of the same likes, experiences, etc

i hope you, or 1 of the other moderators knows my brother well enough- and knows that he wouldn't do such a thing (create a new acount when his old acount is still active)

thanks

insert username here

but the more and more i thought about it, the more and more i thought... well i'd be so anxious to write to them!. and what if i'm making things worse as well if i do that

i also thought about leaving it, because when the moderators told me they would bann both acounts (it was like 1130 PM, and i logged out that site at 12 15.. and when i logged out, all the moderators had left and done nothing- so i don't know if i should step in, or let things play out

also both our acounts were working this morning... so the moderators had a whole night to do something, and they didon't- well i've not even checked if a moderator's been on since i left.

what should i do

thanks

I would probably write to them and clarify the situation with them just to make sure If you can explain the situation they shouldn't ban you... and even then, knowing is probably better than sitting around not knowing if the account is going to be banned.

Having been a moderator on other sites it is actually pretty common for people with the same IP to log on, especially on the bigger and more popular forums. As long as they can explain that and don't show any suspicious activity it is usually left alone. Often it just takes one or two PMs to explain the situation.

thanks for the quick and detailed reply!

i was going to PM clair this morning while she was offline, but kind of chickened out- but i will do it... thanks!

I've been a moderator on a couple of other websites (and am still modding at one of them) and dealt with many "sockpuppets"---people who create multiple accounts, or create second or third or more accounts after the previous account is banned.

Yes, we tend to be immediately suspicious if we note the same IP address for several different accounts, and usually bring down the ban-hammer after we've given them a chance to explain. The troublemakers are pretty easy to spot, though---most are dumb enough not to know that we can figure out who they are by their posting styles. Occasionally, however, we investigate and find that the member lives with others who also visit the site and use the same computer, and those we'll let go.

I think that's what happened with the mods at your site---they likely checked out your story and it added up, so they'll probably leave you guys alone. You can always clarify it with them, and a good moderator will be glad to answer any questions you may have. Don't be afraid of them; they are not just there to police the site, but serve as resources and guides.

If you feel like going through the trouble I know you can set up multiple op addresses so 2 or so people don't have to use the same address......you can try to google or I can find some links for you

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thanks for that.

just out of interest, how can they " check out the story to see if it all adds up?"

their's really no way of telling- i'd be interested in how you guys find out if it's other people living with the person, or that person.. how do you check up on it?

They probably can tell because you're not logged into the same computer at the same time doing multiple things. I once got very involved in some online gaming where I had an alt for spying purposes opened at the same time and got banned for a few days. They actually figured it out because I used my main email address as my backup email address on one of them. It's good I don't play that one anymore!

Clare wrote to you, "how do I know you're not the same person?". I would write back a short and sweet, "I promise you we are different people. Is there anything I could/should do to confirm this? Thank you for your help!"

Catch more bees with honey than with salt. (Is that the right saying?) This type of social confrontation isn't always easy but you can do it! Good luck.

A lot of times we simply have to go on instinct. What I do is send PMs to each account and see how they explain things. You can tell a lot about people by their tone and their use of grammar and syntax---their age, their occupation, even their outlook on life.

It's not a perfect system; some "problem children" slip through and create havoc until they're banned, or they post on some other forum bragging about how they fooled the mods at X site.. But we watch all new members fairly closely, and if they don't cause trouble, we usually let them go on, even if it means a few people get away with multiple accounts (as long as we don't know about it officially).

it's interesting how you all do it... really!

i've always wanted to ask questions about moderating and stuff, but not really found a moderator that i can really talk to

i was also moderator once (a junior moderator of a computer website) which totally sucked- because i suck at technology!. and, i didon't have access to many features... checking IP address, varifying acounts, etc- i couldn't do all that unfortunately. their was very few members too!

i guess i should update you on the situation..

yesterday i logged in twitter, and clair was their posting random facts about crocodiles. i tweeted her asking about how she knew crocodiles were bigger killers than sharks, and she replied normally

not checked today- to see if my acount is their, but i suppose if i did get banned or something, i'd get an email from the site?

Yes, you'd probably get an E-mail notifying you that your account has been suspended/banned, or if you got a warning or infraction. If this has not happened yet, it more than likely won't.

i'm starting to think it will happen on sunday evening

clair's not been on the site since then, and all the other mods havon't banned us- and they've been on, i've seen theem

problem with clair is, she is very firrm- i think once i see clair go online and realise that she's not touched our acounts, i'll believe we are goog.. but if she does, then i'm going to feel so stupid for spoiling that site for him (and actually i like it too!)

can you guys just use the same screen name and share the sites?

well, not really..

because we post about diffrent things- and it would look totally weird if i came on his acount posting about cars, for example and everyone else responded... what such and such doing talking about cars?. lol

also if he got a message (a private message from another user) and i logged in and saw his list of messages, he may not like that
lol- nice idea though

You can set another ip address

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I think you should be fine, and if not would you consider letting him have the site since he has been there so long already and you look for another? If it came to it they would probably compromise and ban one of the accounts so the other could remain active.

I really don't think that will happen though. Having modded and seen mods on many sites this sort of thing happens quite a lot The fact that you have explained it should be enough. That is why they PM you first and don't just ban the accounts. They want to give you a chance to explain in case there is another reason.