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#1
Jan 14, 2013, 06:53 AM
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sorry i haven't posted in so long. things have been great with the new baby and all. I'm really enjoying being a mother to my son. I mean i'm surviving off of less than 5 hrs of sleep within a 24 hr period, and eating once a day (some days not at all.) but it's a great experience.
The only problem is when my sons asleep I get so depressed about everything, and my thoughts start racing.. and i'm back to being that crazy chick with bipolar disorder. It doesn't help that my son's father keeps popping up randomly making things worse. he kept harassing me on facebook, so i blocked him. and last night he had the woman he cheated on me with call my house. She was trying to convince me to let him see the baby. He's such a coward. He hasn't called himself or even tired to do one thing for the baby. This situation with him is constantly a strain on my sanity. I can't stand the thought of having him in the same room as me. I can't even imagine putting my baby in middle of that. Anyway, that phone call has really put me in a psychotic rage... and i'm mentally fuming. I can't sleep... I keep obsessing over everything in my head.. and it's driving me nuts. I just want to scream and punch at something until my hands are all bloody. but i'm keeping everything in because I refuse to show that side of me to my son. All i keep thinking is how long can i keep this up?! I would love to back on my meds but I'm breastfeeding. it kills me that i might have to sacrifice whats best for my son, so i don't lose my mind. 
__________________
" We want the same things humans do: sex and power. The difference between us is that we are innately better at obtaining both. This is our greatest strength,and our greatest weakness." |
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#2
Jan 14, 2013, 07:04 AM
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sorry for how you're feeling.
but congrats on the son... that's cool how old is he now? |
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#3
Jan 14, 2013, 07:50 AM
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he's 7wks
__________________
" We want the same things humans do: sex and power. The difference between us is that we are innately better at obtaining both. This is our greatest strength,and our greatest weakness." |
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