Is it me...

Jan 16, 2013, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

You know what I want more than anything? Seriously... I want someone to sit down with me, sincerely, and tell me it's ok to give up. to reassure me that it would be ok and that I didn't have to do this anymore.

that would mean the world to me. to not have to fight through these emotions everyday.... just give into them..... without the consequences..... just to exist..... it's a fantasy that I have. it exists far away, out of reach. this person, they would be my angel, my saving grace.

I'm only learning too dan...in this absurd mental classroom!

I don't and will never dismiss or dis-respect the life escapee!

I've been an exit candidate for as long as I know and even more misery is yet to arrive!...unless I can twist it glorious somehow?

but how ?

forgive me for the bad news mate...but you are just gonna have to stick around ...(my hands flick in the air dismissive and accepting)

...(my expression is defeated!...yet complete)...

and...my (hands flick a bit more)

I don't paint mud green!

but I wear grassy shi...t all the way through the dirt

Jan 16, 2013, 05:18 PM

i know that. sometimes though.... times like now... it just seems such a peaceful thought. not chaotic, not anxiety driven or anything like that. just a peaceful, serene and almost magical thought. it just feels really natural right now. I know that I have to snap out of it, but it is mesmerizing......

oh well. back to reality.