[Br0k3nW1ng3d]

As I am getting properly medicated I am scared of losing my mania. I want to be better and not taking any dangerous gambles anymore, and I also want to get rid of my mixed episodes. But the truth is, after being unmedicated for years I am scared of being without the hypomania. I have gotten so used to that being my best parts that I dont know who I am without it. I am concerned my charisma will go away and i will be empty. I am worried my talents will deminish and my creativity will die.. I am scared I will lose me.

[Travelinglady]

I certainly can understand that. Of course, the danger is that hypomania can segue into mania. As long as your doc doesn't overmedicate you, it should be okay. I also enjoy being "up"--lively, creative, etc. Just make sure you are being monitored by your pdoc.

[hamster-bamster]

My mother loved the ups. She insisted on being treated for depression only because she did not see any problem with the highs. And she was able to find doctors who put her on massive doses of tricyclic AD drugs. I agree wit Payne, avoid overmedication and explain to the doctor about preserving your charisma and creativity, which are definitely your assets.

[BipolaRNurse]

Oh, dear Lord, do I ever love my 'highs'! I long for them when I'm down, and I crave them when I'm stable. I'm glad I have company, even though I wouldn't want anyone to be self-destructive like I am when I soar too high.

I'm doing really well right now, my mood is as even as it ever gets, and yet.......there's an absence of "wow". And the "wow" is what I miss when I'm normal, to the point where I actually asked my pdoc recently if he'd increase my tiny dose of Celexa to deal with the depression that had set in just after Thanksgiving. He just looked at me and said "I know what you want, and the answer is NO!!"

He wasn't being mean, in fact I know jolly well he was only looking out for my best interests (he is an awesome doctor) and he said it in a humorous tone of voice. But he meant it, because he does know how addicted I am to my hypomania; and as much as I love it, it's not good for me because it tends to turn on me. The euphoria and high energy eventually turns into irritability, anger, and continued high energy, which is the Trifecta of Doom for me. Believe me, you do not want to be around me when I fail to abort a hypomanic episode before the ugly side shows up......my family almost threw me out of the house last summer because I was so horrible to live with.

What gets me is, most of us BPers are intelligent, creative people; so why in the name of all that is reasonable are we so enamored of a state of being that we know does bad things to us?

[~Christina]

My Daughter is also Bipolar I and a musician.. It took numerous meds to find one that helps her bipolar yet leaves here creative side is intact .

Its possible, it just take some time and patience to find it.

[Br0k3nW1ng3d]

I think you all have awesome points to consider. Its just so odd to mourn it even though i still havent lost them yet.

[Darth Bane]

some things never change !!!!

like those who love "The corpse bride" love "Dark shadows" too !!!!!