[Moose72]

I don't know if this is something I should watch or not.

I woke up this morning after sleeping in not feeling like getting up. I wanted to go back to bed to just dream. I wanted to stay under the covers and just not think of anything but my distractions of dreams. I wanted to stare at the wall. I wanted to be nowhere at all. I succeeded at this until about noon, when my body kept making me get up to pee so I called a friend to go have lunch at Big Boy. I ended up calling another friend in the interim and felt some better by the time my other friend met me at the restaurant. I know its a bleak day out weatherwise, but I couldn't see that when I woke up. It was a nice conversation, and I don't feel sad, really, just I want to melt into nothingness. I can't, however, as I'm too awake. I wish I could write more, or something. My friend I talked to on the phone is always good at entertaining me. I don't recall feeling bad about anything in particular. I just don't want to do much. But here I am typing away on the board so that counts for something I guess. That's if this post gets read and doesn't fall onto page 2 before... *grumble grumble*....

[~Christina]

Could just be an off day. Cloudy and a cold front coming through here.. Are you sunny there?

[Moose72]

No its overcast and drizzly and dirty snow melting and mud and dead grass here, if that's a season. lol Thunderstorms too.

i have had times where i wanted nothing more than to melt away into nothingness... a dreary and hopeful thought sometimes. but you did call your friends, and that is much farther than I ever get when I am like that... so you should be proud of yourself for doing something!

[faerie_moon_x]

I get that feeling often, too. I just get this "I don't want to be here today" feeling. Like I just want to sit in my chair and be invisible. Just a sort of... meh... feeling.

I'm glad you felt a little better at the restaurant at least. Sometimes distractions are good.

[Clinte89]

Yes be proud of calling your friends. At least you got to that point. I hope your feeling better.

[Moose72]

And here it is I'm at the dining room table with the kids milling around and my friend next to me on the other laptop waiting for bedtime to roll around again. I am talking to my friend in Germany of 8 or 9 years that I wish I could meet. And just worrying about being in bed with my mind again and finding myself in bed tomorrow morning where I was but worse. I wish I COULD run away somehow. This weather isn't helping either. Its all muddy and dead grass and piles of dirty snow and drizzle and overcast on top of thunder... EWWW..

[faerie_moon_x]

I don't know, sometimes sleep heals me from that mood. I wake up that way, go through the day, go to sleep, and wake up fine the next day. Maybe a good night sleep will turn it around.